StatMan12
I know you're strong and kind and braver than you give yourself credit for.
Tears sting my eyes. I blink them back, typing with shaking hands.
Yoga4Lyfe
Thank you. I needed to hear that tonight.
StatMan12
Anytime. I mean it. If you need reminding, I'm here.
Yoga4Lyfe
I wish I could meet you. For real.
StatMan12: Soon. I promise.
Yoga4Lyfe
You keep saying that.
StatMan12
I know. I'm sorry. It's complicated right now.
Yoga4Lyfe
Is it? Or are you just scared?
The three dots appear and disappear several times. Like he's typingand deleting responses.
StatMan12
Maybe both. I don't want to ruin this by making it real and having it not live up to what we have here.
Yoga4Lyfe
Or maybe it would be even better.
StatMan12
Maybe I'd just disappoint you.
The vulnerability in that admission cracks something open in my chest.
Yoga4Lyfe
I don't think you could. I think you're probably amazing and don't even realize it.
He doesn't reply to that. I set my phone on the nightstand, not wanting to push too hard, and stare at the ceiling. Down the hall, I hear Silas moving around in his room. He's probably getting ready for bed. He’s certainly not thinking about me at all.
My lips part and a small, sad sigh escapes.
Two men exist in my life right now. Silas, who touches me in the real world but won't give me the time of day otherwise. And StatMan, who claims my attention through my phone screen but won't meet me in person.
I don't know which one of the men I'm more let down by. All I know is I'm tired of feeling invisible. I'm useful, but I'm not wanted. I can shrink myself to fit into tiny spaces, but they were never meant for me in the first place.
