“Am I that transparent?”
“It doesn’t take a genius to figure out,” Sam teased. “I know family dynamics can be tough to navigate. Are they upset that you’re living so far away?”
“Yeah, but it’s not that. They get why I had to venture out on my own.” A lump formed in my throat and I choked out a bitter laugh. “What sucks is I’m not so sure I made the right decision. As much as I love Blake, I wonder what would have happened if I’d stayed there.”
Neither of us talked as we hefted cases of beer and liquor to the front. I wasn’t ripped or anything, but Sam put me to shame. He carried nearly twice my load and wasn’t breaking a sweat.
“Only you can decide where you’re supposed to be,” Sam pointed out as he started rotating stock in the beer coolers. “Obviously, I don’t know your family dynamics but I don’t think I could be far enough from my family that I couldn’t visit on the weekends. They drive me crazy, but I like knowing I’m just far enough away they’re not in my business but close enough I can go see them when I miss them.”
That was exactly the problem. I didn’t want to be under the Harmony Grove microscope, but it sucked thinking of the hundreds of dollars I had to pay and lost hours at work if I wanted to visit them. My grandparents weren’t getting any younger, and since they’d hugged me goodbye, I couldn’t help but worry if I’d get to see them again. Hell, my parents weren’t old, but that didn’t mean they couldn’t have an undiagnosed health condition.
But was that a good reason to abandon the life I’d started building here?
“Close your eyes for a minute.” Sam took the bottles out of my hands and stashed them under the back bar. It was a ridiculous exercise, but I knew damn well Sam wouldn’t give up until he proved his point.
I crossed my arms over my chest and leaned back. As soon as my eyes drifted shut, my breathing slowed. It was an involuntary response, and I was never ready for the instant feeling of calm these silly exercises of Sam’s gave me.
“Now, I want you to consider your life. When you look into the future, what do you see?” As he guided me through this visualization exercise, he continued working. I was vaguely aware of the clang of bottles knocking into one another. At one point, he bumped into me as he stretched to put something on the top shelf. “Do you really see yourself working here five years from now? Will it be enough for you to fly home once or twice a year once your brothers start having kids?”
I scoffed at the thought. Ansel was the only straight brother in the bunch, and the idea of him having a family of his own wasn’t something I could imagine, no matter how wide open my mind was. He was too much of an overgrown man-child himself.
“Humor me, Danny. Will it be enough for you to see them when you can get time off and afford to fly home?”
“No, it won’t.” The pit in my stomach filled with concrete. “But I don’t want to ask Blake to give up his life for me, either. That’s not fair to him.”
“That’s not what I asked.” I could practically feel Sam glaring at me. “Now, where do you see yourself? Is there a place for you in that little Hallmark town you came from?”
“Yeah, I think there is.” I’d spent every minute I could spare, scribbling down notes about how to help save the youth center. I wanted to be a part of the change in Harmony Grove, but I couldn’t do that from here. My brother was doing everything he could, but if there were developers with money looking to move in, someone needed to fight against seeing the historic buildings torn down in favor of glass-front shops and apartments. Without the old-time charm, my hometown didn’t have anything to lure in new residents to keep it alive.
“Damn, I wish I knew what you’re thinking about. The dopey look on your face is a lot like they teased me for when I was working my way through college and dreamed up this place,” Sam mused. “That’s passion right there. You need to grab on and not give up.”
“But what about Blake?”
It's not going to mean you have to choose between me and them. You deserve to have it all.
This is what he was talking about. It wasn’t just my family and someone to fuck me until I passed out, it was the whole package. God, I was being an idiot.
“Maybe you’re right,” I conceded. “But I’m not going to make any decisions without talking to Blake first. And I’ll have to figure out what to do about my apartment. I’m sure I could find a way to get out of my lease, but I don’t want the hassle. And I don’t want you to be short-staffed here, either.”
Justice pulled the stools off the bar slowly, setting them on the ground without making a sound. It was almost like he was eavesdropping. The corner of my upper lip lifted, not sure I wanted to work with him if he was nosy as hell. But that wasn’t fair. If it had been anyone else, they’d have quit working to interject their two cents about my life choices. Still, I wasn’t going to say anything I didn’t want getting spread around when he was in earshot.
“You need to quit worrying about everyone else and start thinking about yourself for a change,” Sam scolded me. “Blake’s so far in love with you, he’d follow you to a deserted island if you said that was where you needed to be. He’d be whiny as hell without his computers, but he’d do it for you. And we’ll be fine. It’ll suck to say goodbye, but that’s because I like keeping my friends close.”
I was absolutely not going to get weepy about him considering me a friend. For the longest time, I’d considered myself the outsider. All it took was an invite to a mini orgy for me to lowering my defenses. And now, I had a life I never could have dreamed of.
Maybe having it all wasn’t as far out of my grasp as I tried convincing myself it was.
* * *
Blake came in around nine,dressed in a pair of crisply pressed slacks and a white button-down shirt. My dick stood at attention as I remembered the scene he’d explained he’d be taking part in tonight. This was his first “official” scene while I was working and both of us were apprehensive.
His eyes shone brightly when he noticed me, flashing a million-watt smile that was only for me. The more I watched him, the more I picked up on how he’d always treated me differently than anyone else at the club. He strode confidently across the bar before sliding onto his stool. Last weekend, I’d overheard a few of the Dom’s giving him shit, telling him they were going to buy a sign to hang in front of his place at the bar so no one sat there when he wasn’t around.
“Hey, sweetheart,” Blake greeted me as I grabbed a bottle of water out of the cooler. Out of habit, I reached for two before remembering that he held very limited responsibility when he played now. The sub was his Dom’s responsibility, and Blake promised he would come out to check on me when things were done. I told him he didn’t have to, but he insisted I was his only concern. “Are you still okay with this?”
“Yes, Sir.” I folded my arms behind my back and spread my legs. The weight of my cage served as a silent reminder that he’d promised to take care of my needs later tonight. “Are you having second thoughts? I don’t want you thinking about me when you should be helping them.”
I’d seen the way the boy that Blake was helping tonight looked at him every time he visited me. The guy was respectful of our relationship, but it was obvious he’d heard about Blake’s reputation. In a perverse way, I wanted every sub who frequented DeSires to get a chance to play with Blake. I wanted everyone to know how skilled he was at everything he did while mourning the fact I was the boy he’d be taking home at the end of the night. No one but me knew what it felt like to have his cum dripping out of my hole with every post-orgasmic spasm.
