“We have a few of the teens who have been talking to Shiloh,” Anson cut in. “We’ve been talking about doing a work-partnership program, and this seemed like a way to help a few of the older kids enter the workforce with local businesses so they don’t have to drive up to Pineville.”
Fuck, sometimes I forgot how amazing my brothers were. They really were doing a lot more with the youth center than giving kids a place to hang out after school. I really needed to talk to Anson and Billy to find a way to take part in that program. Rod might grumble about it, but Hot Rod’s was exactly the type of place that should be helping kids realize there were paths other than college. Plus, he was the one who was always bitching about how kids didn’t want to get their hands dirty when they could sit their asses behind a computer.
A while later, Anson approached as I was unwrapping plastic tablecloths for the long banquet tables. He held a credit card between two fingers. “Why don’t you get out of here. Go pick up Ezra and tell him you need his help. I want there to be plenty of gifts for every kid who comes this weekend. We’ll need a variety of gifts, and you can wrap them based on interests, age group, gender, whatever.”
“Uh, Anson…” I understood what he was getting at, but it felt disingenuous for us to separate the gifts by gender. Until now, I’d been happy to be the silent partner, but my mind drifted to Ezra. More than likely, something like a baking set would be set aside as a “girl” gift, but he would have been happy as a pig in mud to receive something so meaningful. Likewise, there were probably girls out there who would appreciate tools or something equally “masculine.” If we were going to stand behind our mission to be inclusive for all, we needed to find a better way. “We really need to find a better way to make sure everyone gets something they’re going to love. I know opening gifts is part of the fun, but is that what we should do in this case? Or would it be better to simply have everything set out where the kids can see?”
“Hmm, good point.” Kevin dropped Bart’s leash, and I held my breath, waiting for the terror to knock over the tree or take someone out at the knees. To my surprise, he headed straight for the dog bed that had appeared out of nowhere and curled up to go to sleep. So much for socializing. “Is there a way we can put a hold on going shopping and send out an email with a form for the families who have already signed up? Then, we can put out one last push on social media and check the tree tags for ideas on other gifts.”
“Or we can get some gift cards,” Anson added. “That way, if someone gets something they truly don’t like, we can have an exchange table and give them a gift card.”
I liked that idea. It would also teach the kids there was no shame in speaking up when you received something that wasn’t to your taste. “So, does that mean you have something else for me to do?”
I should have known better than to ask. Anson handed me his laptop. “Yeah, you can take this over to the bakery or whatever. Put together a simple form. The list of attending families and kids coming on their own is already open. Reach out to them and let them know this is urgent. We need to know by tomorrow, and then we’ll all head up to Pineville for shopping and dinner. Maybe we’ll even rope Mom and Dad into the fun.”
That sounded like torture. But Anson wasn’t done yet.
“Do you think Ezra could make some graphics to post on social media too? He seems like the creative sort.” I wasn’t sure being able to decorate cookies translated well to graphic design, but I wasn’t going to shoot Anson down. Being involved felt good.
Or maybe knowing Ezra and I were working together to give the kids a good Christmas was what kept me from speaking up. “Yeah, we can do that. Are you sure you don’t want another tree for the other room? If this party is as big as we’re hoping, there’s likely to be an overflow. I don’t want people having to choose between being cramped in here and being in a boring room.”
“Look at you, turning into Mr. Christmas,” Danny teased. “Maybe there’s hope for us getting you to dress up as Santa after all.”
“Don’t press your luck,” I grumbled. But unlike when they’d first mentioned the idea, there was no heat behind my words.
Anson glanced in the room off the main hall. There was no arguing it looked utilitarian by comparison. “What are you thinking we should do? I agree it needs something, but we do need to take our budget into account. This is getting to be a pretty massive production, and I don’t want it taking away from the other programs.”
