I smiled without thinking. It was small and lazy, not fully formed, but it was real. I reached up and curled a hand around the back of his neck, then gave a gentle tug until he leaned down. He settled against me without hesitation, and I felt him relax into the hug. I wrapped my arms around him and held him there, his chest pressed to mine and his head tucked under my chin.
It struck me how different this version of him was. Just a few months ago, I would've never expected this kind ofcloseness with him. And now he was curled up against me in the most natural way.
He was still very much the quiet and reserved one. But there was something new in him. More open. Less guarded. The way he reached for me this morning, not hesitant or asking for permission – that hadn't always been there. He was choosing this, too. I felt it in the way his fingers curled into my shirt. How he didn't rush to get up.
I kept my hand at the nape of his neck and let the other trail up and down his back. He let out the softest breath and melted a little more against me.
God, I loved seeing him like this. Calm. Relaxed. Safe. Letting himselfhavethings. I'd give up the city a hundred times over to hang on to this.
I pressed a kiss to the top of his head. "You still awake there?"
"Mhm," he mumbled, the sound low and content against my chest.
I smiled again and pulled him just a little closer. "Thought you drifted off on me."
He lifted his head and sat up. "I've been awake for two hours. I couldn't fall asleep again if I tried. You just make a really good pillow."
"Two hours? Why didn't you wake me up?"
"You were out. I didn't want to bother you."
I blinked up at him, then glanced toward the window and realised how the light was filtering into the room. "Wait. What time is it?"
He leaned over to glance at the clock on the wall. "Little after ten."
I sat up with a start. "Ten?!"
"You worked late last night," he said, surprisingly calm. "I figured I'd let you sleep."
"I had an alarm set."
His voice went quiet. "You did... You might've slept through it."
I narrowed my eyes. "Rowan."
He avoided my look with a suspicious amount of interest in the texture of the blanket. "Or I ... might've turned it off."
I stared at him. "Seriously?"
His lips twitched at the corners. "You wouldn't have gotten up, anyway. Your alarm never works when you snore."
I rolled my eyes and kicked him lightly through the blanket. "I do not snore."
"You absolutely do. In fact, it was so bad this morning, I thought your chainsaw was stuck."
He said that with such a straight face that I couldn't even be mad. Couldn't think of a comeback, either.
He stood and brushed a hand over his shirt. "Anyway, breakfast is almost ready. Figured I'd at least wake you up before it got cold."
I pushed the blanket back with a huff and followed him into the kitchen. The smell of eggs and toast hit me halfway across the room – and I was pretty sure I also picked up a hint of that holiday tea he said he hated so much. Rowan went straight to the stove to stir the eggs, so I sneaked behind him and slid my arms around his waist to watch.
Everything smelled good, but I still kind of wanted to get him back for that chainsaw comment. Just to irritate him a bit, I said, "Wow. You didn't burn them this time."
He elbowed me in the ribs without looking back. "Keep talking, and I'll burn yours on purpose."
I laughed and pressed a kiss into his hair.
As he continued to cook, I glanced toward the window and caught a flicker of colour from the twinkling lights on the house across the street. A few others nearby had garlands, wreaths, and of course, the lopsided reindeer.
