It’s him.I know it, I can feel it in my gut. I hadn’t necessarily been searching for him, but he has been weighing on my mind ever since we ran into each other. Or, at least, more than usual.
He hasn’t seen me yet, his back is to me. I was driving past on the way home from work, albeit the long way home, but I wanted to chance a peek.
“Don’t hate me. Please.” I broach as I step closer, my voice quiet as not to startle him.
“El. You really shouldn’t go sneaking up on people.” His head turns, his face lifts to look at me.
‘El’God, I love how he uses my old nickname. My mom calls me El, my brother on occasion - usually when he’s drunk. But none of that could compare to the way his raspy voice speaks it. It sounds like it could be a different language, our own secret language.
“You may have been miles away but I’ve still been able to feel it. I know you resent me but you need to know, now, that it was for the best.” I take a seat on the grass a few feet away.
“In a way, I do. But that doesn’t make me like it, it doesn’t make that old ache hurt any less.” His voice is gruff, on the edge of angry. I know he has a point, it doesn’t help dull the pain just because you know it was the right decision. But to know that he still feels the pain too, it’s grounding.
“I think, as hard as it is, we both need to move on. I know it would take time but I want your forgiveness.”
He’s silent for a long time. It puts me on edge to not know what he’s thinking. “I don’t hate you.”
“What?” I ask.
“I like to think I do, it’s supposed to make it easier. I hate what you did, but I could never hate you,” he says quietly.
Good to hear because I still fucking love you.
“I couldn’t look at you, I felt so broken inside. I was afraid if I saw the look on your face that I would crumble. Afterwards, I went home, I wouldn’t leave the house until I knew that you’d left town for good,” I tell him.
“So, how’s life in the F.B.I?” I ask hoping to change the subject.
“It’s different than what you think it’s going to be. But I like the work, it keeps me busy,” he says.
“And where are you based? Last I heard you were in L.A. that was a while ago now though,” I say.
“That was a few years ago, I didn’t like it much but I’ve been in Connecticut for over a year now. But I think that’ll change soon though,” he tells me mysteriously.
“Why’s that? You getting itchy feet again?” I question.
He laughs, a proper throw your head back and have at it laugh. It makes me smile to see how relaxed he is now compared to a couple days ago. “I’ve just accepted a promotion. I requested to be moved to an office closer to home. They offered me a job on the Cyber Squad up here in Lisle,” he tells me.
“But that, that’s like… less than an hour away?” I stutter. Oh. Shit.
“Yeah, I know. I felt guilty when I couldn’t be here for momma when she broke her ankle last year. I just thought it was time for a change. Time for me to finally come home and face my demons.” He smiles.
“Well thank you very much but you know, I’d rather be called a witch over a demon. Makes me sound more feminine.” I stretch my legs out and pose for effect.
It’s supposed to be a joke but as his eyes do a long sweep of my figure I can see he clearly hasn’t taken it that way. When his eyes lock on mine I’m all ready to set him straight, to throw a bucket of water on him. But then I see the heat in his eyes, it captures me locking me in its flame. It’s been so long since I’ve felt his raw hunger for me, I’ve missed his touch, the way he can make my body flame and shiver at the same time.
When my eyes shift from his face I see that we’re closer, only a foot of free space between us. I don’t know who to thank for removing the space between us, me or him. His hand moves on top of my mine, it’s the only thing that connects us. I look back up to see that he’s leaning in closer. I don’t want him to stop but he has to know before this goes any further, that this is not the reason I came here. “Michael.”
“You know that I didn’t come here for this, right?” My voice is all but a breathy whisper. My heart pounds against my ribcage and I worry I might pass out, or that Michael will hear it and think there’s something medically wrong with me.
“I know.” He’s close enough now that I can feel his breath brush against my lips. I keep my eyes trained on his lips, soft and luscious - they look so inviting. I know what they taste like and I miss it, I crave it. I’ve been craving this for eight long years, for just another taste of him.
His lips finally press firmly against mine but immediately I know it’s not enough. I need more. He’s a drug and I’m his addict. I’ve been clean for eight years but it all comes flooding back, the rush of adrenaline from that first hit only makes you need it more.
My arms wrap around his neck not so innocently dragging my chest in until it’s flush with his. My fingers rake through his soft brown hair taking their time and enjoying the sensations. Goosebumps begin to rise all over my body from the gentle caress of his hand on my thigh, he twiddles the material of my dress between his long fingers.
My tongue does a sweep of his mouth spurring his decision - his hand slides under the hemline of my skirt. His thumb grazes the edge of my panties, his fingers splayed over my hip.
A whistle breaks through my senses, our own little bubble suddenly broken. I pull my lips back from Michael’s to look for the sound. My hackles start to relax when I spot the elderly man playing catch with his dog.
“We should get out of here.” I rush out to Michael, my chest is heaving at the feel of Michael’s lips continuing to run themselves over my neck and shoulder. He makes a rumble of agreement before we start to move towards the car park. Despite the interruption, the spell has somehow not been broken.
Hand in hand, I follow in Michael’s hasty footsteps as we head for his car. It’s less than a ten-minute drive to my house but it’s most definitely going to be the longest ten minutes in history. Michael rounds the front of a fancy Dodge and opens the passenger side door for me. I slide in and watch as he’s racing back around for the driver’s door. He tosses out a quick ‘buckle up’ before revving the engine.
