“Am not,” I protested.
“Don’t try that shit with me,” Cam warned. Jason and Bryce both chuckled. “Every time shit doesn’t go your way, you get all pissy. Right now, it’s because you’re feeling like Eric doesn’t trust you enough to open up to you, even though that’s a crock of shit. If I had to guess, he’s trying to keep from worrying you with his problems. He knows you’re going to try to tell him it’ll all be okay, and that’s not what he needs right now.”
Bryce pulled me to his side when I tried to storm out of the room. Cam was too close to the truth for comfort. “He’s right. Just like you needed time to be pissed off and angry after the attack, Eric needs time now to work out whatever emotions he’s feeling.”
“There’s no reason for him to be pissed,” I argued. “Shit like this happens all the time. Someone else will pick him up. I know they will.”
Jason joined us in the living room and sat down in Eric’s chair. Well, what I used to think of as Eric’s super comfy, ratty and out of place recliner when he’d first come home at the end of the season.
“Drew, the reality is they might not,” he told me. “It’s different for him than it is for you. If you got let go tomorrow, it’d sting, but you’re still young and some other team would scoop you up. He’s nearing the end of his career and teams would rather save their salary money for the stars of tomorrow, rather than someone whomightmake it another two or three years before his body starts screaming at him to quit.”
“Okay, but if it’s such a given, why’s he upset?” I asked. I was beginning to feel like the naïve kid I assumed they all saw me as. While I really hadn’t thought about what it’d be like to be in my mid-thirties and facing no one wanting me anymore, it seemed like an inevitability when Jason laid it all out. Eric wasn’t the first guy to face this and he wouldn’t be the last.
“Because it sucks to admit you’re getting old,” Bryce responded. “Add to that the fact that I’m sure it took him by surprise, and you have an instant bad mood. Things have been going well here, and he probably hadn’t given himself much time to fret over what was happening with his contract.”
“God, you guys all fucking suck when you make sense,” I grumbled. “Now, I’m going to take Cam’s advice and go try to get some sleep. My parents are leaving early in the morning so they’ll be here well before lunch time.”
I leaned down to kiss Bryce goodnight. “Don’t stay up too long,” I requested. We still hadn’t discussed whether or not it was acceptable for two of us to fuck around when the third wasn’t there, but I needed him. If there was any hope of me getting to sleep, I needed to feel his chest under my head as I curled my body around his.
“I won’t,” he assured me.
I waved goodnight to Cam and Jason, telling Cam to get whatever he needed for them to be comfortable. They were sleeping in what was technically my room. That way we wouldn’t have to worry about changing the sheets in the loft in the morning.
I didn’t bother turning on the lights as I shuffled into the bedroom leaving a trail of dirty clothes in my wake. That’d be sure to piss off Eric since he was a bit of a neat freak, but I didn’t care. He’d pissed me off, too.
The bed was cold. I pulled the covers up to my neck, trying to get warm, but nothing seemed to help. I considered putting on some sweatpants and a T-shirt, but I couldn’t do that because I had to believe Eric would eventually come back. With three grown men in the bed, there was barely a need for a thin blanket, much less clothes, to keep warm at night. It was usually a fight to see who’d get stuck tangled in the sheets because everyone was roasting.
Ignoring the light streaming in from the hall when the bedroom door opened, I flopped onto my stomach and punched down the center of the pillow. “What’d the pillow do to you?” Bryce asked as he walked into the room.
“Don’t mind me,” I said dismissively. “I’ve got a lot on my mind. Eric taking off the way he did was just the icing on the cake.”
Bryce sat down on the edge of the bed and toed off his shoes. I rolled onto my side and watched as he pulled his light blue Polo shirt over the back of his head and threw it into the hamper. I loved that particular shirt because it was the slightest bit too tight since he’d started working out with us in the basement every evening. He had a body that’d make just about anyone drool. I slid to the middle of the bed, making sure there was plenty of room for him to crawl in next to me.
He pulled me against his chest once he was under the covers and kissed the back of my head. “What’s going on up there?”
“A little bit of everything,” I admitted to him. I wasn’t in the mood to talk because I didn’t want him thinking I had doubts about us. The truth was, I was freaking the fuck out on the inside because I knew it’d be impossible to keep my mom from realizing what was going on once she saw all three of us in the same room. I knew she’d be happy Bryce and I were still together because she fucking adored him, but I was nervous about what she’d think when I told her Eric was in the mix as well.
“Then talk to me about it,” Bryce encouraged. “You’re upset with Eric for walking out instead of talking, but isn’t what you’re doing the same thing?”
“No,” I scoffed. “It’s completely different, because at least I’m still here.”
“But you’re not,” Bryce countered. “You’re here physically, but you’re lost in your own head. Rather than talk to me so I can help you find solutions, you’re content to sit and stew. That’s not fair to anyone, because the longer you do that, the more of a prick you become.”
“If I’m such an asshole, you can head out the same door Eric did.” If Bryce was trying to make me feel better, he was doing a shitty job of it. I didn’t need him guilting me.
Bryce’s fingers dug into my shoulders, almost painfully, as he rolled me over so I was facing him. “Eventually, you’re going to learn those games won’t work with me,” he warned me. “I let you push me away before, I’m not going to do it again. Not now that I see it’s something you do when you think people should turn their backs on you. Haven’t you learned by now that I’m more stubborn than you could ever dream of being?”
I huffed out a weak laugh. Bryce was one of the most bullheaded people I’d ever met, but he didn’t come across that way because he chose to stand his ground in more subtle ways.
“Like I said, it’s a little bit of everything,” I repeated, hoping he’d drop it for now so we could both get some sleep.
“Okay, so pick one thing and we’ll start there.” He ran his hand up and down the length of my arm, grounding me, reminding me that I didn’t have to go through life alone. For whatever reason, Bryce wanted to be here to help me work through my issues.
“I’m worried about tomorrow,” I admitted to him. “We’ve been living in our little bubble here, where it’s just us and the people we can trust to not judge us. Tomorrow, my mom and dad will be here and I don’t want to have to hide from them.”
“So don’t,” Bryce responded. “From what I’ve seen, your parents truly grasp the concept of unconditional love. They don’t judge you for who you are or who you’re with; they love you because you’re their son. Nothing beyond that matters as long as you’re happy and healthy.”
“Yeah, but how long will that last? I feel like I keep testing them, trying to find that invisible line where they’ll decide it’s too much.”
