I shake myself out of those thoughts because I won’t be selfish. We’re here for Luc, and I’m going to try and be a friend to him.
He looks like shit, and I can tell by Zeta’s horrified expression that she’s shocked at his bloated appearance. He’s at least double the size he was the last time she saw him. He hasn’t cut his hair in so long, and it’s hanging in matted strands down his back. His gnarly beard is no better. But it’s the vacant, dull look in his eyes and the grayish tone of his skin that’s the worst. He looks like the living dead. Like he’s got one foot in this world and one in the next.
I’m hit by the usual cocktail of emotions. Despite what Zeta believes, Ihavefailed my friend. I did this to him, and I don’t deserve an ounce of the happiness I’ve been experiencing these last few weeks. I’m a despicable human being, and I deserved to die that night on the I-605.
“Luc.” Zeta pulls up a chair beside his bed, lowering her face until she’s eye level with him. “Luc, it’s me, Zeta. I’m here with Ryder.” She takes his hand in hers, squeezing it. He continues to stare vapidly ahead, and it hurts my heart so bad. Zeta looks up at me, agony etched across her face, as she extends her free hand to me.
I walk in slow motion toward her, pulling up another chair and taking her hand in mine. “Hey, buddy. I hate to see you in here again. I wish you’d called me.”
Zeta pulls our conjoined hands to her lips, pressing a soft kiss on my knuckles. She keeps a tight grip on Luc with her other hand. We talk to him, but there’s no response. No indication that he knows we’re here at all. Every so often, Zeta looks over at me with an expression of abject sorrow on her face, and I wish I knew what to do to comfort her.
The door opens, and Luc’s sister, Kat, comes inside. I introduce her to Zeta, and she wraps her into a hug. “Luc often talks about you,” she tells her. “I know he’d be happy you’ve come to visit.”
“I’m sorry I left it so long. I had no idea.”
I pull her into my side, kissing her temple.
“He hasn’t been in a good place for a long time,” Kat explains. “We try to keep his spirits up, but it’s hard when someone’s lost the will to survive.” Tears roll down her face, and huge wracking sobs heave her chest. I circle my arms around her, running my hand up and down her back, trying to comfort her.
“I should’ve done more,” I say, more to myself than her, but she hears me, and she stops crying.
She shoves at my chest. “You stop that, Ryder Stone. You hear me?! No one could’ve done more for my brother than you. You’ve kept him alive all these years. Without you, I honestly don’t think he’d still be with us. He had nothing to live for until you gave him that job, and then you bought him a house and a car, and you’ve made sure none of us want for nothing.”
She waves her hands around. “And look at this. You make sure he has the best of care. You couldn’t do any more for him.” She grabs my chin, and for a small, curvy little woman, she sure has a strong grip. “Stop it. Just stop blaming yourself. That’s not how Luc feels, and it’s not how I feel, so please just stop.”
We leave the hospital an hour later, and I’m mentally and physically drained. Kat insisted there’s no point in us hanging around, and the doctor concurred. The last time Luc slipped into a deep depression, he didn’t speak to anyone for two weeks. But I still feel guilty and restless as we board the private jet for the return journey.
Zeta yawns, and I tell her to take the bedroom. Mike is already reclining in a chair with a heavy blanket over him, and I intend to do the same.
Her only reply is to take my hand and pull me to the bedroom with her. Her gaze bounces between the bed and me. “I know it’s not exactly the biggest bed in the world, but we’ll both fit.” She caresses my cheek. “I don’t want to be alone, and I don’t think you should be either.”
“You won’t hear me complaining.” I kiss her forehead.
“Just to sleep though, Ryder,” she adds, and I nod, not expecting anything more. Just getting to sleep beside her is more than enough.
She goes to the bathroom to get changed, and I toe off my Vans and shuck out of my jeans and shirt, climbing under the covers in just my boxers.
“I’ve been thinking,” Zeta says as she slips under the covers in her silk pajama top and shorts. I try hard not to lower my gaze to her impressive rack, but it’s challenging.
“What’s on your mind?” I pull her back into my chest, draping my arms around her waist.
She rests her arms on mine, and a deep sense of contentment settles over me. I nuzzle my nose into her hair, soaking her all in.
“A change of scenery might be good for Luc. Maybe he needs a break away from Orange County. He could come and stay with me for a while.”
“With us, you mean.” I prop up on one elbow, leaning over so I’m looking her squarely in the face.
“His sister said he’s likely to be in the psychiatric facility for a few months, at the very least, so …”
I can’t decide if her uncertainty is cute or delusional or if she’s already having doubts. “So, you’ll be with me, and he can come and live with us. The U.S. tour doesn’t kick off until next year, and while there’ll be some promo stuff with the new album release in November, it won’t take me away for more than the odd night or two.”
She turns around so we’re facing one another. “I don’t know if I can stay out in the Hamptons that long. I’ve got work and—”
“And I’m your boss’s boss. He’ll do what I tell him.”
She scowls. “You can’t do that!”
“Why the hell not?”
