I couldn't think of a plausible excuse quick enough. Jack cocked one eyebrow and pursed his lips. With a resigned sigh, I leaned my mallet against the wall and shuffled toward the door between the two sides of the club.
I hung back, much like I had the last time we’d all been gathered like this. I’d felt like an outsider then, and I felt even more like one today. Not only that, but I was a damned liar. Even if they wouldn’t see it that way, I did. Every time I steered the conversation away from anything personal, I was lying by omission.
The room was buzzing with anticipation for DeSires’ grand opening. The timeline was more than a bit optimistic, which was another reason Jack didn’t mind me helping things along. But every day he had to keep the club closed was money lost, so I couldn’t fault him. Besides, everyone in the local kink community had been asking what lay in store, because Sam was a marketing genius and had been teasing about the renovation since he’d been given the green light.
If anyone could pull off a business as unique as this one, it was Jack. He and Sam saw the new club as a more refined version of what it used to be. I knew from listening to Sam, that the boys had spent more than a few nights researching various kinks to make sure everyone had a safe space to play, and now that The Lodge was more vanilla—with the exception of the playroom—all of the educational workshops would be moved to the back as well.
Maybe it was time for me to dip my toe into those waters again. DeSires could be my safe place to see if Maverick was an anomaly, or if he’d unlocked a piece of me I hadn’t known I’d been hiding.
“What are you looking forward to, John?” Sam practically vibrated with excitement, as he should. This was his brainchild, and I loved seeing him so open and chatty. Things hadn’t been easy for him and this felt like his reward.
I reached out and scruffed his hair. “I’m not sure, little guy. This place is going to be like a candy shop and no one’s going to know where to start.”
“Come on, you can't tell me you’re boring vanilla,” Sam scoffed. “You’ve worked here far too long to not at least be curious aboutsomething. And I've seen the way you look at some of the people who pass by you. So, what gets your motor going?”
“You make it sound like I'm a rusty old car.” I took a sip of the fruit punch someone had handed me. Hell, Ifeltlike the rusty car headed to the junk yard.
Who knows, maybe last summer was the start of my midlife crisis. Maybe Maverick saw the pain I tried to bury and preyed on that.
No, I couldn’t believe he’d do something so underhanded. I didn’t know him, but there’d been nothing but sincerity in every move he made.
Then again, I wasn’t so sure I was a great judge of character. I’d believed I was in a monogamous relationship with Lesley for almost five years. Imagine my surprise when I looked through the plate glass windows of a sports bar and saw her hanging off another guy, right before I noticed the rock on her finger.
By the time she got to my apartment that night with a flimsy excuse about having to work late, I had all her shit packed up and waiting by the door. She hadn’t even had the courtesy to try lying to me when I confronted her. I felt like the world’s biggest fool when she’d admitted that I’d been the other man the entire time.
Sometimes, I still wondered if her husband ever found out about us. I’d considered tracking him down to warn him, but figured I’d let karma get her in the end.
So, yeah, I wasn’t all that dissimilar to a broken-down car.
“I mean, when was the last time you got laid? I know you have a life outside of work, but sometimes I do wonder,” he teased. “Seriously, you’re probably the only person here more than me, and that’s pretty sad.”
“Yeah, well maybe I’m past my prime.” God, that sounded almost as pathetic as being unwilling to risk my heart again when it had been so thoroughly pulverized in the past. “There’s not a huge market for men in their forties who still work in a bar.”
“That’s such a bunch of bullshit,” Sam scoffed. “I’d bet you could snap your fingers and have a line of men and women on their knees for you. And they’d all hate whoever you picked to play with for the night.”
It was the first time anyone had mentioned men when talking about me and sex. I wondered if Maverick had blabbed to his friend, but again, that didn’t seem like the type of thing he’d do. Hell,hewas the one who insisted we not let anyone know why it had taken us so long to look around. And when we’d come back to the rest of the group, he’d kept a careful distance from me.
Despite the looks of adoration he’d flashed me while my cock was shoved to the back of his throat, it quickly felt like he’d used me to get something he wanted. But that was ridiculous, because I was the one with cum drying in my pubes while he walked around carefully positioning his hands, so no one saw his hard-on.
And maybe that made me a dick.
“Are you even listening to me?” Sam whined. My cheeks flushed, embarrassed at being caught daydreaming about his pretty friend. “Wow. Suddenly, I wish I was a mind reader. I’dloveto know what’s going on in that head of yours.”
“No, you really wouldn’t. Boring, old guy shit,” I lied.
“Yeah, I’m sure.” He chuckled and wrapped his hand around my elbow. “And if you’re trying to keep that whole standoffish vibe going, quit. You’re sexy as hell. If I wasn’t with Theron, I’d show you exactly what boys like me think about silver foxes.”
I wasnota silver fox. Okay, so there were the depressing gray hairs showing up on my chest, but the hair on my head was still as dark as it’d been when I was a kid. Then again, there was a reason I kept it almost shaved on the sides. Fuck.
“You keep that up and I’ll tell your Daddy you’re flirting with me,” I warned him. He smiled as if that’d been his plan the entire time. “Now, what were you saying?”
He squirmed as if something in his pants was uncomfortable. That was weird because it wasn’t like he had a dick that could get painfully hard and press against his zipper when he was aroused. My gaze drifted below his waist and I couldn’t help but stare. I knew he was trans, and yet, there was a very defined bulge there.
No. Wasn’t going to think about that.
When I managed to pry my eyes off his nether regions, Sam smirked. He leaned in close and whispered, “It’s Daddy’s present to me. I’d show you, but I already got in trouble for that once today.”
“Don’t worry, I’m sure I’ll survive not seeing whatever this present is,” I promised him, but I was definitely curious. The only thing stopping me from asking questions was the fact that he was a coworker, sort of my boss, and I wouldn’t ask any of the other guys about what they were packing in their pants. “Can you please repeat whatever it was you were saying before things got weird?”
