She is magnificent. I want to see her like this a thousand more times. A million more. I want her pleasure to be my life’s new purpose.
My cock pulses as it erupts, untouched and ignored, the sight of Lydia enough to push me over the edge into madness. Milt splatters my stomach in thick ropes, and my muscles tense with the force of my release.
She slumps forward, resting her forehead against my chest. Blindly, I stretch out an arm until my hand finds the water, which I use to hastily clean myself. Then I rub circles across the soft skin of her back, marveling at every drop of her sweat.
Because of me,I think, and I want to shout about my greatest achievement so that the entire universe hears.
Chapter Nineteen
Lydia
“We’re starting to run low on food,” I say, with a glance over my shoulder at Killan. It isn’t often I get to see him wake up. Unsurprisingly, he goes from being asleep to being wide-eyed in a matter of seconds—and without the help of caffeine. It’s kind of annoying that he looks so good after a night sleeping rough. He doesn’t have to worry about his hair getting tangled or his clothes getting crumpled. He need only sit up, and he’s ready to face the day.
I’m not jealous. Not at all.
“We should return home,” he agrees, eyes lingering on my bare legs, since I’m wearing my T-shirt and panties and that’s it. “Pissing behind a stalagmite is quickly losing its appeal.”
“Sure is,” I agree, tossing him a food bar. Thankfully, most of the water has drained away from this section of the cave. My clothes have dried, although they’re starting to smell a bit musty. And I even found my duffle bag. Sure, the zipper’s broken, but it worked fairly well pillowing my head against the lumpy rock floor last night.
“So, how many fan letters have you gotten? Personally, I mean?”
“I did not count.”
“A few? A lot? More than your brothers?”
He snorts. “Why do you want to know?”
I shrug, feigning nonchalance. “No reason. Just wondering how many women are clamoring for your attention.”
“Jealous?”
“No,” I scoff. Although now he’s mentioned it…maybe that’s something I should be jealous of. I’ve spent so long focused on myself and my problems, I forgot there’s a whole universe out there. “I could be jealous,” I amend, “if you’d like me to.”
But he shakes his head. “Roan has received the most. Evidently, he interviews well.”
“Ahh.” I remember reading those interviews online. Sorin and Killan were pretty quiet. I’m guessing in Sorin’s case, he was shy. And Killan was probably too busy glaring at Chloe or thinking about work to answer interview questions.
“But it is the females who have received the majority of the letters. Each of you has your own collection of admirers. I could show you—” He scowls, giving the impression hedoesn’twant to show me.
Stalking forward, Killan closes the small distance between us, resting his upper arms on my shoulders. “Why are you really asking? I know you well enough to know you are planning something.”
“If we extrapolate on your theory that I’m in mourning for my old life, I guess I could reason that Smith stole that life from me. Orkilledthat life.”
“Yes.” If he’s confused about where I’m going with this, he doesn’t say.
“And back on Earth, if you kill someone, you’re punished for it.”
“On Ril I, too.”
“I wish there was some way Smith could be punished for killing my old life. I know I could report him to the Guild, but we don’t even know his real name. They’re never going to find him. So instead, I’ve been thinking…” It’s not even hot in this cave, and I’ve started sweating because it suddenly feels like a huge deal sharing my idea. The last time I had a similar conversation was with Lucas, and that ended with a cancelled wedding.
I gather together that part of myself which has always remained determined to trust my ideas and to see them through to completion. Smith didn’t steal that part of me, even if I have given up on my hope of returning to Earth.
“Akh.” Killan nods understandingly, filling the silence. “You wish to lure John Smith back to Ril II and murder him.”
“What?” I glance up at him, and wow, he looks serious, like he’s really contemplating murder. “No.” Although, now he’s mentioned it…not such a terrible idea. “I’d like to make a documentary about the failed final season of LOVE GALAXY. It would be pretty amateurish; I’ve never done anything like this before. But I could use the video clips and the interviews of us already on InGal. I could also include some of the fan mail to help show how what people see on TV isn’t reality. And maybe I could interview you and the others about your personal experiences with Smith and filming.”
“I imagine Roan has secretly kept a few of the cameras,” Killan says. “You could use those, or I could order you new ones.”
