A heavy sigh filters from her lips. “Garrick was only driving my shitty CR-V because I rejected his very generous very thoughtful gift. The brakes failed on my car, and we plowed into traffic head-on. We both knew it wasn’t going to end well. The last words he said were he loved me and I was the best thing to ever happen to him.”
Her face is worryingly devoid of all emotion except for pain when she turns to face me again. It radiates from her pores like a tangible substance. “I wasn’t the best thing to happen to him. I was the worst thing ever. If he’d never met me, he wouldn’t be lying in that hospital bed, asleep to the world and the people in it.”
The depth of her self-loathing knocks me back, like a punch to the face, and I have an uncharacteristic urge to pull her into my arms and hug the shit out of her. If ever anyone needed a hug, it’s Stevie. I hate hearing the desolation in her voice and seeing it painted on her face. Underneath that veil of self-hatred and devastation lies a vibrant woman. I can look beyond the mask she currently presents to the world and see it.
This Stevie isn’t Garrick’s Stevie.
She’s floundering in a world that has let her down.
I shouldn’t want to be her savior. I’m incapable of being anyone’s savior. But I desperately want to be hers.
ChapterForty-One
Stevie
“Idoubt your boyfriend would agree. In those last moments, all he was thinking about was his love for you,” Beck says. “I doubt he regrets a single second of his time with you. I don’t think he’d blame you for what happened either.”
“You can’t say that with any degree of confidence. You don’t know him.”
“I don’t, but I think I might have met him one time.” He runs a hand over the top of his short dark hair. “Is Garrick Allen your boyfriend?”
I slowly nod.
“I should have made the connection the second you said his name. My father and I played golf once with Garrick and his dad, Hugh. I can’t say I know him very well, but we chatted a bit that day. I remember reading about his accident, and it saddened me. He seemed like a good guy.”
“He is. He’s the best,” I whisper. What are the odds I would bump into someone Garrick once played golf with? The world is such a small place.
“How long were you dating?” he asks, buttoning up his coat. He’s wearing another suit underneath it again today, indicating he also came straight from the office.
“Almost a year, but it was an intense year. Garrick is very self-assured, and he knows what he wants from life.”
“You.” He offers me a sad smile.
“I am a part of it. He also loves music, and he’s a talented singer and guitarist. He loves his family, and he’s looking forward to working for the family business.”
“What have the doctors said of his prognosis?” Beck folds his arms across his waist.
“There is brain activity, which is good, and all his physical injuries have healed, but there was some damage to the nerves in his spine, and if he wakes from his coma, there’s a strong possibility he will be paralyzed.”
“That sucks.”
“Yeah, but I’m sure we’ll cope. Right now, I just want him to come back to me. I miss seeing his beautiful eyes. I miss hearing his laugh. I miss his arms around me.” I shrug, trying to downplay the utter loneliness that clings to my bones like a second layer of skin. “I just miss him. So damn much. My world is colorless without him in my life.”
“What do the doctors say about his coma?” he asks.
It’s a diplomatic way of asking if they think he’s ever likely to wake up. “The longer he remains in a coma, the less chance there is he’ll wake. It’s not impossible but rare after so much time has passed.” A strangled laugh bursts from my lips, and he looks at me with a dip between his brows. “This is the first time I’ve been able to admit that out loud.” I clasp my hands in my lap, feeling a sudden chill. “I was afraid if I said the words I’d make it real.”
“I understand.” Sincere warm brown eyes drill into my face.
“Tell me about your girlfriend.” I’m ready for a change of subject.
He instantly stiffens, and a muscle clenches in his jaw.
“Unless you don’t want to talk about it, which is totally fine. I know how hard it is.”
“We weren’t like you and Garrick,” he says after a few silent beats. “Our relationship wasn’t even close to intense love.”
I’m intrigued. “How long were you two dating?”
