“So do you.” Billy’s entire body sagged against mine. He buried his face in my neck. “I’m sorry I kept you up tonight. I should have just gone home.”
“No, you shouldn’t have,” I protested. “The last thing you need right now is to be left alone to climb deeper into your own head. Besides, I’m pretty sure Henry won’t speak to me if he doesn’t get to see you in the morning. He missed you at pick-up today.”
“Shit. I didn’t even think…”
I pressed my fingers to his lips. “It’s okay, really. He needs to realize that you’re not always at our beck and call.”
Having time of my own to think tonight, I’d realized it probably wasn’t healthy for Henry to be so attached to Billy. They’d always been close, but today had shown me they might as well be glued at the hip at this point. If things between Billy and me collapsed, Henry would be buried in the rubble, and that wasn’t fair to him.
“I suppose you’re right.” Billy sighed as he scrubbed a hand down his face. “Fuck. I’m beat.”
“Which is why I’m going to get you into bed. Coffee’s already set up and I packed our lunches tonight. There’s nothing left to do except sleep.” I loved how Billy took care of us, and I hoped he realized how I appreciated the ways he’d gotten our routines in order. I’d been hopeful I wouldn’t have to get Henry ready on my own in the morning, but only because I wanted Billy there beside me. I no longer stressed about getting everything ready and out the door so I could be in the office on time.
“Good deal,” Billy mumbled through his yawn. He flopped onto the side of the bed.
I winced as I dropped to my knees and started untying Billy’s boots. My knees were too old for sitting like this, yet my dick liked being on the floor at my boyfriend’s feet. I carefully rolled his socks past his ankles and pulled them off before helping him out of his jeans. Another night, it would be fun to do this and then worship his body. For tonight, I settled for briefly resting my head against his thigh after stripping him down to his boxer briefs.
“Thanks, babe.” My heart skipped a beat every time he called me any sort of pet name, which was strange because nicknames usually annoyed the hell out of me. From the slur in his words, it seemed he was already mostly asleep. He stretched out and rolled onto his side while I stripped then pulled me into his arms. It wasn’t long at all before both of us were asleep.
Neither of us went into work the next morning. When I got home from running Henry to daycare, Billy leaned against the counter in the kitchen, talking animatedly on his phone. I tried tuning out what he was saying as soon as I heard James’s name. If he wanted me to know what was going on, he’d tell me. Otherwise, it was none of my business.
A while later, he brought breakfast to me in the living room. I was working on the proposal that Mayor Thompson had tasked me with, and the words seemed to blur together the longer I stared at the screen. “Fuck, I hate this.”
“What’s going on?” My shoulders sagged as soon as Billy started massaging the tight knots.
“Crap. Did I say that out loud?” I shouldn’t even be working on this part of the plan in Billy’s presence. While I’d argue until I was blue in the face, there was no denying the conflict of interest if I allowed him to help me in any way. Instead of having a conversation I shouldn’t, I closed my laptop, hoping that would be the end of the conversation. I’d known Billy long enough to understand I wasn’t that lucky.
“You did. Now, what has you looking like you swallowed a lemon and your shoulders hitched up around your ears?” Billy climbed over the back of the couch and swung his legs to either side of my body.
“As much as I appreciate you wanting to help, I really can’t talk about this particular problem.” Honesty was the best policy, and I knew Billy would respect the boundaries that came with our jobs.
Billy grabbed me by the shoulders and turned my body. “If it has something to do with the mayor being a colossal bag of dicks about funding for the House, I don’t want you taking that on your shoulders. You hear me?”
“Yeah, but—”
He covered my mouth with his hand. “There are no buts. He’s been a douche since he took office. We knew it was going to be a rough patch because of his bullshit and him trying to keep his church buddies happy. We’ll be okay no matter what happens.”
“But you shouldn’t have to be,” I protested. “And this isn’t city budget money. It’s part of the development plan because Harmony House deserves to be a part of anything we do to help make improvements. Look at last night. What would have happened if you weren’t there for James? Just because you started out as a place for LGBTQ kids doesn’t mean they should be able to turn their backs on everything else you do.”
“Sweetheart, you’re getting yourself worked up.” He pressed a hand over my heart, pressing until I leaned back, resting my head against his shoulder. “I love you for being so upset on our behalf, but we’re going to be okay. And next year, you can bet we’ll do everything we can to make sure he doesn’t get to keep his office.”
“You…” I couldn’t even say the word. I turned my head quick enough I felt something catch. His eyes widened comically, realizing what he’d just blurted out. I curled my fingers around his. “Don’t freak. I know it was just a turn of phrase.”
“No, that’s not it at all.” Without letting me go, Billy twisted me around to face him. “That wasn’t how I wanted to tell you for the first time, but I love you, Michael. The feelings might have even been there when we were younger but I didn’t realize it at the time. And then…”
“And then I started seeing your little brother, freaked out your entire family because he couldn’t hide his submissive streak, and later broke his heart to the point he ran away from town because it was easier than asking him how he felt about kids?” That pretty much summed up the rise and fall of my relationship with Danny.
Billy tightened his arms around my back. “I wasn’t going to put it that way, but yeah, pretty much. Now, I’m realizing those were barricades along the easy road. If we’d fallen into bed when we were younger, we’d have fucked up everything.”
I chuckled because he wasn’t wrong.
“But now, we’re older and hopefully wiser, and I know this is the real deal. I don’t want to fuck things up with you, sweetheart.” My knees turned to jelly when he pushed the hair away from my face and kissed the center of my forehead. “I love you. You don’t have to say it back, but this is me telling you in a slightly more romantic way that you’re stuck with me as long as you’ll have me.”
“Then you’d better start thinking about how we’re going to tell your family we’re together.” Fuck. We needed to tell Danny before anyone else. Even though he was now happily married, he deserved better than hearing it at the same time as the rest of the family.
11
BILLY
