Around ten o’clock, my phone lit up with a call from Billy. I answered immediately.
“Hey, is everything alright?” I asked, my voice laced with concern.
“Yeah, things are okay now. It was just… a really long day.” Billy sounded exhausted. “James came to Harmony House today after a big fight with his family. We had to find a safe place for him to stay. It took all evening to sort everything out.”
My heart went out to James and to Billy. “Is he okay now?”
“Yes, he’s safe. That’s what matters,” Billy responded. “There’s a lot of work to be done, but for tonight he’ll be able to sleep in a bed where he doesn’t have to worry about being screamed at. That’s the important thing.”
I could hear the tiredness in his voice. “Are you going home now?”
I hated how needy I sounded. It was almost bedtime and I wasn’t looking forward to the other half of the bed being empty all night. And even if it made me a selfish prick, I wanted my Billy cuddles.
There was a pause on the other end of the line, then Billy said softly, “Do you want me come over? I was thinking I might just go home tonight. I’m not going to be the best company.”
“Then you definitely need to come here. I don’t want you sitting home alone thinking about everything that happened today.” I didn’t even want to know how bad things got for him to sound as shattered as he did. “Let me take care of you for a change.”
“Okay. I’ll be there in a few.”
“Have you eaten?” I was already off the couch and on my way to the microwave. I pulled out the plate I’d made up for him when I served dinner for Henry and me.
“I’m not sure I can eat right now. My gut’s all messed up.”
“You need to eat a little bit. I’ll have dinner ready when you get here.”
“Thanks. You’re too good to me.”
“No, I’m just trying to help you the way you always help me,” I corrected him.
We ended the call, and I sat at the kitchen table waiting for him. The only light came from over the sink, but tonight felt like one of those times it would be easier to get through without the harsh overhead lights.
About fifteen minutes later, I heard the soft click of the front door opening. My heart beat a little faster as Billy shuffled into the kitchen. His shoulders were slumped, and his eyes were red and weary. His normally unkempt but lively hair was flat, as though the weight of the day had pressed down on him.
I stood up from the table and approached him slowly. He looked like he needed a hug, but also like he might shatter from the contact. I settled for placing a gentle hand on his arm.
“Hey,” I whispered.
Billy just nodded, his eyes never quite meeting mine. He looked like a lost child, and my heart ached for him.
I gestured for him to sit at the kitchen table, and he complied silently. I set the plate of food I had warmed up for him on the table and sat down next to him. He picked up the fork and pushed the food around but didn’t eat a bite.
I wanted to demand he eat something but didn’t know how he’d react.
“You don’t have to talk about it, but I'm here if you want to,” I said gently. I placed what I hoped was a comforting hand on his arm, gently sliding my thumb back and forth across his skin.
He glanced at the plate, then back at me. “Thank you,” he murmured, his voice a near whisper. He shivered, and goosebumps appeared on his arms.
He picked at the food, eating only a few bites, but I didn't press. Instead, I got up and grabbed a blanket from the living room. When I came back, I draped it over his shoulders. He gave me a half smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes but put his arm around me as I sat back down.
We didn’t speak. The silence between us was heavy but not wholly uncomfortable. We both knew that this was not a night for words, but for presence.
“I just don’t understand,” he muttered, more to himself than to me. “No matter how long I do this, I’ll never understand how some families can be so cold.”
“That’s because you were lucky to grow up with Eleanor and Randall,” I pointed out. “One of you boys could have murdered someone, and they would have hugged you and cried even as they turned you in to the police. The last thing you would have heard before you were read your rights would be them telling you how much they loved you no matter what.”
Billy let out a huff of laughter, and the corner of his mouth tipped up in the faintest hint of a smile. “Yeah, probably. I just… I’m not stupid. I know there are dickbag parents out there, but it never ceases to amaze me how cruel they can be to their own flesh and blood.”
“Okay, that’s enough of that.” I pushed back from the table and grabbed Billy’s hand. “We could sit here all night trying to figure out why the bigots of the world are the way they are but all that’s gonna get us is a long, miserable day tomorrow. You need to sleep.”
