“I thought I was supposed to be the petulant one,” I teased. “Come on, I promise it's not going to ruin things if you tell me what you're so obsessed with finding. Plus, it'll help us get back to the hotel sooner. I'm thinking we should spend the rest of the day naked, only getting out of bed to refuel before another round of sex.”
“You’re insatiable,” he quipped.
“And you're the one who didn't let me get off before breakfast.” I glared at him, still annoyed because he’d been amused by my pain. “Sue me if I want to live out as many of my teenage fantasies as possible before you abandon me.”
I was only joking, but apparently that was the wrong thing to say. Ryan's brows pinched together, and his lips narrowed to a thin line.
“I'm kidding. I know you have a life you have to get back to,” I added, trying to sound unaffected. After he dropped me off and I’d watched his car until he was out of sight, then I could bury my face in a pillow and cry myself to sleep.
“Still, I don't like the idea of being so far away from you,” he admitted. “I just got you. What if I fly home and you decide it's too much work having a long-distance relationship?”
One of the things I loved about Ryan—had always loved about him—was that he never tried to hide his vulnerability. But he was worrying for nothing if he thought I was going to be the one to call it quits.
“It won't be long distance forever,” I promised him. He let out a grunt. I tugged on his arm, spinning him around so he faced me. After trying to keep my hands to myself over the weekend, I didn't give a flying fuck who might see us. We were hours from home and no one else mattered. I pressed my chest to Ryan's, reaching up to cup his face.
I'd always thought of this type of relationship as being one sided with the Daddy always trying to look after and take care of his boy, but now I realized it was just as much my job to take care of him. I was the one who needed to reassure him when his mind was filled with doubts.
“Just because I said I'm not ready to pack my things and jump on a plane today doesn't mean I never will be. I just want to make sure we’re solid before I do anything drastic. Despite what my family believes, I am capable of making mature decisions sometimes.”
Ryan hugged me tighter. “I know that, and someday I'll get over myself and be proud of you for being the responsible one for a change. But you have to give me a little time. And can you really blame me for wanting to keep you next to me? I feel like the past five years have been one giant missed opportunity. Time that we lost when we could've been together.”
“Weren't you the one telling me that things might not have worked out if we had gotten together back then?” I reminded him. “I was an immature brat back then. You would've gotten sick of me.”
Ryan shook his head. “Not a chance in hell. And for the record, you’re still a brat. The difference is you know how to work that to your advantage to get what you want from me now. The only thing that would've happened is your backside might have been permanently blistered from pushing the limits. I probably would have resorted to daily preemptive spankings just in case you were naughty while I was at work.”
The jeans I was wearing were far too tight for dirty talk in public. I swatted his shoulder and groaned. “You can't say things like that to me when you can't do anything about it.”
Ryan quirked an eyebrow. “I can't, huh? The last I checked, you’re mine and I can do whatever the hell I want to you, unless you use your safe word.”
“I still don't know why you insisted on a safe word. I won't use it,” I insisted.
He let out a low growl. “I know you think that now. I've been taking it easy on you because I don't want to jump in too fast.”
An undignified snort escaped me. I quickly covered my mouth to hide my amusement.
Fine, so we hadn't jumped headfirst into hard-core kinky stuff, but I wasn't sure you could qualify it as going slow when I'd lost track of how many orgasms I had, and housekeeping was probably going to have to burn the sheets after we checked out. Even industrial-strength cleaners weren't going to get the scent of sweat and cum out of the bedding.
Ryan swatted my backside, making me jump. “You know what I mean, brat. When you come out to visit me, I'll introduce you to some of the things I like doing to boys who push the limits.”
“Is that a promise? Because I have to tell you, you're making it really damn hard for me to stand by my insistence that we not rush into anything. If I have to wait until I move in with you to get to the good stuff, that might sway my decision.” I'd expected Ryan to laugh, not scowl at me.
“I'm not trying to manipulate you, Tanner.” He led me to a bench in the courtyard of the open-air mall. I yelped when my ass met the frozen metal of the seat. What was it about him and wanting to have meaningful conversations while I froze my ass off?
“I'm really not upset with you for looking out for yourself. I understand that it's going to take time for you to trust that things between us will last. When you make that decision for yourself, I'll be the happiest man in the world. Until then, we’ll have to settle for weekend visits when our schedules allow. If you can't take time off from work, then I'll be the one making more trips.” He draped an arm over my shoulders and pulled me against his side. I was surprised that in all the shopping we’d done, he hadn’t insisted on buying me a warmer coat.
Taking time off work wasn't going to be a problem. If my dead-end retail job wanted to fire me for requesting some weekends off, it wouldn't be a problem for me to find something else. It wasn't an exciting career that was holding me back from moving in with Ryan, it was the fear of the unknown and the fact that I'd never hear the end of it from my family.
Moving over two-thousand miles away to be with a man, even one I had known most of my life, would be the height of irresponsibility in their eyes. And despite the don't-give-a-shit attitude I tried to portray most of the time, I really did want them to see that I was capable of being a functioning adult. “How is it supposed to work for these weekend trips you're talking about? I thought you had all this important businessy stuff you had to take care of.”
“One of the joys of being my own boss is the ability to set my own schedule,” he explained. “And as you've seen, I can work from anywhere with a few exceptions. The meetings I have to get back for have been planned for months now and there are a lot of people waiting on the contracts to be signed. That's the only reason I didn't leave my return flight open-ended.”
Something caught Ryan’s eye and he jumped up. He pulled a twenty out of his wallet and handed it to me.
“Why don't you go over to that sports bar we saw earlier and get us a table,” he suggested. “We’ll get something to eat before we head back to the resort. That way, we don't have to waste the time we have with menial tasks like eating.”
“Where are you going?” He was suddenly acting nervous and cagey.
“I think I found a place that might have what I'm looking for. But I want to surprise you, so you’re going to do as you were told,” he demanded. He glared down at me, and I didn’t dare argue.
