I walk around him and take a seat beside Bennett, reaching over and taking one of his hands in mine. I give it a reassuring squeeze as I smile at him. His eyes fill with warmth, and he squeezes my hand back. I turn my head to eyeball my father. “Don’t treat me like a little girl, Papa,” I say in a calm voice once I have gotten control of my anger. “And don’t you dare try to treat Bennett as a replacement for Mateo.”
Bennett flinches, and I hold his hand tighter. “I loved Matty,” I explain, looking up at him. “And no one could ever take his place, but you’re my brother too. A brother who deserves to exist in his own right, and our relationship will be ours, because we want to care for one another, not because you are trying to fill Mateo’s shoes.” I hope he gets the meaning behind my words.
“I have never had a brother or sister,” he tells me. “I’m used to fending for myself, but I would like to get to know you.”
“I would like that too.” This time when he squeezes my hand, it soothes something deep inside me. I meant what I said. I can’t paper over the cracks in my heart—and the soul-deep pain I know I will always feel at Mateo’s loss—with anyone else, but this is an opportunity to build something new with someone who shares my DNA.
Bennett is my family now too, and I could never turn my back on him.
More than that, Bennett will need me.
He’s been thrown into this life with no warning, and he will need me to help guide his path. Suddenly, I have a new purpose, and it fills me with cautious hope. Something I have not felt for a long time.
“I thought for sure you would hate me,” he admits, staring into my eyes, with sincerity written all over his face. “I’m not sure I’d be as gracious if I was in your shoes.”
“Nonsense. This is not your fault or mine.” I drill another stern look in my father’s direction. He is watching us curiously but not giving too much away. “We have been kept away from one another and denied the opportunity to form a sibling bond. That ends now. You will need my help, and that is what sisters are for.”
He smiles, and it transforms his face. I bet my brother has women dropping at his feet and crawling all over him. “How old are you?” I ask.
“Twenty-one. And you’re eighteen?”
Eighteen going on forty it feels sometimes, but I don’t articulate that thought as I nod.
“This pleases me,” Papa says, and I jerk my gaze to his.
“I’m not doing it for you,” I say, my tone cold. “I’m doing it for Bennett.”
“My close friends call me Ben.”
I consider that for a moment, giving him my full attention. “Then I shall call you Benny.”
His eyes twinkle with indecipherable emotion, and I have a feeling Benny and I are going to get along famously.
“Bennett is going to Italy for a month, next week, to your Aunt Silvie’s,” Papa supplies. “I want him to learn about the traditions first-hand from your Uncle Paulo and your cousins. You should go too. Explore Europe with your female cousins. Take a break from New York for a while.”
I haven’t been to Italy in years. When we were younger, Mama used to take us for a few weeks every summer. But since both sets of grandparents passed away, we stopped going. I don’t need to consider Papa’s offer for long. This is exactly what I need. Provided Leo isn’t being sent on this trip. “If I go, who else will be there?” I ask, eyeballing my father.
“I will send Brando and his capo father with you. Leonardo is needed here,” he adds, daring me to challenge him.
He obviously thinks I want him to go when the truth is I want to stay as far away from Leonardo Messina as possible. Saturday night finally put an end to things between us, and I am determined to lock my feelings away in a permanent lockbox and to never think of him like that again.
“Okay,” I say, breathing more easily. “I will go.”
Benny squeezes my hand, looking relieved. “Thank you.”
No. Thankyou, I want to say. Because I’m pretty sure this man is going to save me from myself.
27
Natalia
Bennett and I forged an instant connection from the second we met. One that was consolidated when we spent that month in Italy together. He held me together as I fell apart. Mopped the copious tears I shed for Mateo and Mama and helped to stitch my heart back together. We shared stories of our childhood, and my heart ached for all he’d had to endure with his prostitute addict mom and no father.
It evoked conflicting emotions in me.
I was so angry with Papa for abandoning him to that fate yet grateful to him for the childhood I’d had. I was loved, sheltered, and cared for in a way Ben hadn’t been. He was curious to learn about the brother he never met, and reminiscing about all the amazing times I had with Mateo helped me to heal.
Ben informed me that summer that Papa was considering reneging on his agreement and marrying me off now. He was concerned I was depressed and thought a husband would be the thing to pull me out of the pit of despair I had slid back into.
