That was the moment our marriage died, and I wouldn’t lose any sleep if Leo killed him now.
But Joshua is trembling against me, and though Caleb spoke fighting words, I know he doesn’t want his father to die. Not truly. If Leo kills Gino, he is signing his own death sentence and igniting a war because there is no doubt the Grecos will use this to their advantage.
“Benny is right.” I step away from my sons and walk over to the three men. “Not like this, my love.” I place my hand on Leo’s arm and tug sharply on it.
Reluctantly, Leo drops his hands, standing in front of my husband and seething with unspent rage. I smooth a hand up and down Leo’s back, and his arm slides around my waist as he leans into me.
“I think it’s best if Gino and I continue this conversation at my office,” Ben suggests, and I know this is more than wanting to defuse the situation. He’s giving me time with Leo. Precious time we need because I see the hurt flaring behind Leo’s eyes and how the news has shaken his entire belief system. I also need to talk to my sons. Today has been a day for a lot of revelations, and we need to discuss them.
“I want joint custody.” I level Gino with a look that dares him to challenge me.
“I’m not moving to Chicago.” Caleb folds his arms across his chest. “I’m staying with Mom. If I never see you again, I’ll die happy.”
Pain flits across Gino’s face, but it’s fleeting.
“The boys love their school, and their friends are here. Let them stay with me during the week, and if they want to see you on the weekends, they can fly in.” I’m trying to put my feelings aside to do what is right for the twins. Caleb may feel differently in time too.
“You can forget we exist,” Caleb supplies. “It’s pretty much what you’ve done since you moved to Chicago anyway. Marry your whore, and leave us in peace.”
“Watch your mouth,” Gino snaps. “I am still your father.”
“In name only,” Caleb retorts. “Mama was the one who was here for us. It was never you.”
That’s not entirely true, but Gino has been neglectful of his relationship with his sons as well, and now he’s paying the price. Joshua is quiet, but I know he’s internalizing everything. I walk to his side, pulling him into my arms. He clings to me, pressing his chin on top of my head. Both boys are so tall they tower over me these days.
“This conversation isn’t over.” Gino stabs his son with a dark look. “For now, I’m going with Ben to iron out the details of our agreement. I will be back to talk to you both tomorrow.”
Brando stays with us while Nario and Ciro leave with Ben and Gino after collecting their weapons. A layer of tension lifts off my shoulders with their absence. “There are muffins in the kitchen, and I made fresh orange juice,” I tell my sons. “Go wait for me there. I just need a few minutes with Leo.”
Joshua shucks out of my embrace, and I kiss his cheek before pulling Caleb into a hug. He’s rigid in my arms, and I know he’s got to be feeling so much. “I love you.” I kiss his brow. “It’s going to be okay.”
He walks off without saying a word.
Gingerly, I step up in front of a troubled-looking Leo. “Let’s talk on the balcony.”
Leo trails me out of the double doors and onto the balcony that wraps around the entire side of our penthouse apartment. It’s still warm for the end of September, but there’s a strong enough breeze at this height, so I wrap my arms around myself to ward off the chill I feel emanating from bone-deep.
I sit down on the wicker couch, and Leo follows me. His eerie silence is worrisome, and he looks like he’s carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders. “I’m sorry I never told you,” I whisper, fighting the tears pricking my eyes. “I wanted to, but I was so scared.”
He lifts strained eyes to mine. “I can’t believe you were pregnant and you didn’t tell me. I can’t believe you went through all of that alone.”
“I couldn’t see any way out of it, Leo. I knew if I told you you’d want to run away or confront Gino, and that would have ended up with all of us dead.”
“You didn’t even give me a chance, Natalia. You just cut me out of the decision and then he…” He buries his face in his hands, and his shoulders heave.
“I can still feel it,” I whisper, my hand going to my flat stomach. “The moment our baby was ripped away from me.” Tears roll down my face. “I screamed and cried the whole time, begging Gino not to do it, but he just helped the doctor to strap me down. I swore then I would never forgive him, and I would never give him a baby. I didn’t want to carry a child unless it was yours.” Sobs travel up my throat, and I’m shaking all over.
He jerks his head up, in silent question, reaching out to hold me as I cry. I let him comfort me, and while I hate the way this has come out, I’m not sorry he knows now. “I had an IUD fitted in secret,” I explain. “Gino was pissed when I failed to get pregnant, and he wanted to send me for tests. I told him the forced illegal abortion had probably made me sterile and investigating it would only lead to questions, so he dropped it, accepting my explanation.”
“I want to kill him,” Leo growls. “I have always wanted to kill him, but this?” Angry tears well in his eyes. “This is unforgivable, and he must die.”
I shake my head. “No, Leo.” I cup his face. “We can’t dwell on the past. It’s time to put it behind us and to move forward. This way, we get to be together. We have a future. A future that involves babies, if that is what you want.”
“Jesus, Nat.” He shucks out of my hold and stands, pacing. “How can you say that? I have only just discovered you were pregnant with my kid and that fucking asshole forced an abortion on you!” he shouts. “I can’t forget that. I can’t let it go. I can’t even think about any other babies.” He grabs fistfuls of his hair. “I need to go. I need to clear my head and think.”
I stand. “Leo, please. I’m sorry.” Tears stream down my face.
He walks over to me and pulls me into his arms. “I know you are,” he says, his voice not quite as angry. “And I don’t blame you for any of this, Nat. You were young, and you did what you thought was best. I know that. I’m angry at myself for putting you in that situation, and I hate that bastard for what he has done to you. For everything he has done to you over the past eleven years. Especially this.” He eases back, kissing my brow. “This has come at me out of the blue, and I just need some time to wrap my head around it.”
