Thecompliment held more weight, given whatKeithhad shared.Myheart ached forTrinity, wishing everyone had at least one parent willing to fight for them. “Believeme,Iknow.She’sgiven up a lot for me.Butyour uncle seems pretty committed to being in your corner now that you’re here.”
Trinityeyed me warily. “Whatdid he tell you?”
“Hedidn’t betray any confidences,”Iquickly assured them. “Hewas just telling me how he worried about you hurting yourself, and that’s why he’s back there working on the new bookcases.”
“Hetries, but sometimes it’s too much,” they complained. “Hehas no idea how self-sufficientI’vehad to be my entire life.Hethinks his sister was a completely different person than the woman who raised me.Andmaybe there’s some truth to that.ButIwish he’d trust thatI’dbe okay without him giving up his days off for me.”
Iwanted to pullTrinityinto a hug.Theyhad no idea their uncle was just doing what family did for one another.Theyreminded me a lot ofAnsonwhenI’dhad to pull teeth to get him to let me help with the fence.
Ugh.AtleastI’dmanaged almost an hour without his name on my mind.
“Lethim help,”Iurged. “Peoplearound here help one another out, and you’re family, so he’s going to make damn sure you’re not struggling if he can help it.”Iwasn’t about to insult them by disputing their uncle’s issues, but they needed to realize it wasn’tjusttheir battle with his antiquated ideas about what it meant to be anything other than a straight, cisgender man.
Thecorner ofTrinity’smouth turned up in something that could almost be called a grin. “Iguess that’s somethingI’mnot used to having in my life.Thanksfor the reminder.”
“Nota problem.”Iglanced toward the back of the shop, where my mom andKeithwere in a conversation that looked more personal than professional. “Andif you need someone to remind your uncle you’re more than capable of doing things on your own, you let me know.He’sa good guy, and it does seem like he’s trying.”
“You’reright.”Thebells on the door jingled, andTrinityrushed to the entrance to greet their newest customers.AsIwatched them,Ithought about how lucky we were to have a place likeHarmonyGroveto spread our wings.
10
ANSON
“Areyou ready to tell us what’s got you all twisted up, or are we supposed to pretend you’re always this angsty?”Waylonasked as soon as he perched himself on the bar stool across from me.Ithad always been a tradition for anyone in town to gather at theTapthe night beforeThanksgivingto unwind before the insanity of family time the following day.Rightnow,Iwondered whyI’dmissed him during the years when he wasn’t allowed out with us because he’d been at his ex-wife’s family’s house for their celebration.Hewas too damn perceptive and about as subtle as his mom.Ms.Ruthwas one of the sweetest women you could ever want to meet, but after she retired, she’d taken on being the town gossip like it was her new job.
“I’mnot upset about anything.”Thatmuch wasn’t a lie.Confused, conflicted, uncertain, all those applied.ButIwasn’t upset.Notabout the kiss, at least.
“Uh-huh, sure.”Thefront door opened, andTeddywalked in withShilohclose behind.Itwas strange to realizeIwas the last in our friend group still showing up without a date.Myclosest friends, and even my brothers, were all either married or in committed relationships.AdmittingImight have been looking for love in the wrong places in those rare momentsIconsidered settling down to appease my mom was hard, even thoughIknew no one would judge me. “Comeon, if you spit it out now, you’ll feel better, and then you won’t have to worry about everyone grilling you later.”
Ihated whenWaylonwas right.Iwas pretty sure he was predisposed to needing to fix everyone around him, and being a teacher allowed him to hone the skill of getting people to talk, even when that was the last thing they wanted to do.Hisfiancé,Jasper, was nowhere to be found.SinceTeddywas standing at the bar alone,Ifigured the younger men were hiding in the library.Yes, the local bar had a hidden room that felt like a speakeasy or something, and the walls were lined with books.JasperandShilohoften hung out back there for a bit to give the “old men” time to chat.They’dbe back eventually.Andthen,I’dhave even more of an audience for my midlife crisis.
Fuck.
Ileaned in slightly, hopingIcould keep my voice low and still haveWaylonhear me becauseIdidn’t want to ask embarrassing questions more than once. “You’llhave to tell me ifI’mcrossing a line here, but when did you know you were gay?”
“Never.”Waylon’sface remained impassive, andIcouldn’t tell if he was joking.Thefact he was engaged said otherwise.
Except…
Waylonchuckled when the lightbulb went off in my brain. “Shit.I’msorry,Ididn’t mean…Hell,Idon’t know whatImeant.”
“It’sokay,” he reassured me. “Ifyou’re asking whenIrealizedIwas bi, that’s not really a much simpler question to answer.IthinkIalways knew.Butlife had other plans for me, and eventually, those brought me back here soIcould connect withJasper, and the rest is history.I’massuming there’s a reason you’re asking?”
“Hey, guys!”Teddytook the stool next toWaylon’s, and suddenly,Ifelt like this would turn into an interrogation. “What’snew?”
“Apparently,Anson’ssexuality,”Waylonteased.Inarrowed my eyes in silent warning.Helowered his voice, not that anyone seemed to have heard him. “Atleast,I’massuming that’s where we’re headed because he just asked whenIknewIwas gay.”
“You’renot,”Teddyresponded flatly.
“Yeah, we already covered that.”Waylontook a sip of his beer.Iknew his kids were coming into town later tonight, so he andJasperwould likely have to head out earlier than they normally did. “Andwe’ve also covered the fact thatIknewIwas bi from puberty, but it wasn’t until more recently thatIwas able to explore that side of my sexuality.”
Teddylistened intently, nodding atWaylon’sexplanation. “Andthere’s nothing wrong with that.Justbecause some of us come out of the closet earlier than others doesn’t mean one way is better.Andit seems to have worked pretty well for you.”
Waylon’sgaze shifted toward the back hall that led to the hidden room. “Yeah, it did.”Heturned his focus back to me. “AmIright?Isthat what’s got you even more inside your head than you normally are?”
Iswallowed hard.Ifthere was anyoneIcould talk to who wouldn’t judge me or rat me out to my parents, it was these two.Still, my heart raced at the thought of putting the words out there.OnceIadmitted howIwas feeling, those emotions would become real.
Teddyleaned across the table, placing a strong hand on my shoulder. “Listen, man, whatever you’re going through, we’re here for you.Iknow how hard it is to take that first step out of the closet, andIwas a hell of a lot younger than you are now.AndWaylonhad the image of being a perfect husband to his wife and a great father to the kids to overcome.It’srarely cut and dried, but you’ll feel better if you say the words.”
