“Probably.” Noah’s fingers drummed against his thigh, a nervous tell Luke had come to recognize. “I’ve been thinking about everything, about us, about what’s best for Eli?—”
“Don’t.” Luke set down his mug, turning to face Noah fully. “Don’t use what happened today as an excuse to push me away.”
“It’s not an excuse.” Noah’s voice held an edge of frustration. It wasn’t what Luke wanted, but it wassomething.“My son could have drowned today, Luke. While I was what? Getting groceries? Having a nice morning drive with my boyfriend?”
The word “boyfriend” carried a trace of derision Luke didn’t like, almost as if Noah was trying to minimize what they were to each other. “You’re allowed to have a life outside of being Eli’s dad. And he’s fine. Scared, yes, but fine.”
“This time.” Noah stood abruptly, pacing the small balcony. “But what about next time? What if no one had been watching? What if Drew hadn’t been right there?”
“But hewasthere.” Luke fought to keep his voice steady. “We were all there. That’s what family does—we look out for each other.”
Noah’s laugh held no humor. “Family? Luke, we’ve been dating for what, a few months? And suddenly you’re claiming?—”
“Don’t.” Luke’s voice came out sharper than intended. “Don’t diminish what we have. What we are to each other. All three of us.”
Silence fell between them, heavy with words left unsaid. Luke watched Noah struggle, could almost see the war between heart and fear playing out across his face.
“I promised myself when Jenna and I split,” Noah finally said, his voice barely above a whisper, “that Eli would always come first. And I broke that promise today.”
“What? You think loving me somehow makes you less of a father?” The words tasted bitter on Luke’s tongue. “That having more people in his life who care about him is somehow wrong?”
“That’s not—” Noah ran his hands through his hair, a gesture of frustration Luke usually found endearing. “You don’t understand. When he fell… Everyone else knew what to do. Drew jumped in, you were already moving, and I just stood there. I froze. What kind of father freezes when their child is in danger?”
“A human one.” Luke stood, closing the distance between them. “Noah, look at me. Please?”
Noah turned, his eyes reflecting the moonlight and something that looked dangerously like goodbye. “I can’t do this, Luke. I can’t be the father Eli needs and be what you want me to be. It’s not fair to any of us.”
“That’s bullshit, and you know it.” Luke’s hands itched to reach for Noah, to bridge this growing divide, but something in Noah’s stance kept him back. “You’re not the only one who loves him, you know. When I saw him fall, my heart stopped. But that doesn’t mean?—”
“Exactly.” Noah’s voice cracked. “You love him. After just a few months, you love my son. And he adores you. Which means when this ends?—”
“When?” Luke felt like he’d been punched in the gut. “Not if?”
Noah looked away, his shoulders tight with tension. “Be realistic, Luke. You said yourself that you aren’t a relationship guy. I can’t risk Eli getting hurt when?—”
“Don’t you dare.” Luke’s voice shook with emotion. “Don’t use my past as an excuse. I’ve never felt about anyone the way I feel about you and Eli. You know that.”
“Do I?” Noah’s words cut deep. “Because from where I’m standing, it looks like you fell into playing house with us pretty easily. Maybe too easily.”
Luke stepped back, the accusation hitting harder than any physical blow. “So that’s what you think this is? Me playing at being a family until I get bored?”
“I don’t know what to think anymore.” Noah’s voice held a weariness that scared Luke more than his anger. “But I can’t keep doing this. I can’t keep wondering if I’m failing my son because I’m too caught up in what we have.”
Luke wanted to argue, to fight against the fears he could see consuming Noah. But he recognized the set of Noah’s jaw, the way his arms crossed protectively over his chest. He’d made up his mind, and nothing Luke could say right now would change it.
“So what now?” Luke asked, hating how small his voice sounded. “We just pretend none of this meant anything? That we haven’t become a family?”
Noah’s silence spoke volumes. Outside, an owl called into the darkness, its cry echoing across the lake. Luke waited, wishing Noah would say something—anything—to give him hope that they could work through this.
Instead, Noah turned toward the door. “I should check on Eli again.”
“Noah—”
“Please.” Noah’s hand gripped the doorframe, knuckles white. “I need… I need time to think. To figure out what’s best for everyone. And I’m sorry for bringing this up now. I should have waited until we got home, but it’s eating me up inside. I don’t want us fighting. I just… Hell, I don’t even know right now.”
Luke watched him disappear inside, leaving the door open behind him. The invitation to follow was clear, but Luke remained on the balcony, his coffee growing cold beside him. Below, the lake continued its gentle rhythm, unaware that Luke’s world was crumbling around him.
He’d known loving Noah would be complicated. Had accepted the responsibility that came with loving Eli too. But he hadn’t expected this—hadn’t prepared himself for Noah’s fears to become the very thing that could tear them apart.
