Ansonswallowed hard, struggling to make eye contact.Hisbreaths were shallow, andIswore his hands were colder than they’d been just a few seconds ago. “I’m…Fuck,Idon’t even know how to say this, so please don’t get upset ifIscrew things up.”
“Talkto me,”Ipleaded.Nottalking was where things had gone haywire in the past.Aslong as we communicated,Ifelt confident we could get through just about anything. “Iwon’t ever be upset with you for telling me what’s on your mind.Notthis morning, not ever.”
Heshook his head, tipping my chin back to press a tender kiss to my lips. “Thankyou for that.Ikeep thinkingI’mgoing to wake up at some point and realize this was all just one really long, amazing dream.Anyway,I’mnot really out to anyone.Twoof my friends know a little bit about what’s going on, butIhaven’t even told them for certain whatIam.”
“You’reyou.Andthat’s the only thing that matters,”Iassured him.Theworld seemed so hung up on labels, and while they were necessary for some people,Iwas beginning to see how limiting they could be for someone likeAnson. “It’snot my story to tell, so you don’t have to worry about me saying anything to anyone.”
“It’s…more than that though.”Herubbed his hands on his pant legs before picking at the little balls of fuzz left by the dryer.Itwas the most vulnerable he’d ever allowed me to see him, andIfelt privileged to have this piece of him.Iwasn’t even sure how many people he’d known his entire life got to see this facet of his personality. “You’reout.Everyoneknows you’re gay.AndIdon’t want to be the person who tries shoving you back in the closet just becauseI’mnot ready to step out.”
“Babe, that’s not something you’ll ever have to worry about.”Theendearment slipped out, butIdidn’t regret it whenInoticed the way the corner of his mouth turned up slightly.Heliked it, even if he wouldn’t admit it aloud. “Yes,I’mcomfortable in my sexuality and don’t keep it a secret, butIdon’t feel likeIneed to take out a billboard on the edge of town declaringIgot the best dicking of my life last night.It’snormal for people to keep things quiet when first exploring whether there’s more than chemistry with a partner.Whenthe time is right, we’ll tell people.Untilthen, the rest of the world can think you’re still my grumpy ass neighbor andI’mthe pain in your ass who won’t leave you alone.”
Ansonreached around, giving my ass cheeks a squeeze.Hepressed his lips to mine, andIfelt the smile beforeIsaw it. “Prettysure your ass is the one with pain in it this morning.”
“Oh, big boy has jokes, huh?”WhileIwasn’t promiscuous,I’dhad more than my fair share of relationships.Somehad lasted longer than others, but none had felt this playful.Thisnormal.Sharingcoffee the morning after having my world rocked by the crushInever thoughtI’dhave a chance with felt like it was the way things were supposed to be. “Forthe record,I’mtender, but there’s no pain.Ilove the way you stretched me.Ifyou need to see how muchIenjoyed it, say the word, andI’llhappily bend over for you again.”
Ifwe didn’t quit with the sex talk,Iwas going to drop to my knees and blow him.Asmuch as that sounded like the perfect way to start the day,Istill worried about pushing him too far.Todayneeded to bring back a bit of the normalcy to our friendship so he knewIwasn’t going to run and didn’t thinkIonly wanted him for his dick now thatI’dhad a sample of his natural talent.
Ansoncleared his throat, taking a step back. “I’ll…yeah,Ithink you might need to prove that at some point.Butfor now, it’s just about time to eat.Whydon’t you run up and grab a shower whileIfinish breakfast?”
“Yes,Sir.”Anson’snostrils flared, and his eyes widened.Oh, he liked that.Alot.Ifthings went well,Imight have to tell him about one ofHarmonyGrove’sbest-kept secrets.Ihadn’t been there myself, but only becauseIwasn’t the type to explore my fantasies with someoneIdidn’t know and trust.Ihad both those things withAnson, andIhad a feeling he’d love having a way to unleash his bossy side on my ass.
Andnow,Iwas hard again.Great.Iwas starting to think it would be a natural state of being whenIwas aroundAnson.Heglanced down, smirking when he noticed the tent in the front of my pants. “Upstairs,Kevin.”
Yeah, demandingAnsondefinitely did things to me.Ihurried out of the room, faltering when he called out behind me, “Anddon’t get off while you’re up there.You’regetting clean, not dirty.”
Fuuuuuck.Hewas going to kill me.
