Danny was quiet once we were in the car. The absence of my playful brat was disturbing. As much as I tried chalking it up to him being exhausted from the trip and his early flight home, we didn’t make it into Annandale before the silence grated on me.
“Hey, is everything okay?” He tensed when I reached for his hand but didn’t pull away. Bile rose in my chest when he wouldn’t look at me. There was nothing in the passing landscape that was so enthralling it would have his undivided attention. “Talk to me, Danny. If something’s upsetting you, I can’t help you fix it until I know what’s broken.”
He didn’t respond. I kept my hand over his, gently tracing my thumb over the side of his. The tension between us grew with every passing mile until I wasn’t sure I’d be able to restrain myself much longer. When he finally spoke, it was so quietly, I barely registered that he’d said a word. “Leaving was harder than I expected it to me.”
I gave his fingers a squeeze. Danny swiped at his face, turning away to hide his tears from me. “Before, it was easy. I was hurt and thought the only way I could be happy was if I left Harmony Grove. But knowing how much it hurt my mom when they dropped me off at the airport today, I can’t help but wonder if I made a mistake. I just didn’t think it was going to be that fucking hard.”
He sniffled and wiped his tears again, this time a bit more forcefully. I looked ahead for a place to pull over so I could console him. I’d never been close to my family, but since they were in the same city as me, I wasn’t sure how it would affect me if I was nearly a thousand miles away.
“Does that make me a horrible boyfriend to say?” Danny curled in on himself and tried pulling away from me.
“No, baby. I think that makes you human,” I assured him. “Part of why it was so easy to fall in love with you is your huge heart. You were trying to shield yourself from getting hurt again, but you still looked out for everyone around you. I wish there was something I could do to take away your pain.”
“I’ll be okay.” He sniffled again. “And maybe, if you’re okay with it, we can go visit them together sometime. They were upset you weren’t with me for this trip, but they understood why it would have been weird.”
“You tell me when you want to go and I’ll buy our tickets,” I promised him. “Hell, if you told me there was no way you could stay away from your family now that you know what you’re missing out on, I’d find a way to make it work.”
“You don’t mean that,” he protested.
“Try me. Tell me you hated flying back here and I’ll put in my notice tomorrow.” Until this moment, I’d never considered uprooting my life, especially for a man. Annandale had always been home to me, but now, home was wherever Danny was. “I love you, Danny. I can get another job, but there will never be another you. And I can’t stand the thought of you living half a life here when you could be whole somewhere else.”
“But you can’t upend your life for me,” he protested. “We haven't been together long enough and you have a life here.”
“True as that may be, I’m doing my damnedest to build a life with you. Sometimes, that means finding a middle ground.” Every night when we talked, he animatedly told stories about his brothers in such detail, I could almost picture the four of them sitting around the bonfire, and I wished I was with them. When he told me about the anniversary party, I longed to meet the grandparents who obviously meant so much to him.
And let’s not forget the baked-goods torture. If we relocated, my first task would be finding a gym so I didn’t gain twenty pounds from sampling everything his mom created.
“Moving cross-country for my sake isn’t much of a compromise. What about your family? The friends you have here? And what if there isn't a place where you can mentor new couples on how to play responsibly?”
If I didn't know better, I'd think Danny was trying to find reasons why the two of us creating a fresh start wouldn't work. Yes, I enjoyed the volunteer work I did at the club, and Jack would be disappointed if I wasn't able to continue mentoring new kinksters but he'd understand. Hell, if he knew we were having this conversation, he’d probably offer to help me find movers and someone to buy my townhouse.
It hurt my heart to realize Danny didn't understand what it meant to have somebody who was willing to take a leap of faith to make sure he was happy. I promised myself then and there that I would do everything possible to show Danny that he was the center of my universe. Given the choice between seeing him as happy and carefree as he’d sounded over the past week or engaging in scenes with random strangers, there was really no choice to be made.
“All of that is stuff we can discuss when the time comes,” I told him. “I just wanted you to know that if, at any time, you realize you need to be closer to your family, it's not going to mean you have to choose between me and them. You deserve to have it all.”
Danny pulled his knees up to his chest and wrapped his arms tightly around his legs. His body heaved with emotion he could no longer contain. I pulled over to the curb, put the car in park, unbuckling before wrapping my arms around him.
“I didn't want to upset you, baby,” I whispered.
“You didn’t. I just… How is it that you keep finding ways to be absolutely perfect?” He turned so his cheek rested on his knee. “Part of me feels like this is home now, because it’s where I found myself…and you.”
“But you miss your family,” I finished, knowing he was too far gone to voice his feelings. He nodded; his face buried against my chest. “That’s nothing to feel bad about, baby. It’s normal. From the sounds of it, you needed to see them again just as much as you needed to spread your wings and fly.”
“But I have a job. And an apartment. I can’t just run away from my responsibilities.”
“This isn’t the right time to make a decision,” I pointed out to him. I knew emotions would be running high. I’d never felt that longing for my own family, but that was because we’d never been close. My parents were too focused on their careers to create an idyllic family unit. But I understood how it could be hard for others. “It’s just something to keep in the back of your mind. And if you decide you want to move, we’ll plan things enough that no one’s left in a lurch.”
That seemed to be enough to settle Danny. Before I pulled off the freeway, he was sound asleep in the passenger seat. I cupped his cheek and he made the most adorable little noise as he rolled closer to my touch. Danny with his guard down was one of the sexiest things out there.
He didn’t wake when I pulled off to grab our dinner. When I parked in front of the townhouse, he was softly snoring. I let my boy sleep while I carried the food and his suitcase inside so he wouldn’t insist on helping me. Tonight, I wanted him focused on nothing other than relaxing, as that was something he didn’t do nearly enough.
“Hey, sleepyhead. It’s time to wake up,” I whispered as I crouched beside his open door. He was out like a light. I leaned over him and unfastened his seatbelt. “Danny, we’re home. It’s time to wake up.”
Danny nearly rolled out of the car when he draped his arms over my shoulders. “I missed you a lot.”
I laughed and kissed the side of his head. “I missed you too, more than you’d believe. A week apart is too long.”
I glanced around the parking lot to see if anyone was outside. After confirming we were alone, I scooped him into my arms and carried him inside. The way he clung to me, burying his face in the crook of my neck, was a testament to how much he’d grown over the past few months. Gone was the jaded, broken boy, and in his place was a confident man who gave me the greatest gift ever: his submission.
