She lifts her head up. “He’s a good man, Zeta. Hearing this doesn’t change my opinion of him.”
“I agree.”
“So, what’s the problem?”
“How can I trust him when he’s kept so much from me? When he does things driven by this pent-up rage and frustration he’s carried with him for years?”
“You help him deal with it, Zeta.”
“I don’t know how.”
She sits up, scooting in closer to me. “You love him, and you support him through it, that’s how.” She leans in, kissing my cheek. “I know you love him deeply. And I know he feels the same. He’s spent years proving that to you. You just didn’t know it. Now, it’s your turn to be that for him.”
I nod. “I want to be there for him. I’m just scared. Scared of me hurting him and him hurting me.”
“That’s only natural, but there is nothing between you now. All the cards are on the table, and it’s up to you how you manage the hand you’ve been dealt. True love is messy and complicated, and it hurts. Sometimes, it’s necessary to feel that pain to remind us why we should fight for love, especially if it’s been hard won, like you and Ryder.”
Tears pool in my eyes. “I should just ditch my shrink and have you on speed dial instead,” I tease, sniffling.
She wipes my tears aside. “Sweetheart, I’m always here for you. You can call me as many times as you like because I love hearing your voice. The day you came back into my life was one of the happiest days I’ve ever experienced. I know we missed out on the first eighteen years together, but to me, in every way, you are my daughter more than my niece, and your happiness matters to me.”
Wracking sobs burst free of my chest, and she pulls me into her arms. “Ryder is a good man trapped in a bad situation. He hasn’t been able to figure his way out of this because he hasn’t had you in his life for the past eight years, but he needs you now, sweetheart. He needs you to help him fight.”
“I’m not going anywhere,” I sniffle. “I always knew that.”
“Good.” She brushes my hair back off my face. “Because true love is being there for your significant other through the bad stuff as well as the good times. It’s caring for your partner when they’re incapable of caring for themselves. It’s being their strength in times of need. But, above all, it’s about forgiveness. And, maybe, just maybe, if you can forgive him, he can start to forgive himself.”
37
Ryder
The bed dips, and a warm body curls around my back, rousing me from slumber. “Go back to sleep,” Zeta murmurs. “I didn’t mean to wake you.”
I twist around until I’m facing her, rubbing my eyes and wrapping my arms around her waist to ensure I’m not dreaming.
“How are you here?” Mike didn’t tell me they were coming back early, and I wasn’t expecting her for a few days yet. Not that I’m in any way complaining.
“I missed you too much,” she says, pressing her hot body in closer. She throws her leg over mine, and my dick starts hardening.
“I missed you too.” She has no idea the hell I’ve been through these past five days, torturing myself over thoughts I’d lost her. Having her back in my arms is more than I dared to hope for.
“I’m sorry I put you through hell,” she says, as if she has a direct line to my inner thoughts. “But I didn’t want to say anything or promise anything until I processed everything.”
“And you have now?”
She nods, smiling expansively. “I love you, Ryder Stone. And I love Jack Hill, the boy I didn’t know, the boy who grew up to become the man I love.”
My eyes penetrate hers, wondering if she means it, because how can she say she loves the real me when she knows what I did. “You can’t mean that.”
She places her hand on my chest, staring deep into my eyes. “I love every part of you, and I know who you are. You are a good person. A good man who was caught in an ugly situation, but it doesn’t change what I know is in your heart.” She traces her finger around the tattoo of her name on my chest. “You loved Cory Barnes. You took care of him as best you could. You tried to save him, and when you couldn’t, you ensured he got justice. You made sure people the world over knew who that special little boy was, and you have done so many good deeds in his name. If there is a heaven, then Cory Barnes is there, and he’s looking down at you, telling you to forgive yourself.” I don’t even realize I’m crying until she wipes my tears away. “And if you’re not ready to forgive yourself yet, that’s okay, because I’m going to help you get there.”
“I don’t deserve you,” I whisper.
“You deserve all the love in the world, and I’m going to give it to you.” She presses her lips to mine. “I love you, and I’m not going anywhere. All I ask is that you never disrespect me or our love because I won’t tolerate being treated the way you treated me at that party. That’s a deal breaker for me.”
“That will never happen again.” I wind my fingers through her hair. “While you were away, I contacted your therapist, and she put me in touch with a local outpatient rehab program. I’ve been seeing a therapist daily, and I’m committed to staying away from drugs. They make me do shit I don’t ever want to do again, so I’m cutting them out. I can tolerate a few beers, but I won’t be drinking to excess either.”
“You’re serious about this?” Hope sparks in her eyes.