WhenIfinished showering and getting dressed,Ireturned to the kitchen to findAnsonsitting at the table waiting for me,Bartsleeping at his feet.Itwas hard to believe how close we’d been to fooling around in the kitchen when he was sitting there scrolling through something on his phone.Hedidn’t look up untilIpulled out the chair next to him. “Havea good shower?”
Iglared at him.Itwould have been better ifIhadn’t had to keep the water just warm enoughIwasn’t shivering.NotthatIwas going to give him that amount of power.Iplastered on a fake smile. “Itwas great, thank you for asking.Andfor making breakfast.Itlooks great.”
Thisversion ofAnsonwas a far cry from the man who barely ate anything that didn’t come out of a pre-proportioned container, ready to pop into the microwave or oven.Thescramble wasn’t anything spectacular, but it was filled with fresh veggies and sausage and had tons of gooey cheese on top.
“So,Iwas curious, how involved are you withHarmonyHouse?”Iknew the local youth center had been started by him and his brothers, but that didn’t mean he had his fingers in the day-to-day operations.ButIhad an ideaIhoped to run by him or that he’d put me in touch with whichever of the brothers would be able to make it a reality.
“Notas much asBilly,” he admitted after swallowing his food. “It’snot likeI’ma silent partner or anything, but he has the background to keep it running, whereasI’dbe more likely to get hung up on the minutia.Whydo you ask?”
Talkingabout this would open wounds that had long since scabbed over for me.Therewere timesIwondered ifAnsonrealized just how lucky he was to have grown up in a family that thrived on unconditional love and where they never had to wonder if there would be presents under the tree.Whenyou compounded the typical societal issues with things likeLGBTQ+ kids being less likely to experience acceptance,Iwanted to do something for those kids who reminded me of myself whenIwas younger.
“Doyou ever do a holiday party for the kids who hang out there?”Ivery carefully didn’t refer to it as aChristmasparty because religion was such a sore spot for a lot of people, myself included.AndIknew many of the teens who frequentedHarmonyHousecame from families who attendedTruth&LightAssemblyon the outskirts of town.Theywere the self-proclaimed moral police in the area, and they truly believed morality was dictated by their interpretation of theBible.Butonly the parts that fit their narrative.
Ansoncocked his head to the side as if he wasn’t sure.Hesat quietly, the thoughtful expression on his face morphing into a frown. “Youknow,Idon’t think they ever have.Ifthey did,Iwas never involved.”
“Whynot?”
“Christmasisn’t really my thing,” he admitted.
“Why?”Isounded like a toddler, butIwas honestly curious.Itwas odd that someone who loved his family as much asAnsondid wasn’t a fan of the holiday.Eventhough we hadn’t had much,Momhad always made sureChristmaswas filled with as many happy memories as she could provide whenIwas a little kid.Inever got the newest gadgets or name-brand clothes, but we spent the day together.Asa teen,I’dwished for more, but asIgot older,Irealized what she’d given me was priceless.Asan adult,Irealized her refusal to put up decorations or call themChristmaspresents once we moved toHarmonyGrovehad been a step in her healing from everything my sperm donor had done, not only to me but to her as well.
Ansonchewed slowly, staring into the distance.Fora few seconds,Iwondered if he’d answer me at all. “Itwas cool whenIwas a kid.Wewoke up onChristmasmorning and opened our stockings, then drove out to my grandparents’ place.Butas they got older, everyone went their separate ways, and somehow, we wound up spending half the day driving around.Bythe time we got home, we were all crabby,Dadwould be pissed because we were all fighting, and there wasn’t any time to really enjoy the gifts we’d been given.”
Thatmade sense,Isupposed.Justhearing him talk about it was exhausting.Icouldn’t imagine having to spend as much time traveling as celebrating.
“Andanymore, it seems like people don’t give a single fuck about spending time with their loved ones.It’sall about the gifts.”ItseemedI’dhit a nerve andAnsonwas on a roll.Hewinced before quickly apologizing. “Sorry, it’s a bit of a sore subject for me.Mymom still loves the holidays, so we get together for her sake, but it’s like any charm the holidays used to hold is gone forever.”
“Whatif you could bring a bit of happiness back?”Itwas a long shot, but ifIwas lucky,Icould makeAnsonsee this was exactly what he needed.Andit would show how committed he was to the future ofHarmonyGrovein case he did run for mayor.
“Whatare you thinking?”
