“You’re welcome.” I wrap my arms around her back, loving that she’s growing more comfortable touching me.
“You’re making me look bad, dude,” Hadley says, faux glaring at me.
“Shut up,” Stevie says, snuggling into my chest.
I could quite happily die in this moment a completely content man.
“You’re the motherfucking bestie of besties,” Stevie adds, eyeballing her friend. “No one is ever knocking you off the top spot.” She peeks up at me. “Sorry, Beck. You’re a close second, but Hadley will always be my girl.”
“Aw, shucks.” Hadley runs over, throwing her arms around us in a group hug. “I think I’m going to cry.”
“Please do,” Stevie encourages her before we break the embrace. “I can’t be the only basket case to fall apart.”
“You’re allowed to be human,” I remind her. “Today’s been a really tough day for you. I’d be alarmed if you didn’t cry.”
“At least I broke my dry-eye spell.” Stevie grips my hand. “Sorry for sobbing all over you.”
“You never have to apologize for that.”
“Come on,” she says, tugging on my hand. “I want to drink my body weight in wine and then collapse in my gorgeous new room where I’ll hopefully have a dreamless sleep.”
Stevie doesn’t drink her weight in wine despite her convictions. Hadley left after one glass. I offered her the other guest bedroom, but she politely declined. Her exams start Monday, so she can’t afford to have a hangover tomorrow and waste her last precious study day. I put some music on, steering clear of the golden oldies I know remind Stevie of Garrick, and we slowly sip wine as we talk.
“I’m so sad,” she admits from her end of the couch. “This day a year ago is when my life, and Garrick’s life, irreversibly changed. This date is always going to be hard for me.”
“I know, but you’ll get through it. No other anniversary will be as hard as this one. The first is always the worst.” We don’t add how Ivy made a difficult situation even more difficult because it doesn’t need to be said.
“Could we listen to The Carpenters?” she asks.
“Of course. Whatever you want.”
“‘Superstar,’ please. It fits how I’m feeling right now.”
PLAY ON SPOTIFY
I change the song, putting on the one she requested. I have a lump in my throat listening to the lyrics and the haunting melody. It’s so fucking sad. Tears roll down Stevie’s face, and I’m struggling not to cry myself. Fuck, this song is too close to home.
Stevie stands, holding her arm out, and I let her pull me up, knowing what she needs before she vocalizes it. I’m surprised she’d want to do this with me, but I don’t question it. If this is what she needs, she’s got it.
I open my arms, and she melts against me, snaking her arms tightly around my waist and resting her head on my chest. I hold her tight as we sway side to side, slowly moving around my living room to the music. She quietly sobs into my shirt, and a few tears creep out of my eyes. “Put on ‘Only Yesterday’,” she says when the first song ends, and I oblige.
PLAY ON SPOTIFY
Stevie holds me tighter as the lyrics bounce off the walls, and we dance in the same position, clinging to one another in a way that’s super intense. It’s impossible not to feel emotional. Her pain is palpable. And it’s a struggle not to crush her to me when I want to hold her in my arms for eternity. She molds perfectly to my body, and it feels like she belongs. Nothing has ever felt more right.
I can barely force breaths out my mouth as the lyrics and my thoughts resonate deeply.
This girl.
She. Is. Everything.
Stevie is changing me inside.
Making me feel things I’ve never felt before.
I’m terrified I’m going to get my heart broken.
Because I can’t compete with a guy in a coma.
