“So, are you two a thing now?”
“What would you think if we were?” I asked, trying to hide how uncomfortable his interrogation made me.
“I think it’s fucked up, to be honest.” Well, at least I didn’t have to worry about Hunter holding back what he really felt. “I know you gave him passes yesterday. Do you have any clue how that could fuck my entire world? All I need is for one of my friends to tell the wrong person about that and I’ll be suspended from entering the draft. You know damn well I can’t accept gifts from any teams.”
“First of all,Ididn’t do a damn thing,” I shot back. While I wanted Linc and Hunter to stay on good terms, that didn’t mean I was going to sit here and let him cuss me out for something I had no part of. “Teddy gave those passes to your dad as a thank you. He helped us out with the Zach Kendricks situation and this was something Teddy knew he could do to show his appreciation. He gave them toyour dadbecause that’s not a violation. You’re not being bribed to make Wilmington your dream team. You’re a good kid and a hell of a ball player, but if you think I’m the one who gave you all-access, and you think I did it to somehow get in your good graces and your father’s bed, you have a lot of growing up to do. Not everything in life is about you.”
“What’s going on down here?” Linc asked as he stepped around Hunter. It turned into a standoff, Hunter and me waiting for the other to say something. “Hunter, I don’t know what’s going on, but coming down here and attacking my friend when I jump in the shower is unacceptable. I expected better from you.”
“Yeah, well I expected my parents to actually love one another,” Hunter spat out. “I guess it’s true when they say you can’t always get what you want. I’m going to bed.” He stopped halfway up the stairs and I steeled myself for another tantrum. “Look, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t be a dick to you, it’s just… it was a long night that ended on a sour note.”
“I appreciate the apology. We’ll talk more when I get home from taking Nixon to the airport.” The glare Linc leveled in his son’s direction was ice cold. Definitely not an expression I’d want aimed at me.
Tension filled the air as Linc grabbed his keys off the counter. I silently followed him out to the car, waiting for him to dress me down for going off the way I had. If I worried about Hunter accepting us before, I’d just guaranteed the outcome I feared.
The smart thing to do would be to tell Linc to stay here with him, that there’d be time for us later. We’d already delayed the inevitable by a few years, so eight more months wouldn’t kill us. By then, Hunter would be done with school and on his way to an NAFL team and he wouldn’t feel as if I was pulling his father away from him.
“Stop obsessing,” Lincoln scolded me as he backed out of the driveway. “I’m sorry for Hunter’s behavior this morning. It’s my fault he reacted the way he did. Yesterday, he asked if you and I were involved and I told him we weren’t. At the time, that was true. I was trying to stop myself from hoping too much that we’d work things out, and I sure as hell wasn’t expecting what happened last night. When I get home, I’ll talk to him and smooth things over. This is hard for him, because until now, I’ve worked hard to make sure he never saw me with a guy.”
“I don’t want you two fighting because of me,” I admitted.
Leave it to me to go from not wanting a relationship at all to jumping into one with a parent. I’d never been good with kids, especially the ones who thought they were all grown up.
I stood at the curb, watching until Linc’s car was out of sight. My gut flipped and my heart ached as I wondered if I’d land and see a message that he couldn’t do this with me right now.
I shook off those thoughts. If we were to have any chance of making it, I had to stop trying to find every reason he could leave me.
11
Lincoln
Hunter knewhe’d messed up. Or at least, that’s what I told myself when he’d left while I ran Nix to the airport. He’d been honest with me that he needed time to get used to the reality of me being with someone, but I hadn’t expected him to react as poorly as he had, no matter how much he tried blaming it on a crappy end to his night. Not when he’d all but told me he approved, or would approve of Nixon and me being together once he got over his reservations. I needed to talk to him so we could clear the air before I left for North Carolina. I needed to make him understand that I hadn’t gone out of my way to lie to him.
That opportunity didn’t come for a few days, which gave me plenty of time to look at this situation from his perspective. Even without the added wrench of me being gay, I had no frame of reference for divorced parents dating.
But I knew someone who did.
I grabbed my phone and a bottle of water, hoping Isabella would be available and willing to talk to me about this. I wouldn’t blame her if she laughed in my face and blocked my number, but I knew she wouldn’t. She was one of the most graceful women I knew.
“Lincoln? Is everything okay?” she asked in greeting. I winced, realizing that we’d drifted apart in the past year. There’d been a time when we hadn’t spoken at all unless it was something about Hunter, but once she overcame the feelings of betrayal, we’d become friends again. The more I thought about it, the more I realized she was exactly the person I needed to talk to about this. She’d be able to understand the challenges I faced along with giving me insight on our son’s frame of mind. “Lincoln, are you there? You’re starting to worry me.”
“Sorry, it’s been a rough few days,” I admitted, settling back into the couch. It was probably my imagination, but I swore I could smell the remnants of Nixon’s cologne when I inhaled sharply. “Are you busy? If this is a bad time, it’s not anything important.”
“No, I’m just getting ready to start dinner,” she told me. “What’s going on?”
“Have you talked to Hunter at all since Monday morning? He took off and won’t return my calls.” I hadn’t worried because this was becoming a more frequent occurrence and I knew he was avoiding me until he was ready to talk. Selfishly, I needed to get that conversation over with so I could plan my trip to see Nix. I already had everything I’d need packed in the back of the car so I could leave as soon as I knew I hadn’t destroyed my relationship with my son.
“That’s not like you two,” Isabella responded, her tone sweet with a hint of concern.
“No, but neither is him walking in the door when the sun’s already rising,” I countered. There was so much I didn’t tell Isabella about Hunter’s routines. It wasn’t that she didn’t have a right to know, but she’d always been the one who coddled him. “And Nixon was here with me. Hunter was pretty upset when I left for the airport and gone when I got home.”
“I see.” Silence hung over the line and I could almost picture Isabella sliding onto one of the bar stools at their kitchen island, a glass of white wine in hand. “Does that mean the two of you are together now?”
“We’re working on that.” I wasn’t going to play off whatever it was Nix and I were building. I’d done that once with catastrophic results. And Isabella was far too astute to believe me if I tried lying. “And that’s where the problem comes in. Sunday, Hunter and I talked about the possibility of me dating again and he said it was going to take time to get used to, that he had to get over the feeling that his entire childhood was a lie. Did I screw him up, Bella?”
“Oh honey, you did nothing of the sort,” she assured me. “Someday, he will understand why you did what you did. But it takes time, Lincoln. You need to give him space to sort through his emotions the same way I needed after the divorce. It’s a shock to the system to find out something so life-changing. That probably sounds bad, but it’s the way it is. I don’t blame you for needing to be honest about yourself. I can’t believe you hid it as long as you did. But Hunter’s entire worldview at that time was based on what we told him, and with two simple words, you pulled the rug out from under him.”
“Tell me about it,” I grumbled. I wished there’d been a less painful way to come out to my family, but this was how it had to be. Lying about my reasons for the divorce wouldn’t have changed what happened. If anything, it would have been so much worse because they’d have both wondered where everything went wrong.
