The front door opened and closed. Hunter rushed up the stairs, as though he was trying to get in and out undetected. Not happening. Now that he was here, weweregoing to talk and I had to believe I’d get through to him. “That kid scares me sometimes. It’s like he knew we were talking about him and he came home before you coordinated a phone tree and a search party.”
“I’m not that bad,” she scoffed.
“Yeah, you kind of are, Bella,” I teased. “But that’s because you’re a good mom. I’ll call you back and let you know how it goes.”
“Good luck, Lincoln. I think you’re going to need it.”
“Thanks.”
I hung up the phone and waited at the bottom of the stairs to see if Hunter would try to sneak back out. No words were exchanged when he sulked down the steps, easing past me so he could scavenge through the fridge.
I was frozen in place, trying to figure out what I could say that would lead to a productive talk rather than a screaming match or him leaving again. “Just say what’s on your mind, Pops.”
Hunter pulled out some leftover Chinese from last night and started fixing himself a plate. Then, he started unloading the dishwasher, trying to keep himself busy so he wouldn’t have to look at me. Like hecouldn’tlook at me. That stung, but I had it coming. I hadn’t lied to him, but that didn’t change his perception of what he saw.
I walked over to him, placing a hand on his shoulder. “Can we sit and talk?”
He shrugged, his shoulders sagging as though he knew this was coming. “Yeah, sure.”
I followed him back into the living room, waiting to see where he’d sit before I got comfortable. He took the couch, so I sat in one of the chairs opposite him. He slumped back, arms crossed tightly over his chest.
“Hunter, there’s no easy way to say this, so I’m simply going to put it all out there. Whatever happened Monday morning was unacceptable. I know you said you need time to get used to the idea of me dating someone, but that doesn’t give you the right to completely disrespect one of my closest friends.”
Hunter snorted at my description of Nixon, confirming that the issue was more that he felt I was being dishonest with him than me spending the night with a man in my bed.
“Believe it or not, that’s what Nixon is,” I insisted. “Yes, we are now trying to see if there’s something more to our relationship, but that doesn’t automatically mean I lied to you.”
“What in the hell else do you call it when not even twenty-four hours earlier, you looked me in the eye and told me that’s all you were?” Hunter scoffed. “And then, I walk into the house and see him kicked back on the couch with a huge-ass hickey on his neck that wasn’t there on Sunday. Unless the two of you went out cruising after you left the stadium or had some orgy that was just winding down when I got home, there’s only one way he got that. And I have to tell you, Pops, not manyfriendsleave that sort of lasting impression on one another.”
“I understand,” I told him. And I did. Despite all my efforts to justify my own statement on Sunday, I had started to comprehend where Hunter’s issue came in. “And I’m sorry that you thought I lied to you. I’m not going to give you all the juicy details, because those are private between Nixon and me, but when you asked what was going on between us, I had no clue myself. We didn’t part on the best terms when I left North Carolina, and I didn’t want to hope for something that would never happen as far as he was concerned. Nixon is, and always will be, a great friend.”
Hunter shrugged, but his body visibly relaxed, including his eyes, which were no longer glaring daggers at me. His mouth was still drawn into a tight scowl, but we were making progress.
“Okay, so you and Nixon talked it out, did the nasty, and I’m an immature dick for having an issue with him being here when I got home at the ass crack of dawn. Got it.” He pushed up off the couch. “It’s been fun chatting, but I’ve got shit to do. Classes and all that. Gotta keep my grades up, you know.”
There was so much attitude in that last statement I ground my teeth to bite back the urge to remind him, yet again, that I was only so hard on him about his grades because a future in football wasn’t a guarantee. Even if he was the first draft pick, that didn’t mean he’d have a long career. The majority of kids like him wouldn’t. I wanted him to have the fallback plan so many of us thought we’d never need. “Hunter, stop.”
He did, but didn’t turn back to look at me. His torso rose and fell with an audible sigh.
Join the club, kid. I’m not liking this conversation any better than you are.
“I’m not trying to minimize your feelings here,” I promised him. “But I wanted to clear the air with you. I’m going to be taking off for a while and I don’t want there to be this anger between us.”
“Do I even want to know where you’re going?” he asked, still facing the wall.
Telling him might well fuel his anger, but from this point forward, I was going to do everything in my power to be honest with him. I wasn’t willing to give up Nixon, but I was equally committed to not losing my son in the process of me finding love again. “I’m driving up to North Carolina. Nixon and I have been dancing around the attraction we both feel for far too long, and it’s not realistic to think we can build anything when we’re so far apart.”
“So what, now you’ve found someone and you’re just going to move on and leave us behind?” He might’ve been trying to hold on to his anger, but the hitch in his voice reminded me of the emotional little boy I’d once known.
I quickly crossed the room, settling for my hand on his shoulder because I didn’t trust him to not jerk away if I tried to hug him. He was a grown man and may not want to be comforted by his father.
“I would never leave you behind, Hunter,” I promised, my voice cracking at the idea that he thought I was going to abandon him. “You’re busy with school and football right now, so I’m going to take some time away from the house. Believe it or not, it’s lonely as hell around here when it’s just me.”
“What about my games?” he asked, finally turning to face me, but still avoiding eye contact. “You’ve never missed one of my home games. It’s stupid, but it means a lot to me when you’re there.”
The fact that he felt confident enough to admit that he wanted me to watch him play thawed the icy chill between us. “I’ll still be at every home game. Just because I’m opening up my life to Nixon doesn’t mean you’re going to be pushed aside. And who knows, maybe I’ll even drive to some of your games on the East Coast. This isn’t me quitting being your father, but it’s time for me to live my life.”
“Yeah, I suppose I get that. And I’m sorry I upset you the other morning,” he apologized. I was hoping he’d come around and do the right thing, but I hadn’t wanted to force him to say anything he didn’t feel. “I shouldn’t have gone at Nixon that way. When you see him, could you pass along an apology to him as well?”
