My heart won’t be the only one breaking after today, and it’s killing me.
I’m numb as I pack a bag, leaving all the clothes Cristian bought me on the hangers. After storing my bag in the closet, I grab jeans, underwear, and a hoodie and take a quick shower.
Cristian is still asleep when I return to his bedroom. He’ll wake soon with his alarm, but I can’t wait any longer. He needs to know now. Perched on the side of the bed, I lean over and whisper, “I love you, and I’m so sorry,” before kissing him softly on the lips. I will never forget how amazing it feels to be loved by this man, and I’ll never stop missing him.
The pressure in my chest is so intense it feels like I might rupture into billions of atoms and disintegrate into nothing. A choked sob rips from my lips before I can trap it. It’s a miracle it doesn’t wake him, but he’s still sound asleep. It takes effort to compose myself, but I swore I wasn’t going to cry or beg. I’ve got to own my mistakes, accept the consequences, and I can’t be an emotional mess. There will be time to fall apart later. I lightly shake him. “Cristian, wake up.”
He murmurs, reaching for me automatically, and pain pummels me from the inside, but I force myself to be strong. “Cristian,” I speak louder. “I need you to wake up. I have to talk to you.” Running my fingers through the stubble on his face, I call his name again, and this time, his eyes pop open.
“Sloane,” he rasps in a sleep-heavy voice. “You’re dressed.” Concern is instant as he rubs his eyes and sits up against the headrest. “What’s wrong?”
“Everything,” I whisper, struggling to keep my emotions at bay when I look at him.
“I’ve got you, beautiful.” He reaches out for me again, but I scramble off the bed, shaking my head, and folding and unfolding my hands.
“I need to tell you things, Cristian. Important things, and I need you to get dressed.” I can’t do this with him naked in the bed where we’ve shared so many intimate moments. “I’ll make coffee and wait for you in the kitchen.”
I don’t wait for a reply, turning around and walking off, praying my nerves hold because I’m already a mess. I fix two coffees on autopilot while shivering and shaking. I’m so cold inside, and it feels like I could throw up any second. Nerves jump around my chest, and my stomach twists painfully as I wait for him to appear. Cradling the mug in my frozen hands, I take little sips, praying I keep it down.
Footsteps approach, and my entire body locks up. This is it. The moment when I lose the only man I’ve ever loved.
“Our talk will have to wait,” Cristian says, still buttoning up his shirt as he enters the room. “There’s an emergency. I have to go.”
“What emergency?”
He leans in, kissing me quickly. “I’ll tell you later. Kiss Elio for me.”
The front door slams a few seconds later as I stand in shock in the kitchen. My entire body convulses as I slump over the island unit, my heart racing so fast it feels like it might jump out of my chest.
“Sloane.”
My head lifts at Elio’s sleepy voice. “Good morning, my little prince.” My smile is instant despite my heartbreak. It looks like I’m getting one more day with this little guy, and I refuse to waste it being glum.
“Is Daddy gone to work already?”
“He is.” I scoop him up and place him on the counter. “How about pancakes for breakfast?”
“But it’s not pancake day.”
Pancakes are usually only served on Saturdays, but I’m throwing out the rulebook today. “I won’t tell if you don’t.”
“Deal.” He holds up his hand for a high five, and I vow to give him the best last day ever.
* * *
I’m on edge as I watch Elio run around the playground in Central Park, keeping one eye on him and watching for any sign of Diego or Alvaro with the other. I didn’t take my cartel cell—I’ve been afraid to even look at it today—but that doesn’t mean we weren’t tailed. Trying to keep Elio in all day didn’t work because he’s not the kind of kid who can be cooped up inside. He was begging me to come to the park for ages, and I relented after lunch. With four armed bodyguards protecting us, it should be safe. Especially when we’re in public, in a crowded part of the park, in the middle of the day. Still, I can’t relax, and I won’t until we are safely back indoors. I don’t know how long it will take the cartel to come for me, but I plan to be far away from Cristian and Elio when they do. My fingers curl around the Glock in my jeans pocket, and it offers a modicum of comfort. “Five more minutes,” I call out when Elio looks my way.
“I wish I had a tenth of his energy,” John Angelo says, chuckling as Elio whizzes down the slide for the umpteenth time.
“You and me both. He’s a live wire.”
“He’s a great little guy.”
“He is the best. It only took about three seconds for him to claim my heart.”
“How long was it for the boss?” John Angelo asks with a wink.
“Instant.” I don’t even hesitate to offer him complete honesty.
