“And you think that’s moving in with Ryan?” It felt important to hear the words. I might not need my brother’s seal of approval to change my life, but Iwantedhim to tell me I wasn’t fucking up my life.
“God help me, but I do,” he confirmed. Haley handed each of us a box, along with instructions to go through the apartment packing what I wanted to move and placing everything else in boxes to run to the thrift store later. Then, she disappeared into the bedroom, leaving us alone. “Listen, I’m not perfect. Once the rush of the wedding wore off, Iwasworried about the two of you getting together, but not for the reasons you might think. I was selfish, worrying about what would happen to me if the two of you had a shitty breakup.”
“Good to know you were already preparing for the end when we were still trying to sort out the beginning.” I pushed myself off the floor and grabbed a roll of garbage bags. There was some stuff that wasn’t even in good enough shape to donate, and that was all getting shoved down the garbage chute. “And, for the record, I wouldn’t have been pissed if you stayed friends with him. I might be a bitch sometimes, but I’m not that level of petty.”
“I never said you were,” he pointed out, cuffing the back of my head as he moved a box next to the front door. “You assume a whole lot of shit about me, and I probably deserve a lot of that. It sucks that you’re going to be so far away because Ryan helped me see that I needed to make sure you knew that I don’t look at you like the immature shit you used to be.”
“I’m sorry. You’re probably right.” He was definitely right. I put up walls around my heart when my family disapproved of my choices when I first started exploring my identity, and I’d been unwilling to accept that they might change, too. Not Mom, of course. She was so set in her ways, she’d never accept me as I was, but Deegan and Dad were both way more chill than I gave them credit for. “But you can always come out to visit us. I might need my big brother to make sure I’m well taken care of.”
“As if,” Haley scoffed. “How is this all the further you two have gotten? Less talking and more working. The sooner we get done here, the sooner we can head back to our place for dinner. The bed’s stripped and the dresser is emptied, so the two of you can load those into the truck. Tanner, I love you, but not nearly enough to touch your nightstand. There are some things I really don’t want to know about my husband’s baby brother’s sex life.”
“Oh please, there was a time when you wanted all the gory details.” She threw a towel at me. “You know I’m right.”
“Yeah, but that was before I was part of the family. Now that’s like hearing about my brother’s sex life, and that’s just gross,” she argued.
“If you’re getting rid of my furniture today, where in the hell am I supposed to sleep?” I wasn’t stupid. I knew this was Haley’s way of making sure there was no way for me to back out. And maybe that was part of why she was the first person I called to help me empty out the apartment. By the time we were done today, the apartment would be ready for someone else to move into.
“You can stay in our guest room until we sort out flying you out to Ryan,” Deegan offered. “It was Haley’s idea, but I’m a smart enough man to go along with a good idea when my wife speaks.”
“You’re so whipped,” I teased.
Deegan nodded. His eyes when all fuzzy and soft when he smiled at his wife. “Yeah, I am. But when you’re in love, you realize that’s not a bad thing.”
No, it definitely wasn’t. I was secretly jealous of him.
* * *
It was nearlymidnight before we had everything packed up and the apartment cleaned. I let Deegan and Haley hold me upright as I looked at the barren apartment one last time. While Deegan and I had taken the donation stuff to the thrift store, Haley went to town cleaning. There was no reason for me to come back here.
“This is a good thing,” Deegan reminded me as I wiped a tear from my cheek. It was stupid to cry about leaving this dump, but it had been home. It was a symbol of my independence from the family I thought hated me.
But Deegan was right; it was time for me to move on. The future held so much more for me than this place ever could.
“Yeah, it is,” I agreed. “Just not good with change, I guess.”
“Yeah, you never have been.” Haley kissed me cheek. “That’s why you need Ryan so much. I have no doubt he’s going to shove you out of your comfort zone.”
If they only knew how much he already had. No one but him could get me to explore my interest in having someone to call Daddy. It was hot in porn, but the reality was beyond my wildest dreams. It wasn’t even about the sex, although there was no comparing Ryan to anyone from my past. I couldn’t wait to get to Annandale to find out what erotic scenarios he could dream up when we didn’t have to wait on shipping and our schedules to line up perfectly.
* * *
It was nearlytwo in the morning when my phone rang. Deegan rolled his eyes as I excused myself and ducked into the guest room.
“Hey, Daddy,” I greeted him when I answered the phone.
“Wow, you sound wide awake.” I swallowed hard, wondering if I was going to be in trouble for staying up past the bedtime he’d set. He had to know it would be impossible for me to sleep when I was worried, and when I told him what I’d gotten done today, he’d forget all about how late it was. “Were you waiting up just for me?”
“Is it bad if I say no?” It sounded much sweeter if Iwasup all night waiting for the phone to ring but, honestly, Deegan had gotten my mind off what had me stressed before.
Ryan chuckled. “No, sweetheart, that’s fine. You’re in a much better mood than you were this morning. Want to tell me what that’s all about?”
“I spent the day with Deegan,” I admitted. It wasn’t the whole truth, but it was enough for now. “Did you find Mav for me?”
“I did,” Ryan confirmed. “And he promised he’ll call you, but it’s probably not going to be tonight.”
There was a slight hesitation that had my spidey senses tingling. “Is he okay? Why can’t he call me tonight?”
“Listen to me, Tanner.” Oooh, he used his Daddy voice. My dick perked up, knowing that if he was here I’d be close to getting a spanking. “Mav isn’t in any trouble, but that’s all I’m going to say. He’ll tell you as much or as little as he wants when he calls, but that’s up to him.”
