I think about the Flames bench and their chirping that felt scripted specifically for me. Machine. Too slow. One step from the injured list.
I think about how good it felt for one heartbeat to cut that winger in half with a legal hit. Then I think about how fasteverything went sideways when I played like a hammer that only knows how to find nails.
It’s pouring rain as I drive home without music. The silence feels appropriate, like a punishment I deserve.
At my apartment, I take a shower hot enough to turn the bathroom into a steam room. I still feel cold when I step out. Icing my shoulder, I open my laptop to watch the game film. I scrub through clips until the screen becomes a smear of gray and red jerseys.
Rubbing my hand across my mouth, I let out a frustrated groan. Nothing makes sense. Every decision I made looks worse in replay.
My phone lights up on the arm of the chair. A message preview glows from the dating app I shouldn't have opened in the first place.
Yoga4Lyfe
Rough day?
One line. Simple. But it slides through my chest like a hand that knows exactly where every bruise is.
I should ignore it, put the phone down, and go to bed. If I had any sense, I would try to sleep off this disaster of a game.
But of course I don't.
I type out an answer that's darker than I mean it to be, then delete it. I try again with something cleaner.
StatMan12
You could say that. Work didn't go well.
Yoga4Lyfe
Want to talk about it?
StatMan12
Not really. I just want to forget it happened.
Yoga4Lyfe
I get that. Sometimes the best thing to do is let the day end and try again tomorrow.
Her words are simple but they settle something in my chest. I lean back in the chair, phone in my hands, ice pack slowly warming against my shoulder.
StatMan12
How was your day?
Yoga4Lyfe
Mixed. I did something I'm proud of. Then someone reminded me why I don't put myself out there very often.
StatMan12
What happened?
Yoga4Lyfe
I tried to help someone that’s a little cranky. And then I got told to stay in my lane. It sucked.
The words hit me like a punch to the gut. My hands go still on the phone. That's what I said to Scout. Those exact words.Stay in your lane.
