Hearing his confession soothes me.
I know we’re enemies. That this changes nothing. But, in this moment, there are no walls between us. There is only truth. And he’s just proven, at one time, he cared for me.
Enough to suffer a beating.
To keep this a secret from his best friends.
“You should’ve told us that night during spring break,” Theo says, his words carrying accusation.
“Why? Because it would’ve changed anything?” Saint radiates frustration and anger.
“Because it might’ve helped put things in perspective,” Caz states, sighing and sinking back into the couch.
Galen sits back down, burying his head in his hands. He’s always known I’m the girl who was kidnapped, so I’m not exactly sure why he’s reacting so emotionally. Who kidnapped and tortured me didn’t change the outcome, and he hasn’t shown me much sympathy until now.
That guy is such a fucking mystery. One I hope to figure out sometime if only to gain some type of understanding or closure.
“The Sainthood has always been about protecting kids,” Galen says, spearing Saint with a tormented look. “Or at least, that’s what I’ve always thought.”
A muscle pops in Saint’s jaw, and he looks off into space.
“Why would they do this to…Harlow?” He almost whispers my name. “This was before Sinner was prez, so the order must not have come from him.”
I snort, lifting my shirt up at the hem, pointing at the circular-shaped puckered marks on my stomach. “Your precious Sinner did that to me. He removed the blindfold and made me watch his face. He laughed while he stubbed his cigarette out on my flesh. His eyes were manic. His pleasure obvious. Trust me, he was definitely the one in control.”
For years, I refused to think back to those last few hours because the pain was so unbearable. I did such a good job of blanking it out that I’d forgotten I’d seen his face. When I figured things out, and I pulled up photos of The Sainthood members, I picked him out almost instantly.
Galen’s nostrils flare, Theo clenches his fists, and Caz gulps.
Theo jumps up. “This is such fucking crap!” He throws his hands in the air. “All of it!” He puts his face right up in Saint’s. “We had a right to know. This is not unconnected. It can’t be.”
“None of us know that,” Saint says, maintaining a cool tone. “And I said nothing because Sinner reminded me it was to remain a secret.” He looks mildly apologetic as he meets my eyes.
“That is fucking bullshit, and you know it!” Theo screams in Saint’s face, grabbing a fistful of his shirt. You could hear a pin drop in the room. “It’s all a fucking lie, isn’t it? I knew Lo wouldn’t do that.”
Saint shoves Theo away, jumping up and squaring up to him. “It’s possible we don’t know everything, and you need to watch your mouth.”
I stand. “What’s a lie? What do you think I’ve done?”
“Stay out of this,” Saint barks, and it’s clear our little trip down memory lane is over.
“Like hell I will! This is everything to do with me!” I scream.
“It’s Sainthood business that doesn’t concern you.”
“Then, I’m done talking.” Tonight’s been a lot to process, and I need to retreat and assess everything. I swipe another beer and head toward the stairs.
Saint calls out to me as I walk away. “Neo can’t know.”
I spin around. “Why? He’ll kidnap and torture me again?”
He walks calmly toward me. “That was child’s play, princess.” He tips my chin up with one long finger. “And trust me, you don’t want to know what it’s like to be on the receiving end of Dad’s punishment as an adult.”
CHAPTER 24
IAVOID THEkitchen the following morning, forgoing breakfast, and drive to pick up Sariah on an empty stomach. We stop off at our favorite diner, ordering coffee and doughnuts to go.
I park outside the front of the school building, cranking up the heater in the Lexus as we eat while I bring my bestie up to speed.
