“Oh, because you were so open with Theron when the two of you met?” I scoffed. The circumstances were different, but we’d spent more than one night messaging back and forth with me telling him to talk to the man who was now the center of his world. “I mean, maybe you’re right, but this is a big step for me. I’m still not used to being able to be me. Every guy I’ve hooked up with for more than a night or two in the past, eventually wanted me to tone it down. That’s the opposite of what I want now, so maybe it’s for the best if I stay single until I’m in a better place mentally.”
“Or maybe you should take a chance with John,” Sam suggested as he maneuvered through the surface streets. I recognized this area from the last time I was here. “He saw you dressed up the day you met, and then again at the house. Don’t think I didn’t hear him call you princess and see the way you practically swooned. That’s major, and we both know it.”
“I donotswoon,” I protested.
“You so did, and it was cute as hell,” he countered. When Sam pulled into the back parking lot and turned off the engine, I couldn’t bring myself to open the door. I recognized John’s car from that morning. He didn’t know it, but I’d watched him from my bedroom window as he left. And I’d waved until he was out of sight, just like I’d imagined I would the night before. “Come on. Nothing’s going to happen if you don’t want it to. We’re going to go in there and you’re going to say hi. And then, maybe the two of you can get to know one another as you work. Believe me, there’s a ton to do if we’re going to open next week.”
It was ridiculous to me that they were trying to get the renovations done as quickly as they were, but I understood that time was money. And with bringing a partner in to help fund the overhaul, things were even more complicated.
I followed Sam down the dark hallway leading into The Lodge. From what he’d told me, everyone came in through this door, even if they were working on the other side of the club. Because of the more sensitive nature of that side, there wasn’t an employee entrance that could accidentally get left open.
Hearing him talk about everything that was planned, was what got me to agree to taking the job. Where it used to be open to the public with strict protocols at the door, it was now going to be a more exclusive club, other than educational events. And even those would require advanced registration and a vetting process. Knowing random creeps wouldn’t be allowed in off the streets eased my fears a bit.
“Hey, Jack,” Sam called out when we reached the main bar area. “Can you show Mav where to go? I need to get another order put in to make sure everything’s ready.”
“You got it,” Jack hollered back. “I’m in the playroom, Mav.”
I liked that no one here insisted on calling me Maverick. Mav wasn’t much better, but it felt like a piece of my evolution. I gave Sam a quick hug, he wished me luck, and suggested, yet again, that I forgive John for not contacting me. We’d have to see about that.
I took my time walking through the bar, really looking at everything for the first time. When I was here for Sam’s graduation, I’d been too nervous to appreciate the space. It had a small dance floor, but it felt more like a lounge than anything. Once you stepped away from the bar, there was an area filled with high-top tables, and beyond that, there were sitting areas to keep the atmosphere casual.
And then, of course, there was the playroom. My jaw dropped as I stepped into the space. Sam had told me about this but seeing it for myself was something else. I’d done a lot of research into littles since Sam had opened up to me about himself, and I couldn’t picture it being something I wanted. But walking into the playroom and seeing all of the different areas, hammered home that being little or having a Daddy didn’t have to be all-or-nothing.
While Jack finished a project he’d started, I wandered to one of the play spaces filled with dolls and blocks and tons of craft supplies. I ran my fingers over some of the dolls’ hair, considering what it would be like to pull them off the shelf and brush their long hair before styling it.
“I have a few more minutes here, if you want to relax,” Jack offered. “It might be the last chance you get today.”
“That’s okay, I’m just looking,” I responded, still not ready to admit to my curiosity. After all, this guy was the big boss, the man who signed my paychecks.
“Suit yourself,” Jack said dismissively. “But if you change your mind, you’re welcome to play with anything you’d like, as long as you put it away before we head to the other side.”
I studied the floor-to-ceiling bookcases for a long minute. There were so many books. I pulled one down and curled up in the bean bag chair. I tried reading a few pages, but those dang dolls were calling to me. I couldn’t read more than a few sentences without peeking at them. Finally, I gave up and grabbed one, along with a stuffie that was a strange combination of a Pegasus, unicorn, and llama. As I settled back in my seat, I brought the stuffie up to my face. She was so pretty and soft. I rolled to my side so I could rub the stuffie against my cheek, without Jack knowing what I was doing.
The voice that startled me wasn’t the one I’d expected. I dropped the book to the floor and spun around. “Hey, I didn’t expect you—”
John crouched in front of me. “Sorry about that. Jack told me you were over here relaxing. He said you were really into the book you were reading.”
“Oh crap.” I scrambled out of the bean bag, still holding tightly onto the stuffie. “That’s probably not a great first impression. I couldn’t help it. It’s been a long time since I found a book I could get lost in. I guess I did a good job.”
I felt my cheeks burning as I scrambled to pick up the book. My chest felt heavy as I put it back on the shelf. I wanted to stay here all day to find out what happened with Azi. But there was work to be done, and if I wanted helping out to turn into an actual job, I couldn’t slack off.
“Yeah, but Jack’s not upset,” John reassured me. “He was chuckling when he came over and told me to come and see you.”
I worried my bottom lip between my teeth, wondering if I should ask the question that was burning into my brain. If I did, he might decide I was too needy for him. But if I didn’t and Sam was right, John might not make a move. Sucking in a deep breath, I decided to go for it. “You were supposed to call me.”
John had the decency to look remorseful. He kicked at the edge of the bean bag chair and wouldn’t make eye contact. I steeled myself for the excuses I knew were on the tip of his tongue. The longer he didn’t say anything, the more impatient I grew.
Finally, I waved him off. “It’s fine. Let’s get to work.”
A strong hand wrapped around my arm as I reached the door. “Wait. It’snotfine, and we both know it. I keep screwing this up.”
“Then maybe it’s time for you to do something different,” I suggested. When I spun around, it was hard to stay mad at him. John’s eyes drooped, and I noticed the dark smudges beneath them. “I’m a big boy, John. If you’re not interested, you can tell me. You told me things wouldn’t be weird if I took this job, and I believed you. Even though you didn’t call when you said you would, I took a chance when Sam refused to take no for an answer. And I’m willing to pretend nothing ever happened between us, but that meansyouhave to be honest with me.”
“My interest isn’t the issue,” John murmured, right about the time I said fuck it and walked away. “Please, let me explain.”
“You know, I’m hearing a lot of that from you, but I have yet to hear a single explanation that makes sense,” I ground out. This shit wasn’t what I’d signed up for when I agreed to come into work with Sam today.
John led me to one of the sitting areas in the empty bar. He didn’t let go of my hand when I tried sitting across from him. I thought about how it felt the night he’d pulled me into the chair next to him. It might have been stupid, but I wanted to feel that safe again. Even if he was about to tell me we couldn’t explore the undeniable chemistry between us, I needed to be close to him. So, I let him pull me down next to him on the small couch.
