Blake stood on the bottom rung of the stool and leaned over the bar, cupping my cheek in his hand. “You never cease to amaze me, Danny. I thought I’d have to walk away from this part of my life if I met a boy I wanted to keep as my own, and here you are, trying to take care of me.”
“I thought that’s what we were supposed to do for one another.” I glanced down the bar to make sure Colin didn’t need help, then spotted Justice rolling a cart of dirty linens into the back room. He was quiet, but not a bad guy. Part of me wished I’d be here long enough to see him come out of his shell. I hopped over the end of the bar, stumbling when I biffed the landing.
Blake was there to catch me before I fell. I collapsed into his embrace, deeply inhaling the sharp scent of his cologne.
“Colin, I’m going to take my break,” I called out, waiting until he waved before pulling Blake into the back room. I pushed him onto the couch and straddled his legs, cupping his face in my hands. “No matter how often I submit to you, we’re still equals. And that means I check in to make sure you’re okay, too.”
Dammit, Blake smelling good with just a bit of scruff and that crisp white button-down shirt drove me crazy. It reminded me of the day he’d taken me into the medical room for my physical. The man currently holding me was nothing like the guy I’d lusted after from a distance in the past.
In fact, he was downright vanilla by comparison. My chest tightened at this revelation. I honestly hadn’t thought about how tame our sex was compared to what I’d heard about him doing. Now, it was consuming me. I rested my chin on the top of Blake’s head, wondering if I should ask him about it. I decided against it because I didn’t want to do anything to pull him out of the headspace he needed to be in to play.
“Hey, what’s going on up there?” Blake curled his fingers around my biceps, pushing me back far enough that he could look up at me. “If you’re not comfortable, tell me. I can let them know it’s not going to work out.”
“I told you I’m fine with you playing with other couples as long as you’re not having sex with them.” I bristled, wondering if I sounded as petulant as I felt. To my own ears, it sounded like I was saying one thing while hoping he’d understand I wasn’t okay, but that truly wasn’t the case. I trusted him.
At the end of the night, he’d be the one sitting at the end of the bar, waiting for me to finish closing up so we could go home. We’d both shower before falling into bed together, and he’d promised he’d let me out of the cage tonight so he could show me just how much he loved me.
But the jealous, petty corner of my brain wished he’d play with me the way he did with other people.
“If you lie to me, you’re going to be in the cage for a week,” he warned, his voice cold and gravelly. “Now, I’ll give you one more chance to tell me what’s bothering you. If it’s not my arrangement for the night, tell me so at least I know where you’re at.”
“Why don’t we play on members-only night?” I steadied myself by placing my hands against his chest. His heart beat strong and steady under my palm. My eyes drifted shut and focused on that rhythmic beating as I sucked in a deep breath and let it out slowly. “I though you liked to play hard. That’s what everyone said about you. And while there are things that we do together, it’s nothing like I imagined it would be.”
Blake slid his hands down my torso and steadied my hips. “Have you considered that I was playing the way I did because it was a way for me to feel without the level of intimacy and vulnerability you bring out of me? I worked damned hard to build up walls around myself, and part of that was by taking part in activities that allowed me to get off without risking my heart. I was never fully engaged with my casual partners the way I am when we’re together. And the thought of a clinical scene with you feels wrong to me.”
I chuckled at the turn of phrase. Blake scowled playfully, and I bit my bottom lip to keep from breaking down in a fit of giggles. “Sorry, but that was funny if you think about it.”
“Do you want me to be clinical with you?” Blake’s hand slid over the front of my jeans. “Because I’m sure that can be arranged. All you have to do is tell me what you want and I’ll reserve the room the entire night next month.”
“Maybe?” I buried my face in the crook of Blake’s neck. Asking for what I wanted was something I’d likely always struggle with. I felt like my chest was being ripped apart as I considered how much to divulge. But this was Blake. He was my sanctuary, and he’d never mock me for admitting my fears. “What happens if you get bored? I can’t use the playrooms all the time because of my schedule, and that’s something you enjoy.”
“You’re right, it is.” When I averted my gaze, Blake gripped my chin hard enough it almost hurt, forcing me to look at him. “But do you know what I like even more? Spending time with you. Whether that’s sitting here with you while you take a break from work, enjoying a night out, or burying my cock so deep inside of you it feels like we’re one entity. You are my drug of choice now. I don’t worry about getting hurt by you, because you’d rather throw yourself in traffic than purposely damage anyone.”
I worried my bottom lip as I considered the gravity of his words. It wasn’t a proposal or anything, but I was a fool to keep worrying about whether he was going to tire of me and leave. Every single day, he showed me how invested he was in our relationship.
It was time for me to surrender the last of my doubts. My chest felt lighter as I sucked in a full breath for the first time in a long time. I sat up straight with my shoulders squared. I carded my fingers through his hair as I bent down to kiss him. I stopped short, pressing my forehead to his. “I love you, Blake. I’m sorry if my insecurity still screws things up sometimes.”
“You don’t need to apologize to me, sweetheart. I know things haven’t always been easy for you.” He moved his hand to the back of my neck, digging his fingers into my flesh just enough it was impossible to forget who I belonged to. “I love you more than I’ve ever loved anyone. I’ll keep fighting for you until you realize you’re not going to push me away.”
The alarm went off on my phone, signaling the end of my break. As much as I wished we could stay here all night—or head home early to get a head start on his promise to make me come so many times I was begging him for sleep—both of us had places to be. I eased myself off Blake’s lap, squirming around to get my dick more comfortable, even though I was pretty sure that was going to be impossible.
Blake held me close as we walked down the darkened hallway. Neither of us said a word, because there was nothing else left to say. While his duty for the night wasn’t a job, so to speak, it was something that was important to him.
As the music grew louder, Blake stopped me, pressing me against the wall. Even though I couldn’t get hard, there was no mistaking his arousal as he rutted against my thigh. He leaned in close, plastering his body to mine. Before he spoke, he clamped his teeth onto my earlobe hard enough I let out a pained whimper as my back arched away from the wall. “It wasn’t very nice of you to get me worked up before I have to be professional. We might have to consider a punishment for this indiscretion later.”
“Whatever you feel I deserve,” I sighed. “I’m yours, Sir. Always. And I promise I won’t keep things from you anymore.”
“You’re right. You are mine. I never imagined those nights spent trying to capture your attention would lead to this, but I can’t wait to see where the future takes us.” He slid a hand to the nape of my neck, his thumb caressing my jaw as he kissed me more tenderly than ever before.
It took me a moment to catch my breath when he broke the kiss. He’d rendered me speechless. My knees felt weak as I allowed the wall to support me as he walked away. I knew where the future was headed and it was time I asked him to leap with me.
Epilogue
Blake
Three months later
This might have beenthe craziest thing I’d ever done in my life. Until Danny, I was content to stay close enough to my family to visit when it was required, but far enough away to have my freedom. I had a mundane job in a field I knew would always be in demand, and a townhome I’d purchased when it was a buyer’s market.
