“She won’t stop screaming and throwing things. She won’t listen to any of us,” Ma cries.
“I’m on my way. Tell her I’ll be there in a minute.” I hang up, shove my phone in my pocket, and run harder than I’ve ever run before.
I’m panting by the time I stumble into Ash’s bedroom. She’s stopped throwing things, but her room is destroyed. Books, smashed picture frames, broken jewelry, and spilled perfume bottles litter the floor as I pick my way through the mess to get to my sister. The teddy bear Cillian won for Ash is ripped apart, and fluffy particles are floating in the air. Posters have been torn off the walls, lying in shreds across her bed. Her laptop dangles precariously off one side of her desk, the screen displaying a multitude of spider cracks. Her desk chair is broken, and wooden spindles lie haphazardly under the open window. Thenet curtain blows softly, offering a glimpse of the moon resting high in the pitch-black sky.
Ash is sitting quietly on her knees in the middle of the devastation, wearing pajamas, just staring straight ahead. Her face is pale, and she looks exhausted. Dropping down beside her, I pull her into my arms. She doesn’t move; she just sits there in a daze with Ma, Da, and Ro standing helplessly in the doorway with concern written all over their faces. “I’ve got her,” I tell them, subtly nodding in Ro’s direction. He’s only fourteen, and he doesn’t need to see this.
Da pulls Ro away, steering him back to bed while Ma hovers reluctantly. “It’s okay, Ma. I’ll take care of her.” I tighten my arms around my sister, pressing a kiss to the top of her hair. Strawberry-blonde strands stick to her cheeks and her brow, but I gently remove them, tucking them behind her ears as Ma softly closes the door, leaving me with my sister.
“What happened?” I ask, sweeping my fingers across her cheek.
She gulps but says nothing.
“Please, Ash. Talk to me.”
Slowly, she turns her head and looks at my face. Her throat is hoarse when she speaks, the words uttered in a monotone voice. “Cillian showed up.” She looks at me as if she’s looking through me. “He said he was sorry, he still loves me, and he only married her because of the baby. He said we can still be together.”
I grind my teeth to the molars and work hard to strangle the potent rage flowing through my veins.
“He said nothing had to change. It didn’t mean we have to be over.” A bitter laugh escapes her mouth, and her eyes blaze angrily. “He said we could still fuck one another behind Kelly’s back, that she didn’t have to know.”
My entire body vibrates with bone-deep fury.
“Then he kissed me.”
I take deep breaths trying to calm down.
Her lips curl into a snarl. “I bit his lip and drew blood. Then I scratched his face and started screaming. I totally lost it. Threw the chair at him as he was escaping through the window.”
As soon as she mentioned his name, I knew the coward had snuck in through her bedroom window. He’d been doing that for years when they were a couple.
She shucks off my embrace and stands on wobbly legs. “I’m tired. I want to go back to bed.”
“Ash.” I climb to my feet and reach for her.
“It’s okay, Dil.” She smiles weakly. “This actually helped. All I was good for was sex. That’s clearly all I meant to him. I never meant to him what he meant to me. I see that now.”
I don’t think that was true, and I’m not sure I believe this has genuinely helped, but now isn’t the time to get into all that. Together, we clean up her room in silence, salvaging what we can and dumping the rest in black sacks. Then I make her tea with honey and lemon, and after she drinks it, I turn off the overhead light and lie on top of the bed with my arm over her while she’s under the covers. I have every intention of sneaking off to find Cillian and reacquaint him with my fists, but I fall asleep beside my sister, and the next thing I know, Ma is shaking us to get ready for school.
Ash refuses to go to school, and Ma doesn’t have the heart to make her after last night. It’s not like she’s been present at school much lately anyway. I’m not so lucky. I offer to stay home with Ash knowing it’s Ma’s day to volunteer at the local nursing home, Da is already at work on the farm, and Ro will be at school. Ma refuses to let me stay home, but I can make that work to my advantage. After getting dressed in my school uniform in record time, I skip breakfast and leave the house early, running across the road from my farm, straight towards Cillian’s house.
Kelly was bragging at school last week that Cillian’s parents renovated the playroom downstairs, turning it into a master bedroom with en suite bathroom for the newlyweds. It’s no wonder her big mouth gets her into so much trouble.
She made this too easy. The window is open, and I climb inside with zero hesitation. The shower is on, and Cillian is the only one in the bed, still fast asleep and oblivious.
But not for long.
Dragging that sad sack of shit out from under the covers, I beat him to a pulp with zero remorse. Red-hot rage is the blood flowing through my veins as I pummel his face and his bare torso, not giving him a chance to retaliate. “You don’t get to disrespect my sister like that after everything you’ve done,” I roar, landing a particularly vicious punch to his gut. At some point, his wife must have emerged from the shower, but I was too busy fucking up her husband to notice. Kelly is screaming and cowering in the corner, wearing only a towel, cradling her stomach like her baby needs protecting from me. As much as I hate her, I would never lay a finger on her or her unborn child.
Mr. and Mrs. Doyle rush into the room a few minutes later. I punch Cillian’s da in the face when he tries to pull me off his son.
“Tell them what you did!” I roar, shoving Cillian up against the wall. His face is awash with blood, but it’s telling he’s not even attempting to fight back. He knows he deserves this. “Tell your pregnant wife how you crept into my sister’s bedroom last night and told her you still loved her.”
Kelly’s screeching reaches new heights as Mrs. Doyle helps her husband to his feet, but I tune her out. Bitch is giving me a headache. “Man the fuck up, Cillian. Tell them how you kissed Ash without her permission and told her you wanted to keep fucking her because you only married Kelly to do right by the baby.” I land another savage punch, and he spits blood out of his mouth. It’s possible he might have broken a tooth or two.
“That’s enough.” Mr. Doyle grabs my arms and yanks me away from his son. Cillian slithers to the floor like the slimy snake he is. “Elizabeth, call the police.”
His wife moves towards the door. “While you’re at it,” I calmly say, “don’t forget to tell them about your son’s breaking and entering and forcing himself on a woman who isn’t his wife. Be sure to mention that. I can just see the headline now inThe Wicklow People.” Appearances are the only thing besides God and her precious family that matters to Elizabeth Doyle.
