“What? Why?” Da asks, looking between me and Shane with a puckered brow.
Shane quickly explains what happened while I quietly seethe. Now my entire family will know. Great, that’s just great.
“Dillon has a lot he needs to apologize for, but you were out of line, Shane,” Da says.
“Someone had to try to punch sense into him.” Shane shucks out of Ro’s embrace.
“You said that on purpose?” Ro arches a brow, and Shane’s head bobs.
“I don’t think you’re a rapist, Dil,” Shane says, slowly approaching. “I shouldn’t have said that, but if you don’t stop all this bullshit, that could become a reality. You’re so out of it most days I don’t know how you can even walk straight.”
“You’re an asshole,” I hiss at him as Da tightens his hold on my arms.
“So are you.”
“I know, and I don’t care.”
Sadness ghosts over Shane’s face. “I’m sorry for starting a fight, and I’m sorry for saying you weren’t an O’Donoghue.”
A muscle pops in my jaw as I stare at my brother. We’ve always had a tumultuous relationship, but the past few years, we have mostly gotten on. Shane calling me out on my shit is expected. The only surprise is he didn’t do it sooner.
“I didn’t mean that, Dillon. You’re one of us through and through. It’s why when you hurt we all hurt.” Ro nods in agreement as Shane continues. “When you do something wrong, we all accept that responsibility. You didn’t technically do wrong by Shelby Sullivan, but you didn’t treat her right either. That’s not you. I don’t give a flying fuck what you say, but that is not who my brother is. Wherever he’s gone, bring him the fuck back before it’s too late. If you won’t talk to us or your friends, go and talk to a professional, but this has got to stop, Dillon, before someone ends up really hurt.” His chest heaves, and his eyes radiate pain when he adds, “That someone could be you.”
He walks away with his arm around Ro’s shoulders, talking to him as they head towards the house. Da only releases me when they’ve gone inside. I move to walk into the outbuilding, but Da stops me with a hand on my chest. “Hold up there, young man. You’re weeks behind on your chores, and you’re working on the farm with me today. If you can’t vent your emotions through words, do it with your hands in a meaningful way.”
16
AGE 17 TO 18
“Oh my god.” Ma slaps a hand over her chest, pinning me with a horrified stare as I take a seat around the dinner table. “What have you done?”
I don’t bother answering. Nothing I say will be right. I knew Ma wouldn’t be happy, but I didn’t do this for her.
“I like it. It’s very edgy,” Ash says, smiling as her gaze roams over my newly dyed white-blond hair before clocking the eyebrow, nose, and lip piercing. “Very rock ’n’ roll.”
“Why did you have to pierce your lovely skin?” Ma maintains the look of horror on her face as she examines my piercings. “You look like a member of a gang.”
Ash’s lips twitch. “Ma, lighten up. Loads of guys have piercings these days. Tattoos too. I was thinking of getting a stud in my nose.”
“You should do it,” I say, placing three thick-cut slices of beef on my plate. “It’d look cool with your hair.” Ash has embraced her pixie cut, and she’s determined to keep it that way. She said she’s never wearing her hair long again. Personally, I think she should wear it long to spite Cillian Doyle. He’s no longer around anyway. I wouldn’t let that prick take anything else from me, ifI was her, but it’s her call. Either way, my sister looks beautiful. Her shorter hair showcases her pretty face. I’m guessing when we return to school she’ll have no shortage of offers, though I doubt Ash’ll be interested. She says she is turned off guys for life. It won’t last forever, but I think she’s right to avoid distractions and concentrate on school. She’s determined to go to Trinity next year.
“You’ll have even more birds fighting all over you.” Ro smirks. “Maybe I’ll transform myself too.”
“Over my dead body, Ronan O’Donoghue.” Ma waves her finger in his direction as she puts a large bowl of veggies on the table. “You are perfect the way you are. You don’t need to change a thing. The same goes for you, Dillon. I don’t understand why you had to do this.” She leans in with concern etched all over her face. “Are those green contacts?”
“Yeah,” I say, spooning a dollop of mashed potatoes on my plate. “What of it?” I challenge her with a look.
“You have such beautiful blue eyes. Why would you want to hide them?”
“Because I hate them!” I bark, slamming a spoonful of veggies onto my plate. “It’s my face, my body. I’ll do what the fuck I like, and you’d better get used to it as I plan to get lots of ink.” I’ve already booked an appointment with a guy in Bray who came recommended by Jono’s brother. He did his ink, and it looks sick.
“Dillon. You will watch your tone with your mother.” Da fixes me with a stern look that is rare. “We talked about this last week. You will not disrespect your mother or raise your voice at this table.”
“Fine.” My chair scrapes off the tiled floor as I push it back and stand. “I’ll leave.” I storm off with a chorus of voices calling after me.
I’m strumming on my guitar, trying to fit a melody to some new lyrics I’ve written, when Ash shows up.
“Open up, dumbass. I have food.”
