I spun around and the moment I caught a glimpse of Maverick’s face, I knew something was wrong. My heart raced, wondering what in the hell was in those messages that had his face looking like he was wearing foundation three shades too light. His anxiety made my gut churn to the point I regretted the little bit of coffee I’d consumed so far.
“What the hell’s going on?” I snatched the phone out of his hands. As soon as I read the messages from my brother, my chest tightened.
I scrolled back to the start of the messages. The first two were from Haley, even though it was Deegan’s phone number. I could tell by the lack of shitty snark.
6:07am:Hey Tanner. I hate to do this, but do you think you could be ready to go early? We need to get up to the resort.
6:20am:I just tried calling and you didn’t answer. I really need you to call me back.
7:00am:Of course you’re not up yet. We have to be on the road by 7:30. If you want to ride with us, let me know.
And there it was. Funny how he made it sound like I had a choice in the matter. There was a reason I lived in the city. I could get everywhere I needed on public transportation or using a ride-sharing service. And as much as I hated having to do things on Deegan’s timeline, carpooling with them was better than having to ride with my—
Oh hell no. If the next message was telling me Mom and Dad were picking me up, I wasn’t going. They were the last two people I wanted to be trapped with. Haley would understand. She’d hate me for the rest of her life if her makeup and hair looked like shit in her wedding pictures, but she knew I couldn’t be trapped for that long without any way to escape.
8:02am:You’re lucky I got ahold of Ryan. He’s going to pick you up. I already texted him your address. He'll be there as soon as his flight lands and he gets his rental.
Scratch that. This was far worse than listening to my parents nitpick every decision I’d made in my life. I flopped onto the bed, draping an arm over my eyes.
“Does Deegan know what happened?” I shook my head. No one but Maverick knew why I suddenly wished it was my parents picking me up. He was the only person who knew about the single biggest regret of my life.
Well, and Ryan, too, but if he’d told Deegan I couldn’t ride with him, it would have raised even more suspicions. And no way in hell would Ryan sully his gleaming reputation by letting anyone know what he’d allowed to happen when he was nearly blackout drunk one night… I wasn’t naive enough to believe his silence had been for my benefit.
“If you want, I can drive you up there after work,” Maverick offered.
“No, it's fine,” I reassured him, even though I wanted to take him up on the offer. “We all knew this would happen eventually. Better to face the music now. It might be better that we’ll be stuck in the car for three hours with nothing to do other than ignore one another or address the elephant in the room. Maybe this way things won't be so awkward by the time we get there.”
Maverick scoffed. “Yeah. Or maybe you’ll get yourself so worked up you won’t be able to leave your hotel room the entire weekend. Seriously. You don't have to do this. I know you want to be there for Haley, but you could always text Deegan and tell him you're sick. They couldn't be upset with you for missing the wedding if you woke up this morning puking and with a fever. ‘Tis the season, after all.”
“No. I'm not willing to subject myself to a lifetime of guilt trips just so I don't have to face him.” Ryan had been my brother’s best friend since elementary school. The wedding was just the start of having to interact with him for the rest of my life. Down the road, there were bound to be baptisms, birthday parties, and god knew what else.
It was time to grow up and face the mistakes of my past, otherwise Haley would eventually figure out something was going on and she’d slap me for being so stupid. Or for not telling her sooner, but by the time I fucked up, she was head over heels for Deegan and I hadn’t wanted to put her in the middle of my drama.
“Okay. But remember what I told you,” he conceded, obviously convinced I was an idiot. “If you get up there and the shit gets too deep, you can call me, and I'll come get you. I don’t care how late it is, I’m not going to let you suffer alone. That’s a shitty way to start the new year.”
Maverick sat down next to me, lacing his fingers through mine. Neither of us said anything for a while. He was giving me time to process what was about to happen. The memories of the kid I had been begged me to stay home. The independent, zero-fucks-given man I’d become said it was time to show them all that I wasn’t hurt by their shitty opinions.
I leaned my head on Mav’s shoulder and he wrapped me in a warm hug. I closed my eyes, remembering that this was what love felt like. It might not be romantic love, but that didn’t make it any less valid.
If only things were different. If only there was a way to be with someone as sweet as Mav. But, no, I had to be terminally infatuated with toxic closet cases who’d never be brave enough to give in to their needs. And no one could convince me that wasn’t what was going on.
He knew who he was in bed with, and he’d definitely been into it…right up until he woke up the next morning, sober and overcome with regrets. And I’d stupidly allowed myself to believe the sweet things he’d slurred in the middle of the night with his arm holding me captive against his body.
“Okay, babe. As much as I know you don't want to, you need to finish getting dressed if you’re going to have any chance of being ready on time.” A chill shot down my spine when Maverick stood. I already missed his warmth and knew it had nothing to do with the temperature in the room. “I'll go downstairs and make you something you can take with you for breakfast if you want.”
“Thanks, but no. I'm pretty sure I wouldn't be able to eat anyway.” If it wasn’t because of the lump in my throat, it would be the churning stomach that left me unable to eat. “I'm going to go over my list again, to make sure everything’s packed. You know damn well they're not going to have shit up there if I forget anything, and no way in hell am I using hotel soap and shampoo.”
Maverick narrowed his eyes on me. “Don't do anything stupid.”
I gave him my best innocent smile as I fluttered my lashes. “Who, me? I would never do anything to purposely make my family as uncomfortable as possible.”
He let out an audible sigh. “That's exactly what I’m afraid of.” He hugged me again but didn't release me as he stepped back, looking directly into my eyes. “Look, I know you want to prove a point to them but remember that you love Haley. You don't want to do anything to ruin her special day.”
“I won't do anything on their wedding day,” I promised, making anXover my heart. “But the rest of this weekend, I’m going to be me. If they have a problem with it, that's on them.”
Maverick released me, shaking his head as he retreated from the bedroom. Once I was alone, I did a quick job repacking. I also tossed aside the comfy jeans and sweatshirts I'd been planning on wearing for the trip into the mountains. It was time for me to show Ryan that I wasn’t the pathetic teen who’d cried himself to sleep after making the biggest mistake of my life.
Maybe I could convince myself along with him.
