It embarrassed me to admit that I was completely clueless.
Tanner scooted his chair closer and placed a hand on my thigh. “You were always sticking up for me. When Deegan or some of your other friends would start picking on me, you'd tell them to knock it off. Then, you’d pull me aside and tell me to ignore them because they were wrong. It was the only thing that got me through high school.”
“Hell, sweetheart.” I let out a deep breath, hating that I’d left him on his own for so long. I’d never realized how much of an impact it’d had on him to hear someone insisting there wasn’t anything wrong with him. “I really don’t remember that. In my defense, hearing them cut you down felt like they were saying the same things to me, even if they didn't know it. So maybe telling you that you were perfect was a way of reassuring myself at the same time.”
“Why didn't you come out sooner?” He’d asked this question a few times, and I always dodged giving him a good answer. The truth was, I was a coward. I worried too much about what everyone would think of me, and I’d still be hiding if it wasn’t for him.
I shrugged, not having a decent answer for him. “Not everyone is as brave as you, sweetheart. By the time I started to understand why I wasn't as girl crazy as the rest of the guys, everyone had made up their mind about me. It was easier to go with the flow, knowing I would be leaving for college eventually. If I'd known it would've helped you, I’d like to say I would have done things differently.”
“Don't be ridiculous,” Tanner scoffed. “I would've been mad as hell if you’d come out just to make my life easier. Coming out is something you can only do for yourself, and I’m sorry I forced your hand this weekend.”
“First of all,youdidn’t force anything,” I insisted. He tucked his chin against his chest, and I squeezed his hand to make him look at me. When he did, I leaned closer, brushing the backs of my fingers over his cheek. “The longer I kept my feelings for you locked away, the harder it was. It felt disrespectful to you.”
“I would have been fine,” he assured me. And he would have been. He’d have gladly suffered as long as his silence allowed me to stay safely locked away in the closet.
“Why do you always do that?” I asked, frustrated that he was willing to make his own life hell to appease me.
“Do what?”
“You're always trying to make everybody else's life easy, even if it means you’re miserable.”
Tanner shrugged. “I learned early on that it's best to not make waves that can pull other people under.”
“You absolutely should make waves if it means people won't think they can push you around,” I insisted. “I don’t ever want you dulling your shine to make someone else happy. Not even me.”
He stared at me, and I could tell he was about to say something I wouldn’t like. I pressed my index finger to his lips and whispered, “There’s only one right answer here. What do you say?”
The seconds dragged on, and I wondered if I’d pushed too far. He said the “Daddy stuff” needed to stay in our room, but I wanted to spend the next two days showing him that it didn’t have to be hidden. I could be his Daddy, even when we were out in public, and no one but us needed to know.
“Yes, Daddy,” he responded with a stuttering breath.
“That’s my good boy,” I praised him.
The server came by to take our order, and we spent the rest of breakfast catching up on idle chatter about what we’d both been doing over the past few years.
11
Tanner
There were worsethings in the world than having a Daddy who wanted to spoil me before he had to go home. I'd made a couple of jokes about him being my Sugar Daddy and he hadn't appreciated those at all. To him, taking me shopping had nothing to do with wanting to spoil me, and everything to do with making sure I knew who I belonged to when we had to be apart.
And as it turned out, Daddy was even pickier about clothes than I was. At first, I worried he was trying to mold me into something I wasn't, but every time he pulled something off the rack, he looked to me to see how I reacted. He had a great eye for fashion and paid no attention to which section of the store we were in. The only thing I couldn't understand was how frustrated he was by early afternoon.
“You don't have to spend the entire day shopping,” I assured him. “I know this isn't really your thing.”
“It's not that I don't want to shop,” he promised me. “I'm just not finding some of the things I'd been hoping get for you. We may have to head back to the city tomorrow morning and go to some of the shops there. They have to have some specialty boutiques that have a better selection.”
I couldn't believe it, but the idea of spending two days wandering from store to store trying to find whatever it was he was looking for irritated me. Normally, I was the one begging to look in just one more shop. But time was a finite resource between us, and I didn't want to waste all of it chasing down clothes he wouldn't even see once he went home.
“We've already got quite a few things for me to model for you when we get back to the room. Why don't we call it a day?” Ryan hadn't taken the bait when I invited him into the dressing room with me. I think we both knew what would happen if we were alone behind closed doors.
Even though the idea of sucking him off with strangers on the other side of the door pushed all my buttons, I didn't think either of us wanted to risk and indecent exposure ticket in a somewhat buttoned up town far from home. He was far too busy for having to fly cross-country for court dates.
“There's just one more thing I want to find,” he insisted, squinting as he looked at the storefronts. “I'm not giving up until I find it.”
“What if you tell me what it is you're looking for,” I suggested. “Chances are I’ll know if it exists and where we need to go.”
“It's supposed to be a surprise.” His shoulders slumped forward, and it was the closest to pouting that I had ever seen him. I reached up and flicked his bottom lip.
