I swallowed around the tight feeling in my throat. His eyes were clear, serious in a way that cut through every distraction. And it kind of rattled me.
Though I tried to answer him, the words didn't want to come out. I couldn't figure out how to say it without sounding clingy or insecure. But I'd learned the hard way how quickly something could be ripped away, and the idea of losing Eli toanydegree terrified me.
My mind drifted to all the times in the past when I'd wondered if I could ever fit into his life. London was his world, with its high energy, fast pace, and the circles of people he'd built his career around. I was too quiet and reserved for that place. It just wouldn't work. And Tunbridge Wells was too slow for someone like him.
I finally managed to say something, but my gaze drifted elsewhere. "What happens now?"
His brow furrowed. "Now as in...?"
"You've got a whole life in London."
"Okay. And?"
I hesitated. "You shouldn't have to put all that on hold because of me."
He exhaled softly, but there was no frustration in it. "Is that what you think I've been doing?"
I didn't answer.
He rested a hand on my knee. "You thought this wastemporary. Right?"
I gave a half-hearted shrug as I stared at some random spot on the floor, trying to brace for what was coming.
Eli went quiet for a moment – and that only made my nerves worse. But then his hand moved. His fingers touched lightly under my chin and coaxed my gaze back to his. "I don't want to live in London anymore."
What?
He didn't look away, and he didn't let me look away, either. "I've been thinking about it for a while. I've been restless there for years. I just didn't know why." He leaned in to rest his forehead against mine and smiled. "Turns out this was where I wanted to be."
All I could do was stare as I tried to process what he was saying. I'd spent so long believing that London was Eli's home that I never thought he'd ever want to leave it. He'd said it himself outright that he'd lose his mind in a quiet place like this. Had that seriously changed?
"But... Your work," I stammered, my mind still racing to catch up. "Your gallery shows and your clients – "
"I can commute when I need to. I've already talked it over with my manager. Most of my shoots are on location, anyway. I don't need to be in the city full-time. I'd much rather be here. With you."
His voice carried a calm certainty, that soft confidence that had a way of silencing the doubts running around in my head. I'd convinced myself I'd always be on the outside looking in, and now here he was telling me that I was where he wanted to be.
That terrified me just as much as anything else.
"You're not holding me back, Ro," he continued. "I want this. I wantyou. You're the reason I came back here. The city doesn't mean anything without you in it."
I didn't know what to say to that. Every thought in myhead tripped over itself before I could utter a word. So instead, I just reached for him. He moved in without hesitation, arms slipping around my waist to hold me firm and steady against him.
I held him tighter than I meant to. I buried my face in his shoulder and breathed him in. He didn't say a word. And he didn't need to. Because in that moment, he was choosing this. Choosingme.
And I refused to let go of the only person who ever made me feel like I belonged somewhere.
Eli
37
The first thing I felt was a light touch combing through my hair. Barely there. Gentle enough that it blended into whatever half-formed dream I was having. My mind started to pull itself out of sleep, and I blinked my eyes, my vision slow to focus. For a second, I stayed still, caught up in the quiet stillness before fully waking up.
Then I felt it again. Fingers drifting slowly through the strands just above my ear, patient and careful.
I rolled onto my back to find Rowan sitting beside me on the edge of the bed. His expression was unreadable at first. Something quiet, maybe a little distracted. But when he saw I was awake, his gaze softened.
"It's alive," he teased, his voice low and still a little rough around the edges.
