Only I never expected anyone listen.
3
Selena
“Okay, ladies. See you same time next week,” the yoga instructor yells out as she brings the class to a close. I stand, rolling up my mat and heading to the changing area. A couple of the girls smile at me, and I smile back, but I don’t engage them in conversation.
I’ve only been coming to this class for five months. Denise helped me locate it. It’s a small class with only ten participants and it’s held in a beautiful old building downtown. The room is massive with high vaulted ceilings, and it’s light and airy with plenty of space so I don’t feel claustrophobic or scared.
Exercise has been very beneficial to my mood, and between yoga and my daily swim in the private pool around the corner from campus, it helps keep my anxiety at bay.
After I’ve showered and changed, I make the fifteen-minute walk alone to the bijou restaurant where I’m meeting Kelly and Todd.
They are already seated in a booth, snuggled up together looking like the cutest couple in the world, when I arrive.
I smile at two of my favorite people as I slip into the seat across from them. “Hey, lovebirds.”
Kelly beams at me. “Todd just informed me that he’s taking me to Vermont for the weekend.”
“Lucky girl.”
“She’s worth it,” Todd replies, staring dreamily at his girlfriend. “And we need to do something special to celebrate our two-year anniversary.”
Sometimes, it’s hard to be around Todd because he’s a sweetheart and a diehard romantic and he reminds me of my ex so much.
Kelly swoons at her man, and I don’t blame her. “Love you, babe,” she says, planting her lips firmly on his.
I glance down at my menu even if I already know what I’m having. Vegetarian ravioli. Like I have every time we come here, because it’s absolutely delicious. I’m not a vegetarian, but I don’t eat a huge amount of meat, preferring fish and vegetarian options with the occasional chicken dish.
Kelly giggles, and I look up, watching her snuggling close to her boyfriend.
I’m happy for my best friend, truly happy she has love in her life, but it only serves to highlight how empty and alone I feel without my one true love.
“Don’t worry,” Kelly says in an overly cheery voice. “I have time to fit in the open casting call before we leave tomorrow.”
“Gee, great,” I deadpan, as the waitress approaches our table. We place our orders, and I’m praying Kelly drops the subject.
But no such luck.
“It’ll be fun. I bet they offer you a part.” She wiggles her brows before puckering her lips around her straw, slurping noisily.
“They are only casting for extras,” I say. “And I still don’t know how I let you talk me into this.”
Kelly had spotted the sign pinned to one of the bulletin boards outside the lecture hall, recruiting extras for a hot new TV show, and somehow coaxed me into putting my name down with hers. Denise was thrilled when I told her, and she has encouraged me to attend the meeting tomorrow.
“It’ll be fun.” She’s practically bouncing in her seat, her dark-blonde hair swaying with the motion. Todd is grinning at her like she hung the moon. “Imagine if we got on that show! It’s all everyone is talking about.”
I must live under a rock because I’d never heard of it. Apparently, some hotshot director has recently opened a new production studio in Boston, and his company is producing a show which will go toe to toe with The CW’sRiverdale. That series Ihaveheard of, and it’s become my secret guilty pleasure. This Boston version is set in college, and they are looking for extras of a similar age.
I can think of nothing worse than being on a production set with people milling about, the director barking orders, and all the hustle and bustle that comes with that world. The craving to ditch the session tomorrow is riding me hard, but I’ve gotten used to stretching myself out of my comfort zone, and I won’t let Kelly down. Unlike me, she actually wants an opportunity to be part of the show. Even if she ends up on the cutting room floor.
So that’s how I find myself at The Grand Imperial Hotel the following afternoon, joining a long line of men and women waiting to sign in.
After we’ve registered, we are shown to a large ballroom which has been fitted out with rows of chairs. I drag Kelly from the top, forcing her to sit in the back row, on the very edge, in case I need to make a dash for it. There are way more people here than I expected. Sweat is already gliding down my spine and sticking my palms to the front of my jeans as I nervously swipe my hands up and down my legs. My foot taps off the floor, and I stare straight ahead as the room fills, avoiding eye contact with anyone.
I’m not aware I’m trembling until Kelly points it out. “We can leave,” she blurts, pinning pained eyes on me. “I’m sorry I made you do this.”
I shake my head, drawing a deep breath, attempting to ignore the nausea swimming up my throat. “It’s okay. I can do this. And you didn’t force me.”
