“You think I don’t know what that feels like, Leo?” I shout as tears fill my eyes again. “You had a choice to make, and you chose it. I made my choices too. I have accepted my fate, and you need to accept that. Whatever we had can never be.”
“Whatever wehave,” he corrects.
“It doesn’t matter, Leo. This time next year, I will be a married woman. You need to let me go. Maybe give one of those women you fuck a chance.” It kills me to say that, but I don’t like thinking of him living his life alone either.
“No one will ever own my heart but you.”
Ditto, I want to say, but I don’t. This has gone on too long. It’s a miracle Papa or Gino haven’t reared their heads. “I don’t want it,” I lie, taking a step back. “And I don’t want you saying any of these things to me again. We were over before we even began, Leo. You need to accept that and move on with your life like I am.”
I don’t wait for him to reply, turning around and racing back into the house.
* * *
“No, Papa!”I cry out later that night as I am talking with him and Ben in Papa’s study. “You promised!”
“You can’t go back on your word.” Ben instantly jumps to defend me.
“I can and I will.” He jabs his finger in the air in Bennett’s direction. “A don makes decisions that will benefit the greater good. Natalia marrying Don Accardi will strengthen the five families. If you’re serious about restarting The Commission, boy, you will support this decision. We need the full weight of the five behind your idea before we can broach the subject with any otherfamiglia. It will take time and planning. This union will go a long way toward solidifying the bonds within New York.”
I know Ben has notions of reforming the defunct Commission, a governing body for the Americanmafiosithat was initially created by Lucky Luciano back in 1931. But I wasn’t aware he had mentioned his plans to Papa. I refuse to believe it’s the reason he wants me to marry Gino. Papa is old school, and he’s getting old. He doesn’t like change. I think he’s just pandering to Ben and using that argument to win his support for this proposed contract.
Not that Ben or I need to agree to it. If Papa says it will happen, then it will happen.
“Why does it have to be now? Why can’t I complete senior year and then marry him?”
“Because his boys need a mother now,principessa.” His hand comes down on my shoulder. “You will be a wonderful Mama to Caleb and Joshua, and they need you. Gino does too. Juliet’s death has devastated him.”
Ben scowls while I keep my thoughts to myself. Marrying a man who has just lost his beloved, cherished wife is last on my list of things to do, but Papa has made up his mind. “Can’t I marry him and continue my studies? Surely, he has a nanny?”
“His sons have just lost their mother, Natalia. He doesn’t want to pawn them off on the nanny. He wants a wife to look after him and care for his children. He wants that woman to be you.”
“You understand how sexist and archaic this is?” Ben’s jaw is tense as he stares Papa down. “And don’t spout that traditional bullshit at me. This isn’t right, and you know it.”
“Gino is a good man. He was a good husband to Juliet, and he will be a good husband to Natalia.”
“I don’t disagree, but surely, allowances can be made so Natalia can complete senior year and get her degree?” Ben continues pushing, and I love him so much for pleading my case.
“I have already asked.” Papa throws his hands into the air. “I am trying to do the right thing for my daughter, and I didn’t sign up for this!” His sharp gaze pins me in place. “If it isn’t Accardi, it will be Conti. We were just about to finalize the contract when Juliet died and Gino approached me,” he says, stalking to his liquor cabinet and pouring himself a scotch.
Acid churns in my gut at the thought of wedding that disgusting pig. Marrying Conti means moving to Philly, being away from my family and everything that is familiar. It means his lecherous greasy hands all over me, and I’d rather shoot myself than readily sign up for that fate.
Suddenly, Gino doesn’t seem like such a bad option.
“Sleep on it,” Papa says over his shoulder. “Make your peace with it before Gino arrives in the morning with the twins.” Swirling the amber-colored liquid in his glass, he turns to face me. “This is a good match,principessa.And it will happen.” He takes a sip of his drink while he watches me. “Remember, your duty is to this family and what you need to do. Your mama prepared you for this, and I have given you more than most fathers would. Instead of whining, count your blessings.”
That statement does not dignify a reply, so I turn on my heel and flee his study for the confines of my bedroom.
29
Natalia
“Let’s take a walk,” Gino says the following morning, after introducing me to his beautiful twin boys. They are blond-haired and blue-eyed, like Juliet, and I see little of Gino in them. Joshua clings to his daddy’s pants leg, not looking at me, while Caleb stares at me with childish curiosity. “Come now, Joshua.” Gino pats his son on the head while prying his small arms from his leg. “Walk ahead with your brother.”
Joshua shakes his head, his blond hair swaying with the motion, as he continues to cling to his Papa.
I crouch down, so I’m at his level, smiling as he slowly meets my eyes. “Do you like apples, Joshua?” He stares at me without speaking. “We have an orchard that has lots and lots of apple trees. If you come with us, you can pick some, and I can make you an apple cake. Would you like that?”
“I like apple cake!” Caleb shouts, rushing to my side. He tugs on my sleeve. “If I pick apples, will you make me cake too?”
