It surprised me when Dad and Jerry came back into the room after Mom had left. I’d assumed all of them would leave together which I’d felt bad about. They were her sons, and they deserved to be in the know more than Ryan and me.
“We sent Lillian home,” Dad informed us as he and Jerry sat on opposite sides at the end of the bed. “Tanner, I’m sorry we weren’t able to talk her out of offering your help. I know you don’t mind, but you should have had a choice in the matter.”
“It’s okay, Dad. Really,” I promised. “I know Nana wants to go home. We’re going to have fun.”
Nana looked to Ryan, who was now sitting across from me. “I’m…sorry…Ryan.”
“No more apologies,” Ryan insisted. “We’re all going to make sure you get back on your feet in no time. Tanner and I can wait.”
Wait a minute… why did it sound like Ryan knew what she was apologizing for?
Ryan’s cheeks went bright red, and he curled in on himself slightly. He was usually so confident; it was odd to see him nervous. “She and I might have had a chat when you went for a walk to stretch your legs the other night.”
“So, shedidknow…” I arched my back and threw my head back. I wanted to ask what in the hell he’d been thinking, but I wasn’t going to have one of our first fights be in front of my family.
“I…know,” she confirmed, freeing her hand for Ryan’s and clasping mine again. “I’m…happy…for you. This…is…what you…need.”
“What’s going on?” Dad asked. He didn’t sound upset, so much as confused.
“Tanner is going to move to Annandale with me,” Ryan explained. “As I’m sure you can imagine, having a long-distance relationship isn’t easy, and he can take some time to explore what he truly wants to be doing if he’s with me.”
“Were you going to tell us?” Again, the lack of disdain in Dad’s question was confusing to me. “I’m not upset, son, but that’s a big move to make without talking to your family about it.”
I gaped at him. “You’re kidding me right now, right? I mean, yes, I was going to let you know I was moving to the opposite side of the country, but I hadn’t yet because of Mom. I didn’t need her telling me how I was going to screw up not only my own life but Ryan’s, too. And you know damn well she wouldn’t have been able to hold back from warning me that Ryan would eventually get sick of me and I’d be on the streets without anyone to help me.”
“As if that’ll happen,” Ryan scoffed. He turned to my dad. “Patrick, I love Tanner, and I will do everything in my power to make sure he’s happy and well taken care of. He needs to be where he’ll be supported rather than stifled.”
“I agree.” Dad cocked his head to the side, looking back and forth between us. “You know, I always wondered if there was something between the two of you when you were younger. I’m sorry if we’ve made it seem like we wouldn’t accept you, Ryan. I know it’s not an easy life, but if there’s anyone I’d pick for Tanner to be with, it would be you.”
I felt like I’d fallen into an alternate reality. Maybe I’d tumbled down the stairs and I was currently having drug-induced hallucinations. This was the most Dad had ever said abouthisfeelings on my sexuality. Of course, it wasn’t like we often had opportunities to talk without Mom hovering nearby.
“I’m sorry if we’ve put a kink in your plans.”
I cackled and broke out in a fit of laughter before I could stop myself. Everyone looked at me like I’d lost my damned mind. Well, everyone but Ryan, who glared at me.Behave, he mouthed when our eyes met. I pressed my lips together, praying no one would ask what I’d found so funny.
“It’s a delay, that’s all,” Ryan assured him, but he was looking at me as if reminding me that staying here a bit longer didn’t mean I’d never be home with him. “And if he’d already moved, I’m sure he would have flown out as soon as he found out what happened, and he’d still want to stay with her.”
“But he…didn’t…choose,” Nana argued.
“You’re right, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t want to help you.”
“I hate to break up the party, but the doctor’s going to be by in just a minute to talk to you, and then we’ll let you get out of here.” We all looked up at the sweet nurse who’d made sure to spend time with Nana every day. She also snuck food in for me, taking care of both of us. I was pretty sure she’d been upset when she realized Ryan wasn’t one of the grandsons and that he had eyes only for me, but she hadn’t stopped hanging out every chance she got.
“About…time,” Nana quipped, and we all laughed.
Dad and Jerry wound up driving Nana home with Ryan and me following. That gave us time to talk about the abrupt change of plans. “You’re really not upset about this?”
Ryan laced our fingers together and moved our hands to his thigh. “Baby, I never want to take you away from your family. I know it sounds horrible, but in a way, we’re lucky Nana had a stroke when she did. You would have been beside yourself if it had happened after we got you settled. And you can’t tell me I’m wrong, that you’d want to be here with her no matter where you were living at the time.”
“No, but you didn’t answer my question.” I turned in my seat to face him. “Are you upset that I didn’t talk to you first?”
“You act like I don’t know Lillian.” He’d always called her Mom when we were kids, but since the wedding, he’d taken to using her first name. “I know she didn’t ask ifyouwere cool with moving in with Nana, either.”
“No, but I just told you I wanted you to be the one to make decisions, and then I made a huge one without talking to you first.” That was my real issue here. No, I didn’t have a choice, but I still felt like I should have found a way to at least get his opinion before agreeing. I was damn lucky that buying plane tickets was on his to-do list for later in the week. He’d been delaying until we knew Nana was going to pull through, otherwise I’d get to carry around the guilt of that wasted money, too.
“Being your Daddy doesn’t mean you lose the ability to make decisions for yourself,” Ryan explained, squeezing my hand. “You’re an adult, fully capable of making your own decisions. There will always be times when you have to do something on your own and that’s when my job is to support your decision, unless I think it’s going to be harmful to you. This isn’t one of those times. You’re doing what you need.”
“But are you upset that I’m not going home with you right now?” He’d been so excited about introducing me to his friends and their partners, who he was sure would become my friends, too. Every night, he’d told me about some of his favorite places in Annandale to pull me out of my head. I’d been looking forward to him taking me to each of the businesses he talked about, but now that was going to have to wait.
