Noah’s chest tightened at their exchange. He should be in there, comforting his son, not hiding out here wrestling with his fears. But guilt and doubt kept him rooted in place.
“He’s been happy,” Eli was saying. “He smiles more now. But maybe…maybe he’s mad that I ruined everything?”
“Hey, no.” Luke’s voice was firm. “You haven’t ruined anything. Your dad’s happiness isn’t something you need to worry about, okay? That’s grown-up stuff.”
Noah pressed his palms against his eyes, fighting back tears. His withdrawal was hurting Eli, making him doubt himself. This was exactly what he’d promised himself would never happen—letting his personal life affect his son’s sense of security.
“Can we still go swimming later?” Eli asked hesitantly. “I promise I’ll be more careful.”
“That’s up to your dad,” Luke replied. “But I bet if you ask him, he’ll say yes. He just wants you to be safe.”
Safe. The word echoed in Noah’s mind. Wasn’t that what mattered most? Not just physical safety, but emotional security? And here he was, letting his fears damage the very thing he was trying to protect.
Movement caught his eye—Drew teaching Mason proper diving form while Megan spotted him. The easy way they worked together, sharing responsibility for their children’s safety, made something twist in Noah’s chest. He’d been so focused on being everything for Eli that he’d forgotten children needed more than one person to rely on.
“You okay?” Luke’s voice behind him was soft, careful.
“No,” Noah admitted without turning around. “I keep thinking about what could have happened if Drew hadn’t been right there. If you hadn’t…”
“But wewerethere,” Luke reminded him. “And we always will be.”
Noah finally turned, meeting Luke’s concerned gaze. “That’s what scares me. I’m supposed to be enough for him. I promised myself when Jenna and I split that Eli would always come first, that I wouldn’t let anything—or anyone—distract me from being the parent he needs. Jenna’s counting on me so she can do her job.”
“And you think being happy makes you a worse parent?” Luke stepped closer, his presence steady and grounding. “Having someone you love other than him somehow diminishes your ability to be there for him?”
“I don’t know.” Noah’s voice cracked. “I just know that when he fell, I froze. And you…you didn’t hesitate. You knew exactly what to do.”
“Because I love him too,” Luke said simply. “Not the same way you do—I know I’m not his father. But he’s become part of my heart, Noah. Just like you have.”
The admission hung between them, heavy with meaning. Noah wanted to reach for Luke, to let himself be comforted by the steadiness of his presence. But the image of Eli disappearing over the edge of the dock kept playing in his mind, a stark reminder of how quickly everything could change.
“I should check on him,” Noah said finally, stepping back. “I’m going to take him back down by the other kids. I can’t hold him back just because I’m scared of something happening to him.”
Did hewantto let Eli anywhere near the lake right now? Hell no. But that was his issue. Eli wasn’t scared, despite falling in, and Noah needed to help him get back out there.
“Okay. I’ll help Mom with lunch.”
The afternoon passed in a blur of careful supervision and forced normalcy. Noah sat on the dock while Eli played in the shallow water. Drew and Luke took turns helping the kids practice their swimming. Every splash made his heart race, but he forced himself to stay, to show Eli that one accident didn’t mean he would turn into a helicopter parent.
They didn’t go boating until late in the afternoon, and Noah was pretty sure Luke’s parents made that decision to give Noah’s frayed nerves a bit more time to get over the earlier excitement. If so, it worked. It also helped that all the kids had to wear life vests from the moment they got onto the boat until they were back at the dock.
Dinner was quieter than breakfast had been, the kids exhausted from a day spent in the sun and water and the adults ready for some downtime. Eli stuck close to Noah’s side as if sensing his father’s unease. When bedtime finally came, Noah found himself lingering longer than usual over storytime, memorizing every detail of his son’s peaceful face as he drifted off to sleep.
Now, standing in the upstairs hallway after checking on Eli one final time, Noah felt the weight of the day settling heavily on his shoulders. The house had grown quiet, most of the family having retired to their rooms. Through the window at the end of the hall, he could see Luke sitting alone on the balcony, illuminated by the soft glow of the porch light.
Noah knew they needed to talk. The conversation couldn’t wait until morning, not with the way he’d been withdrawing all day. He owed Luke more than that. Taking a deep breath, Noah headed outside, each step carrying him closer to a conversation he both dreaded and knew they needed to have.
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
Luke tracedhis finger around the rim of his coffee mug, watching the moonlight dance across the lake’s surface. The gentle lapping of waves against the dock soothed him. He’d done his best to hold it together all day, but the truth was, seeing Eli fall had shattered something in him. He couldn’t shake the image of Eli falling, of Noah frozen in place while everyone else sprang into action. He had no idea how he could get Noah to believe he wasn’t at fault.
The screen door creaked open behind him. Luke didn’t need to turn to know it was Noah—he’d recognize those careful footsteps anywhere. For a moment, neither spoke, letting the night sounds fill the space between them.
“Eli finally asleep?” Luke asked, keeping his voice low to match the hushed atmosphere.
“Yeah.” Noah settled into the chair beside him, close but not touching. “Took three stories and two promises that he’ll get to go out on the boat again before we leave, but he’s out.”
Luke’s chest tightened at the lack of emotion in Noah’s voice. All day, he’d watched the man he loved retreat behind walls of guilt and fear, powerless to stop it. “We should probably talk about what happened.”
