“Let me finish washing you before the water turns cold,” I say a few minutes later when I have stopped crying enough to compose myself.
“Are we going to be okay?” he asks, reluctantly letting me go.
“I hope so.” My smile is genuine as I snatch the washcloth again. Deliberately bypassing his swollen cock and sore ass, I wash his thighs, his legs, and his feet. “I just need some time and to take it slow.”
“Whatever you need,” he readily agrees before adding, “You’ve always been too good for me. I have missed you so much, Ashley. I had a physical pain in my heart every day we were apart.”
“Me too,” I admit, placing the cloth on the side of the tub as I finish washing him. Tilting his head back, I wash and rinse his hair.
“Thanks, sweetheart.” He kisses my cheek with tenderness. “Thanks for getting me out of that hellhole too. I knew you would both come for me.”
His words, his touch, and his adoring smile take me back in time, and my heart thuds to a new beat behind my rib cage. “No matter how things were between us, I would never have abandoned you, Chad.” My eyes drift to the straining elephant in the room. I’m not sure how to broach this or whether I should. I just told him I want to take it slow, but it’s clear he’s in need, and I have always liked looking after my men. I fix my gaze on his cock for a few seconds before looking deep into his eyes. “Want me to take care of that?”
“Yes.” His answer is immediate and decisive. “But you don’t have to unless you want to. I can take care of it myself.”
“I wasn’t sure if you’d want anyone touching you,” I truthfully admit because I don’t think we should shy away from talking about what happened to him. I know he was only there for a few days, but she abused him and hurt him, and I don’t know how that’s going to affect him in the days, weeks, and months ahead.
“I always want your touch, Ash. I still crave it as much as I always did, and that won’t ever change because I love you.” He pauses to draw a long breath. “You can help me to forget too. Your touch will help to block out the memory of hers.” His large palm covers the back of my neck. “I need to feel like me again, and you’re an intrinsic part of my soul, Ash, but I won’t lay that burden on you. You said you need time, and I’m more than fine with that. I would wait forever for you.”
“I want to touch you. I’ve missed you. I’ve missed the closeness we had when you were my person, and we were so entwined I barely knew where I started and you ended. I want us to get back to that place.”
He presses his forehead against mine. “I must have done something right in my life to deserve you.” He kisses me more forcefully this time before pulling back. There is barely any space between our faces as he peers deep into my eyes. “Don’t hold back, Ash, and don’t treat me with kid gloves. You know my body as well as I know it. You know what I like and how to work me up. If it triggers anything, I’ll tell you.”
“I don’t want to hurt you or cause you further pain.” My fingers move carefully across his broad wet shoulders.
“You won’t—unless you plan to not kiss me or not wrap your skillful fingers around my dick.”
“Promise you’ll tell me to stop if you need me to,” I say as my fingers trek lower across his collarbone and down to his chest.
“I promise.” He seals it with a loving kiss, clasping my face in his hands as he kisses me deeply and passionately, and I’m drowning in bliss and a whole host of emotions I’ll need to decipher at some stage.
Leaning down, I kiss the spot over his heart where my name is etched in permanent ink. “I love you,” I whisper.
“I love you more,” he says, and we both grin. It’s what we used to say to one another all the time before things turned to shit.
This time when Chad grips my hair, it’s his usual firm hold. He angles my head, devouring my mouth and controlling our kiss, as I circle my hand around his cock and stroke him the way he likes. I pull his flesh down tight, stretching the skin as I brush my thumb over his crown, swiping the precum sitting there. His flesh is slippery, hot, and velvety soft against my hand, and I curl my fingers more tightly around his shaft as I pick up my pace, pumping him in hard, fast thrusts.
Chad moans against my lips, tangling his fingers in my hair and sweeping his tongue into my mouth, as I jerk him off. It doesn’t take him long to find his release, and he kisses me the whole way through it. Ropes of salty cum spray over his abs and up to his chest as I finish him off. When he’s done, I gently release his cock as he slows his kisses. We break apart, gazing at one another. His lips are swollen, his cheeks flush with color, and his eyes seem more alive. “Are you okay?” I ask.
“Yeah, babe.” He pulls my forehead to his. “I needed that in more ways than one. Thank you.”
Grabbing the cloth, I clean him up quickly before helping him to climb out of the tub. I hand him a large fluffy white towel as I grab a hand towel and dry my arm. Chad drapes the towel over his shoulders, and it’s large enough to cover from his torso to his upper thighs. I lean carefully into him. “I know your ass is sore. I saw petroleum jelly in the cupboard. Let me put it on. It’ll help.”
Heat flares on his face.
I know this is difficult for him, but if we’re doing this, he can’t shut me out again. “We’ve explored every part of one another, and you’re intimately acquainted with my ass,” I remind him with a small smile. “You shouldn’t be embarrassed about this. It’s just me, and I want to help.” I don’t know how much it will help. He probably just needs to let it heal naturally, but I wanted to offer. “I want you to know you can talk to me about anything. Ask for my help in any way. I don’t want you to bottle anything up, Chad. Look where that got us the last time.”
“I know, but this is humiliating. It makes me feel…” Pain contorts his handsome face before he lowers his eyes to his feet. His chest heaves painfully. “It makes me feel like less of a man.”
“Chad.” I place my hands carefully on his towel-covered chest, waiting for him to lift his head before I continue speaking. “You aren’t less in my eyes. Would you feelIwas less of a woman if I’d been assaulted?” Technically, I was. Though Baz was considerate during my initiation, I was still forced into having sex with him. Chad doesn’t know about it though, and it’s not like I can mention it now to prove my point.
Chad willneverknow about that.
He shakes his head, like I knew he would.
“Then please try not to feel like that. What happened is all on her, not you. Don’t let her take anything else from you.”
“I don’t want anyone looking at me differently or treating me differently.”
