CARSON
“So arewe just not talking about the fact Carson has a boyfriend?” Danny asked as we started unloading the haul from Anson’s shopping trip. Because we’d never done a Christmas party at Harmony House before, and we wanted to make sure we represented as many holidays as we could, he and Kevin had run up to Pineville this morning.
“No, we’re not,” Blake scolded him. “If Carson wants to talk to us about whether this is something new or simply new to us, he’ll tell us. Until then, we choose to be happy for him and let him have his peace.”
“Okay, but you have to admit it’s strange,” Danny continued. Even I understood the look Blake gave him. My baby brother was cruising for a spanking when they got home, and it wouldn’t be the fun kind. “How have we gone from me being the token gay kid in the family to three out of four of us being with men?”
“Danny…” This time, Blake dragged his name out a few extra syllables in a stern warning.
“You’re no fun,” Danny mumbled, earning himself a playful swat on the ass. “What if he’s going through some sort of midlife crisis or something? First, he gets a boyfriend, and today, he’s down here making sure the decorations are just perfect. I mean, if it was Billy, it would make sense. He’s always been a geek for the holidays. But this is Carson.”
“Maybe he’s decided he’s found someone worth settling down with, and we owe it to him to let the two of them sort out whatever they’re doing without your meddling,” Blake countered. If it wouldn’t be weird as fuck, I’d have kissed the man.
Watching the two of them together was oddly sweet. When Danny and Michael had been together, we’d all worried that his submission was coerced, that somehow Michael was taking advantage of his best friend’s younger brother. But now that he was in a healthier relationship for him, I saw how desperately Danny craved Blake’s attention and guidance. I tried to not think about how that translated in the bedroom, but there was no hiding their dynamics, even in public. And if they wound up opening a club outside of town like they’d been talking about, there’d be zero chance of them hiding.
Blake pulled Danny aside and whispered something in his ear. My baby brother shifted uncomfortably, but the look in his eyes assured me it wasn’t fear that caused him to have a case of the wiggles. Blake was a big fan of positive reinforcement, and I’d bet money he’d just offered Danny something good if he behaved the rest of the day.
My phone buzzed in my pocket. I pulled it out to see a picture of Teddy, Billy, Michael, and the kids at the tree farm. Since Teddy had the biggest truck, he’d been put on Christmas tree duty. Shiloh had stayed back so he and Jasper could start working on some yule logs to put in the window sills. It seemed everyone in town wanted to get in on the celebration.
“I’m not really sure there’s anything to talk about,” I responded to Danny’s original question. “You were all there listening as I tried to bare my heart to him.”
“Yeah, that’s the point.” Danny continued hanging ornaments on the tree.
It reminded me of last weekend when Ezra and I had put up the tree in his apartment. I wouldn’t admit it to my brothers, but since that night, I’d enjoyed being at Ezra’s much more than my own place. It was warm and cozy, and it felt like us. Even though the tree and decorations were something I did for him, I liked looking around and remembering how we’d worked together to bring his stale apartment to life.
“As long as I’ve known you, you’ve never begged anyone to be with you. If anything, you push people away as soon as they want to get close.” When I caught Blake glaring at Danny, I shook my head. If Danny wanted to talk about this, we’d talk. I wasn’t hiding anything. “And since when are you into men?”
“Since Ezra,” I said flatly with a shrug. “It’s nothing I ever thought about, really. And I’m still not sure what it makes me because I’m not into all guys, but he’s something special.”
“Huh.” Danny turned away from the tree as I explained my attraction to Ezra.
Fuck, I missed him. I wanted him here with me because today was all about family time, and I was quickly coming to see him as that. He belonged with me. Instead, he was at the bakery alongside Shiloh, Lacey, and their newest hire, trying to get ahead on the baking for this weekend. Not only were we demanding a lot out of their little kitchen, but Shiloh had also taken three other orders for private parties since word got out about Ezra’s culinary genius.
“So do you suppose you’re demi or pan or what?” Danny pushed when there was a lull in the conversation.
“How in the fuck should I know?” I bit back. I’d never been a fan of people thinking everyone needed to wear some sort of label on their chest announcing their sexuality if they weren’t straight. “The important thing is I’m not running away from how Ezra makes me feel. That should tell you something about him.”
“It does,” Blake agreed. He took Danny by the hand, leading him onto the front porch. I really hoped he wasn’t about to lecture my brother about his curiosity. Danny had always been the one who wanted to know what was going on in detail. I was used to his questions, even if I wasn’t completely comfortable answering questions about my sexuality.
A few minutes later, they returned, Anson and Kevin right behind them. Together, and Kevin was holding Bart’s leash. “Seriously, did you have to bring the menace with you?”
“I tried leaving him home, but he swore it’s his party,” Kevin responded without missing a beat. I still wasn’t sure what in the fuck was going on between them, but Kevin had secured his place in my heart with his quick wit and ability to tease my brother. He reached down to scratch my brother’s dog’s head. “As for Bart, he’s been doing a lot better recently. I convinced Anson to bring him out for some people time. I think that’s a big part of his problem.”
“His problem is Anson’s never bothered training the dog,” Blake muttered under his breath. “I swear I’m getting him a gift certificate for behavior training for Christmas.”
“The dog or my brother?” Danny asked, all too happy to play along.
“Both.” We all chuckled at Blake’s immediate response.
As the workday ended, more people showed up to help us decorate for the party. I pulled up the drawing Ezra had sent over to make sure we had enough room for all the food my brother had insisted I order. There was no way we weren’t all going home with plastic containers of leftovers, but there were worse fates than living off Ezra’s cooking.
“Where are we putting the gingerbread display?” Danny asked. He picked up the first structure, carefully carrying it to me. I checked Ezra’s plans and pointed to the deep window sills. “They won’t get too warm being over the radiators?”
“I’m assuming not. And if they do, we’ll move them.” I showed him the plan. “We’re putting ours in the windows first, and then we’ll fill it in with any that are donated on Saturday morning.”
“Who’s working the party?” Billy asked. “I don’t feel right asking Ezra to work when he should be at your side.”
I didn’t either, but none of us had thought that far ahead when I’d first met with him. If he wound up working during the party, I’d have to find a way to make it up to him after.
