“She’sokay.Mostlyholes up in the house now that she’s not working.Ireally wishIcould get her to find a hobby or something.”Iwasn’t sure whyIwas opening up toAnsonabout my frustrations withMom.Mostof the time,Ikept her issues a closely guarded secret, not wanting anyone to know she struggled with her mental health now that she had nothing but time on her hands to think about everything she wished had gone differently in her life. “Shedoesn’t like cooking for herself, but luckily, she has a son who enjoys cooking and usually makes too much.”
“That’sreally sweet of you.”Iwaited forAnsonto protest me cooking for him, but he didn’t.Instead, we wandered the aisles.
Itwas easy to fall into idle chatter with him.Hetold me aboutHarmonyHouse, andIshared stories about some of the ridiculous callsIwas sent on late at night.Itquickly became apparentIhad nothing to be embarrassed about, and my worries that he would rescind his acceptance were for nothing.Heasked questions about howIlearned to cook, andItold him how my mom andIdid a lot of cooking together after we moved toHarmonyGrove.She’dwanted to make sureIwas able to take care of myself on the nights she was working, so she taught me the basics.Ithadn’t been long beforeIwas teaching her new skills thanks to there not being much to watch onTVother than cooking shows.
“Andnow you invite random guys over for dinner, so you have someone to cook for?”Ansonteased.Igave him a playful shove, and the smile he flashed nearly buckled my knees.Hewas a good-looking man even when he was scowling, butIpromised myself to find more ways to see him smile widely enough that the dimples on his cheeks appeared.
Freakingdimples!
Iwasn’t sure why something so mundane was a turn-on, but they really did it for me.Ormaybe it was the way his gray eyes sparkled under the lights when he was genuinely happy.Eventhe fine lines at the corners of his eyes were sexy.
And…this was a dangerous pathIwas starting down.Ineeded to remind myselfAnsonwasn’t a potential partner.Hewas my neighbor.Ahigh school buddy’s older brother.Nothingmore.Neverwould be, no matter how many dirty thoughts popped into my head every timeIwas in his presence.
Heushered me into the checkout first since he seemed to have done his shopping for the week.Ourchatter never ceased asIwaited for the cashier to give me my total, and thenIwaited for him and we walked to the parking lot together. “I’msurprisedIdidn’t see your truck sitting there.”
“Itis hard to miss,”Ansondeadpanned. “Butmaybe you had other things on your mind.Itsounds like you do a lot for your mom.”
“Yeah, well, she did a lot for me, so now it’s my turn to take care of her.”Itwasn’t an option for me to leave her to her own devices.Shewasn’t the reasonImoved back home.NowthatIwas here, she couldn’t pretend life was all sunshine and rainbows.Sheneeded help and maybe someone to push her to take better care of herself. “Andreally, it’s not a hardship.Sheusually keeps a list of things that need to be done around the house, andItake care of that before we make a big meal together.It’sactually fun ifIcan forget the whole her being lonely thing.That’sa bit heavy.”
“Justremember that in the middle of taking care of everyone else, you need to find time to look after yourself too.”Ansondidn’t sound condescending the wayIwould have expected.AndI’dbe damn if the way his voice dropped nearly an octave while still managing to sound concerned didn’t do stupid things to my insides. “Iappreciate the help today.I’mnot sure ifIsaid that earlier.”
Hehadn’t, butIhadn’t offered so he’d praise me.I’ddone it becauseIliked helping people.Momonce went on a tangent about how my love language was acts of service or some such nonsense.Iwasn’t so sure about that, but ifIhad the ability to help others, it seemed selfish to not offer. “It’sno problem.I’veactually thought about taking care of it myself because you’re busy enough with the practice,HarmonyHouse, and everything else you’re involved in.”
“See, that’s exactly whatI’mtalking about.Youthink about everyone else and how you can make their lives easier,”Ansonpointed out as he loaded groceries into the back seat of his truck.Ionly had two bags, soIhadn’t even brought a cart outside. “Whatcan a person do to make your life just a little better?”
