“This is our do over, Ryan,” I promised him as he continued plunging in and out of my body. “Maybe this is the way it was always supposed to be. We’re different people than we were then, and if you’d told me how you felt back then, it might not have worked out.”
“I think you could be right.” Ryan slid his hands between my body and the mattress, holding me as he fucked me. No, something had shifted, and this wasn’t like any sex I’d ever had before.
I felt full, but not in the sexual way. It was this sense of peace and rightness that washed over me. I’d always been Ryan’s, even when neither of us knew it. And now, it was up to us to figure out how to make things work when we lived on exact opposite sides of the country.
When my release finally came, it wasn’t with an explosion and a scream, it was waves of pleasure, my ass squeezing Ryan’s cock until he let go. Ryan collapsed on top of me, holding me tightly as we both struggled to breathe.
“I meant everything I said, Tanner,” he whispered as he kissed the shell of my ear. “I don’t want this to be all there is for us. I know what I said earlier, but I can’t do it.”
“This is insane. I want to say I’m all in, but what if it doesn’t work out?” I pursed my lips together to keep from saying anything else stupid while I could still feel his softening dick in my ass.
“Then at least we’ll know we tried.” Ryan pulled out and disposed of the condom. My eyes were already closed when he came back and gently cleaned me up. “Let’s see if we can rest up before dinner. I don’t want to spend a minute away from you unless it’s unavoidable.”
He pulled back the bedding and lifted me up, carefully placing me in the middle of the bed. Once he laid down, I curled up against him. I hoped the,I love you,as I drifted off to sleep had only been in my mind. Now that I had him, I didn’t want to scare him away.
9
Tanner
I didn’t wantto get out of the cocoon of our bed. Ryan and I had spent as much time as necessary with the family, but we’d become masters at excusing ourselves—at different times, of course—so we could sneak back to the suite for a little fun. Or sometimes, we’d just cuddle. It turned out he was a sucker for cuddling me while we caught up on what we’d been doing since we’d last seen one another.
Last night, after the rehearsal dinner and cocktails we hadn’t been able to skip, he’d asked if I would ever consider moving out east. I hadn’t, but that was probably because there’d never been anything worth uprooting my entire life for, even if I was completely miserable here.
Now that he’d planted the seed, I was going out of my mind. Yes, we’d known one another since we were kids, but it was stupid to even think about that type of change when we’d barely had time to see if we worked as a couple beyond sexual chemistry. Granted, it wasn’t like following him wherever he went would be giving up much, but that was beside the point.
But the thought of dropping him off at the airport sat in my gut like sour milk. That was the worst idea possible. Once he was home, he’d find someone more suitable, and he’d forget all about the off-handed comments he’d made to me.
“What's wrong?” Ryan asked as he kissed the back of my neck. He tucked his hand between my waist and the mattress, effectively trapping me against his body.
I wasn’t complaining. If I had my way, we'd stay like this until it was time to check out. I knew he wanted me to tell him whatever was on my mind, but that was a level of vulnerability I wasn’t ready for, so I settled for a smaller truth. “Today's going to suck.”
“Just remember what I told you. If things get rough, you find me and I'll make sure to help you survive without killing anyone,” he promised.
As much as I appreciated the gesture, that's not what I was talking about this time. I meant the entire damn day. We spent long enough curled up in bed, we were already cutting it close to being late for breakfast. Once we finished eating with the entire family, Ryan would go with Deegan and the rest of the groomsmen to do whatever it was guys did before getting married, while I followed Haley up to the bridal suite to help her and the bridesmaids get ready.
The next time I even laid eyes on Ryan would be when he walked into the ballroom that was already being transformed into a winter wonderland for Haley's dream wedding. And then, I'd be able to look but I wouldn't be able to touch. I’d seen him in a tux when he and Deegan had gone to senior prom, and that had sent me into my room, tearing off my shorts as fast as possible so I could tug one out. If he had that effect on me then, I didn’t even want to think about how I’d feel now.
“We’re not going to be able to spend any time together until early tomorrow morning,” I explained. Why did Haley have to plan a wedding that would inevitably drag on for over fourteen hours between the pictures, wedding, and reception? “I know you’d help me if my family tries giving me a hard time, but that’s not thehardI’m worried about.”
“Oh, I see what this is about,” Ryan chuckled. “You're going to miss your Daddy cuddles, aren't you?”
Yeah. I was.It was hard to believe that less than twenty-four hours ago the entire concept of calling someone Daddy outside of sex was completely foreign to me. Now, I was dreading today not only because I'd be forced to spend time with people who would always view me as less than, but also because it meant time away from Ryan. And time was one thing we didn't have nearly enough of.
Ryan pushed himself up, leaning over my body to press his lips against my temple. He kissed his way down the side of my face before sucking my earlobe between his teeth.
“Try not to think about it too much. It's not going to be any easier on me,” he admitted. “And you'd better believe I'll be looking for every possible opportunity to either steal you away or send you a text message letting you know where to meet me.”
He flipped me on my back. As if to prove a point, he combed his fingers through my messy hair before giving a sharp tug. He sealed his mouth over mine, pressing his tongue against the seam of my lips until I opened for him.
When he pulled away, he said, “I hate that I have to spend a single minute away from you today.” He kissed me again, more quickly this time. “There's not a chance I'll be able to make it until midnight, without tasting these lips again. Are you going to wear any makeup today?”
Before Ryan stormed back into my life, I’d planned on sashaying into the ballroom in all my gay glory, with fierce eyes and a fuck-the-world attitude. But Daddy was right; this was Haley’s big day, and it would be rude of me to do anything to upstage her. It would also be against the first rule Daddy had given me. He didn't want me doing anything that would draw negative attention.
“Let me rephrase that,” Ryan said before I could respond. “Youaregoing to wear your makeup today. It doesn’t have to be over the top, but you’re so damned pretty and you exude confidence. Your makeup is like armor for you, and you shouldn’t pretend to be someone you aren’t for anyone. And I want you to keep that cherry lip gloss in your pocket. Whenever I tell you to meet you somewhere, I expect you to freshen it up.”
“You… You like my lip gloss?” The corner of my mouth tipped up in a smirk. I knew damn well he did. At the rate we were going, I was going to demand he buy me another tube before dropping me off at my apartment because I couldn’t remember the last time I’d gone through so much gloss so fast. He said he liked the taste of it on me, but I was pretty sure he’d enjoy kissing me just as much without it.
“You know I do.” He sat up, flashing me a pained grimace. “As much as I hate to say it, we need to get up. If we don’t, we’re going to have your mother to answer to.”
