“Then I’ll be sure to say it again,” I promised him.
I didn’t immediately rejoin the group. Instead, I propped my elbows on my knees and pressed my palms against my eyes. I was in so over my head, but there was a lightness in my chest that I barely recognized. Now, I just had to figure out how to keep that feeling without shattering my entire world.
5
Mav
“What’s the deal with you and John?” Sam asked as soon as I plopped down next to him and shoved a chicken nugget into my mouth.
“Nuffing,” I said without waiting to swallow. An hour ago, that would have been the truth. I hadn’t mentioned the playroom blowjob to Sam because I wasn’t the type of boy to suck and tell. It was easy to see that John was struggling with the fact he’d let a guy get him off, and I wasn’t about to out him to his coworkers.
“That didn’t look like nothing to me,” Corey added. “That looked a whole lot like he’s your Daddy.”
“We barely know one another,” I pointed out. And that much was true. I tracked him with my eyes as he stood and walked across the basement.
“I didn’t know he was into guys,” Sam muttered to no one in particular. He shook his head and pressed his lips together. “Sorry, I shouldn’t have said anything. Daddy says I’m not supposed to gossip and I’m already on thin ice tonight.”
“Uh-oh, what did you do?” Most of the guys started giggling, but Sam’s cheeks burned bright red and he sucked his bottom lip between his teeth. “Oh man, this must be good.”
“I showed my friends my new present,” he mumbled.
“And you got in trouble for that?” I’d obviously missed something. Corey laughed hard enough he had to hold his gut as he rolled with laughter. Slade cleared his throat and glared at us. “Why would showing a present you received be naughty?”
“Because it’s not the type of toy I’m supposed to show people,” he explained, leaning closer to me so he could whisper. “It’s that thing I told you he bought me.”
My mouth fell open. “Wait. You showed them after you said you couldn’t show me? That’s not fair! I just moved all the way across the country to be closer to you and I don’t get to see?”
“Boys,” Theron called out. “What’s going on over there?”
“Nothing, Daddy,” Sam sing-songed sweetly at the same time I said, “Nothing, Sir.”
Theron scowled at Sam, then smiled at me. “Such nice manners you have. The rest of you could learn something from him.”
I felt bad, until I saw my new friends all rolling their eyes and snickering. I let out a sigh, relieved they weren’t upset with me.
“Sorry, I guess I was too loud,” I apologized, curling an arm around my plate and going back to eating. “But I would like to see it sometime if your Daddy says it’s okay. You made it sound awesome.”
“Oh, it is!” Corey sat up on his knees and leaned closer. “If you didn’t know it was handmade and you saw him drop his pants, you’d swear it’s real. I don’t know how they did it, but it’s so cool. It even feels real!”
“You let them feel it?” I slumped back, pouting for real this time.
“Don’t be mad,” Sam pleaded. “I was excited because today was the first time I wore it outside the house, and I kinda got carried away. Daddy said I’m going to get a punishment tonight after everyone goes home. But maybe he won’t if you’re here.”
“Oh no, don’t think I’m going to save you this time,” I scoffed. “If you break the rules, you have to live with the consequences.”
“You’re no fun.” Sam picked up his sippy cup and scowled as he drank.
I eyed his cup cautiously, trying to figure out if that was something I wanted. I didn’t think so, but there was so much in this world I’d never tried, I had no clue. One thing was for sure… If I had a cup of my own, it had to be bright pink, maybe with sparkles on it.
The entire time we ate, my attention was divided between the conversation at our table and the men at the bar. Most of them were significantly older than we were, but that wasn’t the only difference. All of them had this air about them. It felt like anyone could walk down the stairs and easily pick out those who were the Daddies and who were the littles.
And then there was me.
Was I a little, too?
Did Sam and I have more in common than not identifying with our birth genders?
The answer to both of those questions was a resounding maybe.
