I’d never allowed myself to betray my wife by fantasizing about all the things I wanted to do to Nixon or considering how well he fit into my space. Not when we were all sitting around the dinner table. And after, when he and I retreated to my den, we always maintained a careful distance, like we were afraid to tempt fate.
But now, we weren’t only tempting fate, we were grabbing it by the horns and hanging on for dear life.
When we pulled up in front of the house, neither of us moved to get out of the car. The lights were on in the foyer, thanks to the timers Isabella had installed when we first moved in. Most nights, coming home to a house that wasn’t dark was comforting, but tonight, it felt like a spotlight on what we were about to do.
My heart raced and every nerve in my body tingled as I considered the implications of taking Nixon into my home. Hopefully, into my bed. I’d wanted him for so long, I began to worry reality couldn’t live up to the fantasy I’d built in my mind.
“Everything okay?” Nixon’s soft question snapped me out of my turmoil. In the faint light from the porch, I could see his eyes had softened. He looked even more gorgeous when he let his guard down. Placing a hand on my thigh, Nixon reassured me, “If this is all too much, we don’t have to do anything. Just because you finally wore me down doesn’t mean we have to go in there and fuck like bunnies.”
“It’s not that,” I assured him, resting my hand over his. “I’m terrified right now, but not because I’m afraid of sleeping with you, Nix. I just don’t want to screw up again. I don’t want you panicking and retreating into your head.”
“So this time, you figured you’d pull back first?” When he put it that way, it did seem fairly ridiculous. Nixon slid his hand out from under mine and reached for the door handle. I followed his lead and stepped out of the car, sucking in a deep breath as I closed the door. This was it. We were doing this. Nixon had pushed aside all his reservations, so there was no logical reason for me to worry this much. Except, I did worry. I didn’t want to say the wrong thing, do the wrong thing, and push him away. But I had to have faith that everything would work out. We’d come too far for me to fall apart now. “Come on, let’s get inside.”
I nodded and fumbled for my house key. Squaring my shoulders, I stepped around Nixon, who’d beat me to the front door, and slid my key into the lock. I swear it was so quiet you could hear every tumbler falling into place. I pushed the door open and motioned for Nixon to go inside. As soon as the door latched behind me, Nixon pinned me against the wall, his face less than an inch from mine.
“If you’re having doubts, you’d better tell me right fucking now, Linc.” I shook my head, words seized in my throat. Nixon ran his hand over my chest and around to the back of my neck. He leaned in, sucking right below my earlobe. “Good, because I’ve been dying to do this for far too long.”
Every muscle in my body relaxed as Nix sealed his mouth over mine, his tongue demanding entrance into my mouth. He tasted like wintergreen, which was going to become my new favorite flavor. I moaned when he deepened the kiss, forcing one leg between mine, grinding his thigh against my dick. I wasn’t sure I’d ever been possessed like this, especially not from something so simple as a kiss.
“Need you, Nix,” I pleaded, certain I was going to cream in my briefs if we didn’t get horizontal and naked pretty soon. I shoved my hands between our bodies, pushing him away from me. “We have the whole house, no need to do this here.”
“I like the way you think.” He nipped at my jaw, pulling me past the dining room, hesitating at the bottom of the stairs. If he turned to the left, we’d travel up the stairs and end up in my bedroom. The bedroom I’d once shared with Isabella.
He seemed to have the same hesitation as I did over entering that space, and he stepped through the doorway into the living area. I didn’t want him to be a hookup on the couch. I wanted him here. Welcomed him into my space. And if things between us worked out, I hoped there would be other times he’d come to my place, and I wanted to set the expectation early that he fit here.
I pulled him back, leading him up the winding staircase. “Are you sure, Linc? I don’t want to pressure you. It feels like we were pushed into this, so don’t think you have to do anything you’re not ready for.”
“I’ve been waiting for tonight for years,” I admitted, pausing outside the master bedroom. “Besides, I intend to spend hours exploring your body tonight and I think we’re both too old for necking in the living room.”
Nixon barked out a laugh. “Speak for yourself, old man.”
“You’re only five months younger than me.” I swatted Nixon on the ass and shoved him into the room. His back arched at the contact and he sighed. I filed that bit of info for later. It seemed Nixon liked it a little rough. That shouldn’t have surprised me as much as it did, but every time I’d pictured being with him, I’d imagined us taking our time, being gentle with one another. I wrapped my arms around Nix from behind, biting the side of his neck.
“You’re wearing far too many clothes for what I want to do to you.” He stiffened, then leaned back against me. “Having second thoughts?”
Nix hesitated before answering, then shook his head. “No.”
The lack of conviction in his tone had me ready to call this whole thing off, demand that we talk about whatever he was thinking before going further. But my libido screamed at me that that was a stupid idea. Nixon was in my room, hard enough there was no hiding his erection behind his uniform, and he’d be gone tomorrow.
If we had any hope of lasting beyond a one-night stand, I had to trust him to be honest with me. Maybe he felt the weight of tonight just like I did.
When Nixon didn’t move to strip, I took charge. Curling my hand around the hem of his shirt, I yanked it up, allowing my fingers to graze along his smooth torso. He moaned, reaching around to cup my ass, pulling me tight against his back. My other hand drifted lower, fumbling with the button on his pants. I’d told him I wanted to take my time, but I felt desperate to see him for the first time.
Sex was usually a perfunctory act, something I did because it felt good, but this was more. This was someone I had feelings for, and I wanted to tell him that through my actions since I was certain saying the words aloud would turn him skittish.
“You’re beautiful,” I whispered into his ear before kissing my way down his neck and over his shoulder. “Can’t believe you’re really here.” I ground my hips against his ass, earning another groan as my dick pressed against him. “You want that? Want me to bend you over the bed and fuck you into tomorrow?”
“Stop…talking…” Nixon panted. He spun around, throwing his arms over my neck as he pressed his forehead to mine. “You can do whatever you want to me, just please, do it. Take me out of my head. Make me forget all the reasons I’m going to regret this as soon as I board my plane.”
He must’ve sensed the return of my hesitation to push him, because he sealed his mouth over mine before I could ask him, again, to show me he was as into this as I was. There was no room for regrets between us. When the kiss broke, both of us were left desperate and wanting.
Nix spun me around, shoving me to the bed, scolding me as he straddled my legs “I know what you’re thinking, but don’t. I want you. Need you.”
Time slowed as I reached up to run my fingers through Nix’s hair. He stared down at me, smiling softly, closing the distance for a kiss that was more tender and passionate than the one we’d shared earlier. His tongue traced over my bottom lip, dipping past the seam when I let out a soft sigh.
I’d waited what felt like forever for this moment and I wanted to savor it. I curled my fingers around the back of his neck, holding him to me as my hips bucked against him.
He broke the kiss and sat up, grinding against me as he pushed my shirt out of the way, exposing my torso. His pupils were blown, leaving only a sliver of brown around the outer edges as he took in the contrast of my dark bronze skin against his own. Even after spending weeks out in the sun, he was still pale in comparison. His fingers trailed through the coarse hair of my chest, his pinky barely grazing my nipple. He leaned down, nipping my ear before whispering, “Fuck, the things I want to do to you. Couldn’t get you out of my head, no matter how much I tried.”
