Emotion swells in my chest as I pull him into a hug. “Thanks, man. I love you.”
“I love you too.” He grips my head in his hands. “Which is why this needs to be said. Cut Stevie loose, Gar.” We ease out of our embrace. “If you truly love her, you will let her go. That girl has endured a world of pain, and I hate seeing her robbed of her hard-won happiness. Be the bigger man. Be the man I know you to be. That man would want Stevie to be happy even if it was with another guy. That Garrick would never hurt the woman he loves or repay her loyalty with cruelty.” He places his hand on my chest. “That Garrick is still you. He’s still in there fighting to break free. We both know it. So, prove it. Set Stevie free.”
I break down, sobbing into my hands as my shoulders shake and sharp pain stabs me through the heart. The thought of never seeing Stevie again hurts so badly, but Hudson is right. I have to let her go. I hate myself for hurting her, but I can’t seem to stop it. We’re both miserable, and we’re holding one another back.
Hudson holds me as I cry, and I try not to think of myself as a pussy. Mature men cry, and this sob fest has been long overdue. I need it to purge the vision I have of my future with her.
From the time I met her, Stevie is all I have seen.
She pulled me out of that coma.
It was her face and her voice that tethered me to this world.
It’s surreal thinking about the time I spent in a coma. It’s all a bit of a jumble in my head, but I remember feeling like I was floating on a cloud. Light was everywhere. I remember wanting to move and not being able to. I had an acute sense of smell. Favorite foods and scents brought memories to mind. I heard music. Familiar songs. And familiar voices. I heard Stevie reading to me. I didn’t recall the words or the stories after, but her voice lingered more than most.
My loved ones’ faces floated around me like a revolving slideshow, but it was Stevie’s face that appeared the most. Even after her voice had gone, it was her face that stuck with me. My entire being screamed to reach out to her, and I believe it was that frustration that kept me holding on. It ultimately dragged me back to the land of the living.
She saved me, and now it’s time for me to do the same for her.
I don’t know how I’m going to let her go, but I must.
It’s been so hard not being able to touch her and kiss her. Not being able to sink into her comfort in the way I would like. She’s here, but she’s not. I have been selfish and cruel, and she didn’t deserve it.
This is not how I saw our fairy tale ending, but it’s the only ending that makes sense.
I shuck out of our embrace, swiping at my damp eyes as I try to summon the strength I’ll need to do this.
“It’s time to move on, and I’m not sorry we had this talk,” Hudson says. “At some point, when you’re thinking more clearly, you’re going to want to kick my ass for letting it go on so long. You’re going to hate yourself for the way you treated her, but you need to forgive yourself because you’re still recovering, and it wasn’t entirely your fault.”
I grab some tissues from the box on the coffee table and dab my eyes. “This is going to be one of the hardest things I’ve ever done.”
“I know, but you can do this. It’s the right thing.”
“I want to speak with Beck,” I say, trying not to snarl his name, but it’s challenging. I have an irritational level of anger when it comes to the man who stole my girl.
Hudson’s eyes pop wide. “Why?”
“I need to look him in the eye and see for myself that I can leave Stevie in his care and trust him to love her the way I would have.”
“He’s a good guy, Gar, and he loves her good. I can vouch for him.”
“I trust you, man, but I want to meet him. I need that reassurance so I can let her go and not worry about her.”
“I’m not sure it’s wise.” He drags a hand through his hair.
“You can be in the room if it makes you feel better. I’m not planning on punching the asshole though I’ll probably want to.”
“Okay.” He nods. “I’ll organize something.”
I stare out the window, wondering how I’m going to do this. And whether I can say what I need to and remain calm.
“Do you want me to get Stevie?” Hudson asks.
“Give me a few minutes alone, and then send her in.”
My best buddy stands. “You’re doing the right thing, and I’m proud of you.”
I snort out a harsh laugh. “I doubt there is much to be proud of, but I’m going to rectify that.”
