‘Lyla,’ Eddie replies.
‘And … what’s she like?’
‘I don’t really know.’ His admission hangs in the air. Get it together, I tell myself.Dosomething.
‘Okay,’ I start, ‘so me and Dad’ll come over …’
‘What for?’ Eddie asks, alarmed.
‘To see you!’
‘When?’
‘Well, right now if that’s okay? Not at work, are you—’
‘Yeah, I am. I’m on a break—’
‘Tomorrow, then?’
‘I’m working in the afternoon.’
‘We’ll come in the morning then. First thing—’
‘You can’t come in themorning,’ he exclaims.
‘Why not? We want to see you—’
‘I’m going out tonight and it’s gonna be a late one.’
‘Oh, right,’ I exclaim.Go clubbing as if everything’s normal and you haven’t made a baby!
‘Mum, honestly,’ he says firmly. ‘There’s no need to dash over here like it’s an emergency.’
‘But itisan emergency!’
‘Well, I just wanted to let you know,’ he cuts in sharply. ‘I’m not up for a family conference, okay?’ I start to protest that it won’t be a conference; only me and his dad, coming over to show our support, because we love him. But Eddie wraps up the call, and I’m left feeling hollow and sick and battered, all at once.
So that’s what happens when you think,At last our son’s got his shit together.
I swivel out of bed, pull on my clothes and look at Frank. He’s standing at our bedroom window now, staring out to sea. Then he swings round to face me, dark eyes beaming hurt and disappointment as he says, ‘I thought you gave him the contraception talk?’
Chapter Eleven
How dare he say this. How dare he blame me, as if I made the girl pregnant!
Oh, I’ve failed at plenty of things. My driving test twice. I never remember to engage my core, the way Pilates Wendy is always telling us to:‘It’s the area where your six-pack would be, Carly.’ (Note: ‘Would be’. Not: ‘is’). And I’ve never managed to cook a meal that my dad has actually enjoyed. At least, shown any pleasure in eating.
But Frank is wrong in implying that this is my fault. Yes, I tried to tell Eddie about contraception. But saying I ‘did the talk’ makes it sound as if it was delivered effectively with major points all clearly communicated.Congratulations, Carly, on your excellent keynote speech!
What actually happened is, I’d got wind of the fact that they were doing sex ed in Eddie’s school year, and I wanted to make sure he’d understood things properly.However, with five of us here it was tricky to talk to any of the kids on their own. Then one afternoon, Frank and the girls had gone out. At last, my big chance!
I’d rounded on Eddie, trapping him like a rat in the kitchen. ‘Erm, I know you’re covering sex ed with Mrs Telfer,’ I started.
‘Er, yeah.’ He backed up against the fridge.
‘I just … y’know. Thought we could have a chat …’ Damn, I was sweating already. The girls had accepted some basic information from me – albeit tersely, in Bella’s case, as she’d stood there with arms folded, waiting for it to be over. Ana had giggled and made jokes throughout. But at least there’d been some communication. Eddie had always been more resistant.
‘No-it’s-fine-thanks,’ he squawked, then bobbed down to tug open a freezer drawer with unnecessary force.