“Then I’ll pay for whatever we need in here.” I lived well below my means, and thanks to some smart investments, I wasn’t hurting. I didn’t make that public knowledge because no one, not even my brothers, needed to know the state of my accounts. “And while I’m at it, I’ll take care of Shiloh too. It’s the least I can do.”
“That’s going to be a chunk, Carson,” Anson warned as if I wasn’t aware of the final catering bill Shiloh had sent over. I was pretty sure he’d undercharged, but he swore everything was right. If everyone else could put their money where their mouths were, so could I.
“Yeah, and maybe I’m trying to do something nice here. Would you stuff a sock in it before I change my mind?”
Anson leaned against one of the tables set up but still bare. He crossed his arms over his chest and stared at me. He pursed his lips and let out a sigh. “What’s really going on here, Carson? It’s not that I don’t appreciate the help, but this isn’t you.”
“What in the hell is that supposed to mean?” I rubbed my temples as I blew out an exaggerated huff of annoyance. There was no winning. When I hadn’t wanted to take part in planning this party, he guilted me into it because all of us were supposed to be involved with Harmony House. And now that I was all-in, he was questioning my motives.
My brother held up his hands in surrender. “I’m not trying to start a fight, but it’s like you had a brain transplant or something. Not even a month ago, you went out of your way to be a hermit. We practically had to threaten you with Mom to get you to come to Friday dinners. You looked like you wanted to take a torch to every Christmas display and a hammer to every speaker playing holiday music. Now, you’re trying to get us to do even more than we originally talked about. Oh, and you’re suddenly in a relationshipwith a man,even though you’ve always gone out of your way to make sure thewomenyou’ve dated understood you don’t do commitment. Admit it, you’d call me out if roles were reversed.”
“Funny you should say that,” I bit out, glancing over his shoulder to where Kevin had Henry on his shoulders to put a star on top of the Christmas tree. “I’ve wondered myself about you diving headfirst into the Christmas spirit, but I didn’t say anything. And do you want to know why? Because it’s none of my fucking business what you’re getting up to. I supported you because you asked me to. So, would you like to explain yourself?”
Anson clenched his jaw and his face flared bright red. If one of us didn’t call a truce, this could easily come to blows we’d both regret before the bruises formed. Okay, so neither of us had resorted to physical violence in over a decade, and the last time, there’d been too much alcohol and too much pent-up frustration over other things, but this was how it always started. We were so much alike that it led to us locking horns from time to time.
“Fine, I see what you’re saying,” he responded through gritted teeth. “I’m just… I don’t know how to explain what’s going on between us because I really don’t have time to get involved with anyone right now. And even if I did, he deserves someone who will shelter him from the world, not growl at him all the fucking time.”
“So change,” I suggested as if it were that simple. And it sort of was when you found the person who made you want to be better. Maybe both of us were on our way to that, as long as we didn’t fuck things up. “Let your mask down and see what happens. You might realize you like yourself better that way too.”
Anson smirked. “Speaking from experience?” He knew damned well I was. He gave me a playful shove. “Get out of here, moneybags. Go pick up that boyfriend of yours and go on a shopping spree. Maybe, after the haze clears and we both have a chance to breathe, we should sit down and actually talk. I feel like we could both use some insight.”
“You might need to hash it out, but that’s not us. Never has been, probably never will be.” Fuck, Mom was going to be annoyed as hell when she realized she was going to stay the only woman in the family—unless one of us adopted a little girl. We were definitely testing her insistence that she wouldn’t know what to do with a girl after so long spent taking care of boys. “But if you want to come over and split some wings and beer while we watch football Monday night, I wouldn’t be opposed.”
Anson hedged, not giving me the quick response I’d expected. The corner of his mouth tipped up in a smile as he heard Kevin’s voice from the other room. “Would it be okay if I get back to you on that?”
“Yeah, man. Do what you gotta do.” I gave him a quick thump on the back and said my goodbyes. There was shopping to be done, and the only way I was going to enjoy myself was with Ezra by my side.
18
EZRA
