Alesso folds his arms around her without hesitation. I watch with a lump in my throat as he dusts kisses into her hair while exchanging a meaningful look with me. His eyes are brimming with emotion, and my heart is ricocheting around my chest. My little girl loves him as much as I do, and it’s going to hurt when he eventually has to leave us. “I love you too, princess,” he says, briefly closing his eyes as he hugs her.
“Can I tell you a secret?” she asks, lifting her head from his chest.
“Whisper it in my ear,” he says, playing along.
Elisa eyeballs me as she whispers animatedly in his ear. Pain races across his face for a fleeting moment before he hides it. My brow puckers as I pin him with an inquisitive look. Maintaining eye contact with me, he whispers something in her ear. Elisa beams wider and kisses his cheek. Then he tenderly places her feet on the ground, taking her small hand in his much larger one. “Show me my painting.” He squeezes her hand. “I’m dying of curiosity here.”
Elisa whips off the covering, revealing her painting. It’s an incredible rendition for a nine-year-old, and I think she has definitely inherited her auntie’s creative ability. My heart is like a lump of mush in my chest as she explains the meaning behind the picture to him. Sierra and Ben come up alongside us, and my brother-in-law has his arm slung protectively around my sister’s shoulders. Sierra fixes me with a wistful look as she inspects the picture and listens to her niece giving voice to her dreams.
I have a sudden frantic urge to run away.
To not bear witness to this, because as much as I want to give my little girl everything her heart desires, I can’t give her this.
“This is amazing, Elisa.” Alesso leans down and kisses both her cheeks. “Thank you so much. I love it, and I’m going to buy a frame and hang it on my wall. You can help me tomorrow, if you like.”
“Yay!” She looks up at Alesso like he hung the moon in the sky, and I get it. I really do. It’s so easy to love him.
Ben tempts Elisa away to play with the others, hauling her onto his back and racing toward the bounce house where Romeo and Rowan are jumping around.
“I think my niece might have inherited the Lawson artistic gene,” Sierra says, smiling proudly at the painting.
“You meanyourartistic gene.” I rub my hands down the front of my dress. “The rest of us don’t have an artistic bone in our bodies.”
“I don’t agree,” Alesso replies. “That birthday cake looks pretty artistic to me.”
Sierra grins at him before thrusting an envelope at me. “You left that on the kitchen counter. I’m going to grab some drinks for you two. I need to live vicariously through everyone tonight,” she adds, running a hand over her still flat stomach. “I’ll be right back.”
I know she left on purpose so I could give Alesso his present in private. Gulping back my nerves, I hand the envelope to him. “This is my gift.”
“You didn’t need to buy me anything.” Our fingers brush in the exchange, shooting tingles up my arm. From the way his hand jumps, I think he might have felt it too. “You have already done too much.” Taking my hand in his free one, he gently squeezes my fingers. “Thank you, Serena. No one has ever gone to so much trouble for my birthday. You can’t know how much this means to me. I will never forget it.”
Heat warms my cheeks as I smile at him. “You’re welcome. Everyone should be spoiled on their birthday.” I glance at the envelope in his other hand. “Open it. I hope you like it.” I agonized for ages over what to get him until I came across the event, and I just knew it was the perfect gift.
“No way,” he rasps when he opens the envelope and extracts the contents. His eyes are radiant as he lifts the tickets up. “You got front row seats to the world championship boxing match in Madison Square Garden?”
“I got tickets for everyone,” I confirm. “I’ve never been to a fight before, and I thought it might be fun.”
“We can make another weekend of it in the city,” he says, his excitement palpable.
I try to remember all the fun I had that weekend, rather than focusing on the shitty parts. Maybe a do-over is exactly what is needed. Except I have no romantic expectations this time. “That sounds like a plan.”
Without warning, he pulls me into his arms. “Thank you so much, Rena. This is the perfect present.”
Letting my arms encircle him, I indulge myself with this hug. His familiar scent wafts around me and loneliness batters my heart. I have missed his arms around me, and I want to tell him I’m doing much better and making progress all the time. That maybe we could try again, but I can’t do that to him. I can’t expect him to put his life on hold indefinitely for me. Reluctantly, I ease out of our embrace. “You’re welcome. I’m glad you like the tickets.”
He shoves his hands in the pockets of his pants, like he needs to occupy them, while he stares at me. The outside world ceases to exist as his warm chocolaty-brown eyes enchant mine. I couldn’t pull my gaze from his if I tried. Heavy emotion fizzes in the air, igniting an invisible charge between us. My heart thumps behind my rib cage, and inside I’m screaming.
I still want him. Still love him. And I hate that I can’t be who he deserves me to be.
That thought breaks the connection, and I avert my gaze, finally drawing air into my lungs. When I look back up, hurt registers on his face, and guilt jumps up and bites me. “What did she whisper?” I blurt the first thing that pops into my head, needing to erase that pain from his face.
His features soften like they do anytime he speaks of my children. I swear he loves them more than their father did. Or at least he outwardly shows he does. Who the hell knows what Alfredo felt deep down inside? He steps a little closer. “I would think that was obvious from her picture.” He tucks a piece of my hair behind my ear. “She told me she prays to God every night that he’ll let me be her new daddy.”
21
ALESSO
“Serena looks well,” Brando says, handing me a fresh beer. He drops onto the sofa beside me while my gaze remains glued to Rena. She’s chatting with Nat, Sierra, and Marlena at one of the tables, smiling as she sips her glass of wine. It’s late now and the kids are all safely tucked in bed. The night is balmy, perfect for sitting outside, but Ben has lit several patio heaters to keep everyone warm because it’s known to dip to fifty-five at night.
