Sort of like someone else you know. My brain was a stupid place to be. I couldn’t even stop my dopey smile as I thought about Ezra. The two of them were so damn similar. I studied her features when I realized the commonalities weren’t only in their personalities. I wracked my brain, trying to remember her last name. For that matter, it dawned on me her last name wouldn’t do me a damned bit of good when I didn’t know Ezra’s.
She probably thought I was a buffoon by the time she handed me my drinks. I hadn’t even responded to her attempt at small talk. Then again, that could be chalked up to the early hour and my lack of caffeine. “Thanks, Mara.”
“Not a problem at all.” I expected that to be the last of our interaction, but she rounded the end of the counter, joining me at the little bar against the wall where she kept the milk and sugar. “So, I know this might not be my place, but I can’t keep my mouth shut.”
“Welcome to small-town life,” I deadpanned. No one around here could keep to themselves. Sometimes, I wondered what it would be like moving to a city where a man could be anonymous. I replaced the lid on my coffee and turned to her as I took the first blessed sip. “Sorry, what’s up?”
“That cocoa…it’s for Ezra, right?” she kept her gaze on the cups in my hands, but that didn’t mean she was some shy wallflower. She squared her shoulders and finally looked directly into my eyes.
“Yeah, it’s for him,” I confirmed. “But how did you know that?”
“He’s my cousin, and he might have talked to me earlier this week about you,” she explained. “It doesn’t take a genius to put two and two together and come up with four. Anyway, I just want you to know what a special guy he is. He’s had a rough go of it, even though he comes from one of those families that looks totally normal from the outside.”
I wasn’t sure if I wanted to press her for more information or run out before she could share any dark family secrets with me. If Ezra wanted me to know about his upbringing, he’d tell me. Then again, maybe he wouldn’t because he didn’t want to admit why a family like mine was something he wished he had.
Fuck. It was so much easier to not give a shit and hide out in my apartment when I wasn’t working.
But if Ezra was hurting, I wanted to be the one to make it better for him.
“Yeah, he’s a good egg.” That was one of the dumbest things I could have said in response. In my defense, I was reeling from the revelation that he’d talked to her about me, apparently about something that made her feel the need to warn me about him. I knew he had a huge, tender heart, but this was something more than that.
Fuck. My gut clenched when I realized she was friends with a girl I’d dated a little over a year ago. Nothing had come from our brief fling because I couldn’t see myself settling down with her, and to be honest, I couldn’t even remember her name at this point.
Mara probably thought I was some sort of man-whore, looking to stick my dick in any willing hole. But that wasn’t at all who I was. Not anymore.
But when had that changed?
I knew exactly when everything had tipped on its side. It was the day I walked into Shiloh’s and was captivated by this slightly awkward, shy little baker. And since then, he’d wormed his way into my brain and was quickly working his way into my heart.
Fuck. Was I falling for someone? For a guy?
If I wanted any chance of things working out with Ezra, I needed people like Mara to hold me accountable. I’d spent so long as the good-time guy who went out and got some when I felt the need but otherwise kept to myself. I didn’t want to be that guy anymore.
“Listen, you don’t have to tell me what a great guy he is,” I reassured her. I glanced around to see who might overhear. Not that it mattered, but I still didn’t want my shit laid out for the whole town to hear about before I could even make it out to Mom’s. “I know he’s…well, he told me about his lack of dating history.”
“So you can see why I’d be concerned about him hanging out with someone like you all of a sudden?” She tipped her head to the side. “Look, you’re not a bad guy, but I know more than you probably realize about your exploits. If this is just some way for you to explore a new way to get off, I’m begging you to walk away.”
“It’s not,” I promised. God, it was something I couldn’t even explain to her. If it was about sex, we could have done that the night he invited me to his place for dinner. But I’d worried about that fucking kiss to his forehead because I valued him enough that I didn’t want him feeling pressured into anything he wasn’t ready for. “I’m not sure what the fuck it is, but it’s not an experiment or a change of pace or anything like that. I really like him, Mara. As soon as you get done threatening to lop off my dick or whatever you’re thinking of if I hurt him, I’m picking him up so we can go out to my mom and dad’s house for the day. That should tell you something.”
Her eyes widened comically, and she whistled through her teeth. “Shit. I didn’t know it was that level of serious.”
“It’s not,” I corrected her. “But I think I want it to be. I just have to figure out what that looks like for me. For us. But you have my word. I’d rather castrate myself than hurt him.”
Mara threw her head back and cackled, drawing the attention of the customers trying to enjoy their morning coffee. “Sorry, but that’s one hell of a visual. I’m glad to hear it. Now, before you take off, swing back up by the register and tell River I said you need to get an apple turnover, warmed up. He might spend a lot of time in the kitchen, but that doesn’t mean my cousin bakes for himself. It’ll earn you a brownie point or two.”
“Thanks, Mara.” I nearly hugged her before I realized that would have been wildly inappropriate. She wasn’t a close friend or anything like that.
I did as she suggested and speed-walked back to my truck. Her lecture, while sweet, had put me even farther behind schedule.
When I got to Ezra’s complex, he was standing on the front stoop, a scarf wrapped around his neck and his hands stuffed deep into his pockets. As soon as he spotted me, he made his way down the walk.
I leaned over the console and pushed his door open. “Sorry I’m late. The line at the coffee shop was brutal.” I didn’t want to tell him about my conversation with Mara. From the bits and pieces I’d gathered, there was a history of people thinking they needed to shield Ezra from the pains of the world. I doubted he’d think his cousin’s meddling was as sweet as I had.
I didn’t even think twice before I acted. As soon as Ezra’s ass landed on the preheated leather seat, I curled my hand around the back of his neck and pulled him to me. I stopped myself, giving him a chance to pull away. When he didn’t retreat, I closed the distance between us and my lips pressed to his, gently at first. When his fingers carded through my freshly groomed beard, I groaned, opening my mouth and pressing my tongue to the seam of his lips.
He let me take the lead, and I was all about showing him what it felt like to be kissed by a man. My own insecurities took a backseat to my needs. I deepened the kiss, scooting as close as the fucking console would allow me. Ezra’s other hand fisted the front of my shirt, holding on for dear life. I understood that feeling all too well. I wanted this moment to last forever.
But nothing that good could last. Eventually, the need for oxygen overrode my need for him, and I broke the kiss. “Good morning, sweetheart.”
