“You were wrong to target Vivien, but you ended up paying the biggest price,” Da says. “You lost her, and you’ve missed years with your son.”
“I have, but I’m determined to make things right if she’ll let me.”
“Did you have any kind of relationship with Reeve?” Ma asks, taking a tissue from Ash and dabbing at her eyes.
“No.” A muscle clenches in my jaw. “He was part of the manipulation.”
“Oh, Dillon.” Ma reaches forward, taking my hand. “Simon was a very evil man to have planted so many doubts in yourhead. Do you truly believe your twin knew and he wanted nothing to do with you? Do you truly believe Vivien could love and marry a man like that?”
“I’ve tried telling him, Ma,” Ash says. “But he won’t listen. He’s convinced Reeve was in on the plan from the start. It doesn’t matter what Vivien has told him. He refuses to believe it.”
“What good does it do now? Reeve is dead. Even if I am wrong, it’s too late. Reeve has displayed a lot of manipulative qualities. He was spying on us in Ireland, for fuck’s sake!”
“You see the irony, right?” Ciarán asks, stretching his legs out in front of him.
“You’re every bit as secretive and manipulative as Reeve was.” Trust Shane not to mince words.
I want to argue, but I have no basis for disputing that view because it’s true.And you know what?Maybe Viv is telling the truth. Perhaps Reeve wasn’t acting at the meeting. Perhaps he didn’t know until after his father died. Maybe that was Simon’s greatest lie, forged to keep his twin sons separated forever, and I fell for it. I’m still struggling to figure out my twin and his motivations.
“I’m disappointed you kept so much from us, Dillon.” Ma squeezes my hand. “You should have come to us when Simon approached you. I knew something happened that night at the boxing club. I should have pushed you harder to tell me what was wrong.”
“It wouldn’t have made any difference, Ma. I was never going to tell you.” I knock back the last of my whiskey. “I was ashamed. I was hurting. I stupidly thought if I told you you wouldn’t want me either.”
“Oh, Dillon.” Tears prick Ma’s eyes again. “I feel like we didn’t love you enough. Why else would you think those things?”
“No, Ma.” Setting my glass down, I drop to my knees in front of her. “You loved me plenty even when I wasn’t easy to love. The blame is on me. I was a stupid kid who focused on all the wrong things. I should have told you. Everything would have been so different if I had, but I can’t turn back time. I can’t change all the mistakes I’ve made. I’ve just got to try to make up for them and not make any more.”
“Youhavemade a lot of mistakes, Dillon. I’m still struggling to process all the secrets and lies. To understand how my son could lie to our faces and treat any woman the way you’ve treated that poor girl. But I also know you have the biggest heart and you’ve struggled with your feelings your entire life. I know you’re not a bad person. We all know that. You’re our son, our brother. We love you, and we’re here for you. For you and Easton.” A bright smile lights up her face. “No more lies, Dillon.” Her expression morphs into a stern one. “No more concealing things from us. From now on, you’ll tell us everything, and you’ll let us help. It’s nonnegotiable.”
I bob my head. “I will need your help because Vivien is going to fight me every step of the way. She hates me, and I don’t blame her.”
“I don’t think Vivien could ever truly hate you, Dillon,” Ash says as I sit back in my seat and straighten up. “She loved you a lot. Those feelings were forcibly terminated, but they didn’t die.”
“That poor girl is hurting, and you’ll need to be very patient with her,” Ma adds.
“You can’t railroad her,” Shane supplies.
“Let her set the pace,” Ciarán says, and his words take me back in time.
“I will be whatever and whoever she needs me to be, and she sets the timeline. I let her down before, and I won’t do that again. I don’t care what I must do to make amends, I’ll do it. She might not know it, but Vivien needs me. Easton needs me. I failed myfamily once before, but I’m not failing them now. They are mine to protect and love, and I intend to do that every day from now until the end of my days.”
EPILOGUE
AGE 52
“What’re you watching?” my wife asks, entering our living room in runners, yoga pants, and a slouchy top over a cropped bra top, clearly just arriving home after her regular weekly yoga class. Ash and Audrey attend the same session, and they usually grab a coffee afterwards. Viv’s hair is up in a high ponytail, and there isn’t a scrap of makeup on her face, but she’s still the most beautiful woman in the world.
“Our movie.” I press pause on the remote and open my arms in invitation. I need to hold my wife.
Viv drops her rolled-up yoga mat on the ground and crawls onto the sofa beside me, instantly curling into my side. My arms wind around her on autopilot. Her gaze roams to the giant wall-mounted TV screen, which is paused at the scene after Reeve’s funeral at Vivien and Reeve’s house, where we had the big meeting. Her probing eyes lift to mine. “Why are you watching that? We haven’t looked at it in years.”
I hold her tighter, pressing a kiss to her head, savoring the familiar smell and feel of her in my arms. “I’ve been feeling melancholy since Melody moved out.” Our youngest starts UCLA in a few days. Her brothers helped me and Viv to move herinto her new dorm a couple days ago. She’s the last one to move out of home, and we’re officially empty nesters now. The house is so quiet even if I love having my wife all to myself again for the first time in years.
Viv rests her head on my chest, and I know she’s listening to the rhythm of my heart because it’s one of her favorite things to do. Deep down, I think she needs the reassurance my steady heart beat offers. It helps to ground her. “I know the feeling. Our babies are all grown up. They don’t need us anymore.” She sniffles, and I’m not surprised to see tears in her eyes when I lift her onto my lap, facing me.
“Our babies will always need us, Hollywood.” I kiss her softly, and a deep sense of contentment sinks deep into my bones, like always. “I remember the time I discovered Easton was mine and then Reeve died. I stayed strong because I wanted to be there for you and our son, but I don’t think I could have done it without the support of my parents and my siblings. They helped get me through it.” I brush hair out of her eyes. “I was just thinking back to that time. It was the first time I truly leaned on anyone else. The first time I properly let my family in. Let Ma in. I was twenty-six, and I still needed my mother.”
Our kids adore Vivien. They’ll never stop needing her and loving her. Of that, I’m sure.
