This is bullshit!
I need new friends, badly. I take another look around me and start feeling the desperation kick in. Of course, these lot aren’t my only friends. I have friends from work and even a couple from high school. But none of whom I’m close enough to, to be able to call up and arrange to meet them for coffee.
It’s always just been me and Evan. I’ve never had many friends because I’ve never really needed any. I had my brother and he was all I needed. But now, as an adult, it’s different - it’s not us against the world anymore. Don’t get me wrong, we’re still super close, just not as close as we once were.
As with everything in life, nothing lasts forever. And with that, unfortunately, there’s no one else that I’d want to be spending my birthday with, no matter how shitty my current company is being.
And the reason for my pissed off attitude? Today is my birthday. Well mine and Evan’s birthday, and we’ve come out to celebrate with our group of friends. It’s not the fact that I have to share the birthday spotlight with my twin, it’s not the fact that we’re out at Lane’s bar - yet again. I love being out, no matter where we are, and cocktails are definitely the best when they’re made by one of Lane’s bartenders.
No. The fact that all seven of us are sitting in our regular booth and I’m the most single person here, that’s what’s really pissing me off.
It’s pissing me off so much that even Lane’s cocktails aren’t working their regular magic.
Normally this kind of thing doesn’t get to me that much. I consider myself the laid-back one of the group but lately it’s been more and more evident that this is now a couples group. First, there was Gabby, then Luke and Tash and now my brother. Although Evan and Kate aren’t officially a couple, yet, they may as well be. They’re either at each other’s throats or they’reat each other’s throats- if you know what I mean.
It gets boring being left on my own while they’re all pairing off. It makes me think that maybe I’m the weird one because I’m not in a relationship. But I’m not looking for a relationship right now, all guys are stupid and I don’t want any part of that.
My friends laugh when I say that, but they’re not the only ones. Everyone seems to have a reaction when I spend half an hour trying to convince them that boys are icky. I can quite easily admit that yes I do sound like a child, but I really couldn’t care less. Little girls have the right freaking idea on that one!
I strongly believe in the opinion that guys don’t mature as fast as girls, and that’s why it’d be pointless trying to date someone now. I could always date older but that idea just doesn’t quite appeal to me as much as being single does. I like my freedom, and not having to check in with someone all the time. And I absolutely love that I don’t have to pretend to give a shit about how someone else’s day at the office went.
My mother says that makes me selfish but I’ve been called worse by dates, so the insults tend to bounce right off my skin by now. I like to do me, whatever that may mean.
My brother and Luke finally detached from the group to grab another round of drinks from the bar. I dive back into conversation hoping it might be something more stimulating with just the girls, plus Sam.
I listen for a minute. Nope, apparently not.
“Do you know what color dress you’re going for?”
“I’m thinking the traditional white but Sam’s mom is trying to convince me to wear the dress she wore. She’s been so helpful that I don’t know what to say.”
“Well, do you want to wear her dress? At the end of the day, it’s your wedding and you need to be happy with what you decide.” Tash blinks those big doe-like eyes at Gabby as she speaks from the heart.
How many drinks has she had?
I don’t know Tash as well as I know Gabs and Katie but I’ve never seen her quite so calm. Quiet, yes but that’s a totally different thing to calm in my book.
“Yeah, I know. And truth be told, I haven’t even seen it yet. I’m thinking maybe just wait until I’ve seen it to make up my mind.” Gabby finally smiles, I see Sam squeeze her hand. They share a loving look that’s almost sickly sweet. My gut prickles with envy. I’m super happy for them, but that look just gets me every time. I think it’s because I’ve had that, I’ve shared that look with someone before, and it sucks ass that I lost it.
“I’m sure it’ll be gorgeous babe,” Kate says around a mouthful of rum and coke, she slurps down the rest of her drink before continuing her sentence. “And if it’s not, she’ll understand if you tell her that you want to pick out your own dress. Hell, it’s your big day, it’s not like she’s going to say ‘no’ to you.”
I have to clench my teeth to swallow my yawn. Don’t get me wrong, I’m ecstatic from Sam and Gabby. They’re so happy together, and I wish them all the happiness in the world. But, at the same time, with me being the resident commitment-phobe I’m so not interested in all the wedding stuff. I was actually shocked at how much planning, and fucking money, went into a wedding.
I don’t see myself as an attention hog, but is it too much to ask to just hang out with my friends on my birthday? No wedding stuff, no mushy crap. Just the seven of us hanging out asfriends.
Well, apparently, it is too much to ask. I watch on as Katie continues downing her shots like the glasses are filled with apple juice and not tequila. She’s definitely gonna be bent over the rim of a toilet in an hour or two.
I chew on my straw getting more annoyed by the second that I’m the party pooper tonight. Not that anyone’s noticed but I switched to diet coke two drinks ago. With the way the others are going I’m guessing no one volunteered to be the designated driver for tonight, they’ll probably split a cab. Or I’ll end up driving the fuckers home - which is most likely. I sink further into my seat, my party mood has now completely left the station, so I may as well get comfortable. At least the music is good and my phone is fully charged. It’s barely midnight yet, tonight’s going to be a long one.