“You’redoing it,”Iadmitted.IgrabbedAnson'scart beforeIsaid anything else and risked shoving a foot in my mouth. “I’lltake this for you.”
Ansonplaced his hands on my shoulders, spinning me around to face him. “You’redoing it again.”
Hiseyes narrowed as if silently daring me to dispute him.Ifwe were in the privacy of either of our houses and he’d shown interest in me that way, the stern glare would have knocked me on my ass.Butwe were in public, and he was wrong about me offering to return his cart as a way to help him.Ipointed to my car, which happened to be parked right next to the cart corral. “No, it’s just on my way.”
“Great.Thenyou won’t mind me walking with you to returnmycart then, right?”Myjaw dropped, and the cocky jerk winked at me.Toprove a point,Ilet him walk next to me to the corral.Hegave the cart a good shove, not stopping on the way to my car.Hehurried ahead of me, opening the driver’s side door as soon asIclicked the unlock button. “Thisis killing you, isn’t it?Youlove helping people but have a hard time letting people do things for you.”
“No.”Theprotest fell flat because there was a grain of truth to his words.Itwasn’t thatIdidn’t want people to help me, but rather,I’dalways been the fixer.Iwas the person people came to when things went sideways.IwasMr.Reliable, there in a pinch when friends needed a last-minute dog sitter or someone to pick up the mail when they were out of town because they forgot to submit a request to have it held.Thethought of asking someone for help was simply something that didn’t cross my mind all that often.Iwas capable.Ihad few responsibilities other than work and knew all the pitfalls to avoid most of the time. “Fine.Maybeit’s not easy for me to ask for help, but have you met yourself?Ipractically had to force you to let me help fix the fence, even though it would have been a pain for you to do on your own.”
Ansonshrugged but didn’t dispute whatI’dsaid.ThemoreIgot to know about him, the moreIwanted to get closer.
5
ANSON
Myattention was dividedbetween the road ahead of me and the confusing man following me home.Ipulled into my driveway, waving as he pulled into his.IwishedIhadn’t decided to grab my food for the week because thenIcould have grabbed the veggiesIpicked up and headed straight toKevin’s.
“BringBartwith you,”Kevincalled out asIwalked to the front door.
“Areyou sure about that?He’sgoing to shed all over your place.”Kevinstruck me as the type who kept his house tidy all the time, and that wasn’t always possible with dogs traipsing around.
“Ihave a good vacuum,” he countered.“Wecan always open the slider, and he can run in and out.”
“He’sgoing to get in the way when you’re trying to cook dinner.”Iwasn’t even sure whyIwas so hell-bent on coming up with an excuse to keep from bringingBartover.Maybeit was that he was my out.IfIhad to go home to take care of the dog,Kevincouldn’t accuse me of trying to bail early or thinkIwas a shitty guest.
“Anson, go get your dang dog.”Hesquared his shoulders, and even from across the driveways,Icould feel his take-no-shit glare crumbling my resolve.
Fine.I’dgo home, put away my groceries, and takeBartover toKevin’sfor dinner, even though something was unsettling about the thought of sharing a meal with him while the dog lay on the floor between us.Myhead spun, trying to figure out why being aroundKevinhad me feeling so off-kilter. “Giveme about ten, and we’ll be over.”
Kevinsmiled broadly at my concession.Heopened the back door of his car to grab his bags. “Soundslike a plan.Justbring over the ingredients for the salad.Youcan work on that whileImake the shepherd’s pie.”
WhileIput away my groceries for the week,Itried coming up with a way to get out of dinner withKevin.Hehad a pull on meIdidn’t appreciate.Iwas used to being in control, yet he came along, and something in me suddenly couldn’t resist the urge to be a follower.Allthe while,Icould hear my brothers giving me a hard time the other night whenI’dadmitted thatKevinwas helping me fix the fence afterI’drefused all their offers to help.Theywere constantly on my ass about howIneeded to get out of the house and make friends, and they’d loved giving me shit whenIfinally admittedIwasn’t sitting home alone every day.
